Came out to dad... - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Daisy1 · 8th Jan 2012, 10:19 AM

My dad drove me back to school this morning. When we were almost there, I said: "I haven't had a chance to tell mom yet, but the reason [my ex bf] and I broke up is because I'm pretty sure I'm gay. You guys are cool with that, right?" I'm lucky because they're quite liberal, so I wasn't too worried.

My dad's first response was "I'm sorry." But then he said he didn't quite mean that. He hugged me and said he was surprised, and sorry I would have to deal with the hardships that come with being gay. He asked if one of my best friends was my "paramour" (I wish she were, but that's another story), and then asked if I had a gf (also no). He also said he thought my sister was more likely to be gay than me.

And that was it. He said he'd tell my mom, which I'm fine with, and I asked him not to tell the rest of the family. I had this weird feeling afterwards, which I think was vulnerability from sharing such a big secret. I suspect he'll call at some point after he collects his thoughts.

stumble along · 8th Jan 2012, 10:50 AM

Congrats!

I wish I could tell my parents, though they are far from liberal
My friends are though, so I guess its not all bad.

I don't think it would feel like vulnerability, more like a sigh of relief since that's one of the hardest parts of coming out, but I digress

Good luck!

Hidinginalabama · 8th Jan 2012, 11:10 AM

Way to go you!

I know how hard it is to tell your parents. I did it about two mounths ago and it has made life with my parents so much better. And its awesome that your dad was so accepting. Dont worry so much about the long talk that every one talks about. It will come in time trust me on this one. One day your just sitting there with your parents and three hours later the questions are still coming. Again way to go you. You took a really big step in coming out.

silverhalo · 8th Jan 2012, 11:21 AM

Congratulations, I know what you mean about the strange feeling afterwards I have felt that on occassions.

Daisy1 · 8th Jan 2012, 01:24 PM

Update: as expected, he just called to tell me he's cool with it and he's sure mom will be too. He's glad I felt comfortable telling him, and he says he loves me and supports me and just hopes my life isn't too hard because of it.

Love my dad!

waitingfordawn · 8th Jan 2012, 02:27 PM

Congrats!

I totally understand the weird feelings afterwards--the day after I told my best friend, I kept thinking, "I can't believe I told him! OMG!!!" and at one point I started crying. But ultimately, I feel more relief that I sort-of-kind-of outed myself than regret. Man, is coming out ever hard. :/ I'm really glad my parents are the liberal types, too.

andersonh09 · 8th Jan 2012, 03:57 PM

Congrats! That's awesome that your dad is so supportive of you. I also understand that weird feelings that sometimes come afterwards, its definitely a feeling of relief to though, at least for me it is.

Daisy1 · 8th Jan 2012, 04:30 PM

Thank you everyone for your support! You've all been incredible since I joined EC a few months ago. If you had asked me in June, I never would have believed that I'd have made so much progress AND be so much happier.

thecat06 · 8th Jan 2012, 05:16 PM

Congrats!! I'm glad to hear that your parents are accepting!!

8th Jan 2012, 10:19 AM	#1
Daisy1 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Girls Out Status: Pretty much out! Location: East Coast Age: 26 Posts: 307 Join Date: Aug 2011	Came out to dad... My dad drove me back to school this morning. When we were almost there, I said: "I haven't had a chance to tell mom yet, but the reason [my ex bf] and I broke up is because I'm pretty sure I'm gay. You guys are cool with that, right?" I'm lucky because they're quite liberal, so I wasn't too worried. My dad's first response was "I'm sorry." But then he said he didn't quite mean that. He hugged me and said he was surprised, and sorry I would have to deal with the hardships that come with being gay. He asked if one of my best friends was my "paramour" (I wish she were, but that's another story), and then asked if I had a gf (also no). He also said he thought my sister was more likely to be gay than me. And that was it. He said he'd tell my mom, which I'm fine with, and I asked him not to tell the rest of the family. I had this weird feeling afterwards, which I think was vulnerability from sharing such a big secret. I suspect he'll call at some point after he collects his thoughts.

8th Jan 2012, 10:50 AM	#2
stumble along Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: 6 Good friends 3m/3f Age: 17 Posts: 220 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Came out to dad... Congrats! I wish I could tell my parents, though they are far from liberal My friends are though, so I guess its not all bad. I don't think it would feel like vulnerability, more like a sigh of relief since that's one of the hardest parts of coming out, but I digress Good luck!

8th Jan 2012, 11:10 AM	#3
Hidinginalabama EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Say no to the boobs. Say hell yes to men. Out Status: Almost every one other than work Location: alabama Age: 22 Posts: 954 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Came out to dad... Way to go you! I know how hard it is to tell your parents. I did it about two mounths ago and it has made life with my parents so much better. And its awesome that your dad was so accepting. Dont worry so much about the long talk that every one talks about. It will come in time trust me on this one. One day your just sitting there with your parents and three hours later the questions are still coming. Again way to go you. You took a really big step in coming out.

8th Jan 2012, 11:21 AM	#4
silverhalo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Quite a few Location: England, Age: 29 Posts: 3,161 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Came out to dad... Congratulations, I know what you mean about the strange feeling afterwards I have felt that on occassions.

8th Jan 2012, 01:24 PM	#5
Daisy1 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Girls Out Status: Pretty much out! Location: East Coast Age: 26 Posts: 307 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: Came out to dad... Update: as expected, he just called to tell me he's cool with it and he's sure mom will be too. He's glad I felt comfortable telling him, and he says he loves me and supports me and just hopes my life isn't too hard because of it. Love my dad!

8th Jan 2012, 02:27 PM	#6
waitingfordawn Well Known Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Queer Out Status: to friends and anyone that asks. Except family. Location: Montreal Age: 19 Posts: 140 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Came out to dad... Congrats! I totally understand the weird feelings afterwards--the day after I told my best friend, I kept thinking, "I can't believe I told him! OMG!!!" and at one point I started crying. But ultimately, I feel more relief that I sort-of-kind-of outed myself than regret. Man, is coming out ever hard. :/ I'm really glad my parents are the liberal types, too.

8th Jan 2012, 03:57 PM	#7
andersonh09 Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to most people Location: New England Age: 21 Posts: 87 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Came out to dad... Congrats! That's awesome that your dad is so supportive of you. I also understand that weird feelings that sometimes come afterwards, its definitely a feeling of relief to though, at least for me it is. __________________ "Don't be afraid to try new things. Remember, amateurs built the arch and professionals built the titanic."

8th Jan 2012, 04:30 PM	#8
Daisy1 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Girls Out Status: Pretty much out! Location: East Coast Age: 26 Posts: 307 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: Came out to dad... Thank you everyone for your support! You've all been incredible since I joined EC a few months ago. If you had asked me in June, I never would have believed that I'd have made so much progress AND be so much happier.

8th Jan 2012, 05:16 PM	#9
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Came out to dad... Congrats!! I'm glad to hear that your parents are accepting!! __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater