So I am 22 years old and have been pretty much out since my parents ran into me and my first girlfriend at 17. I am used to having my close friends know and I really like it that way. Then came my senior year at college and I decided it would be a good idea to do an exchange program in Japan. The first five months went pretty much alright, having too many things to do rather than talk about my sexuality. But lately I've started to go crazy. I have a bunch of new friends, some of them have been asking me about my life and I find myself too scared to let them know. Dealing with new cultures is a pain, and here people don't seem to be very acceptable of it. I became scared enough to not even tell the guys from my home country. I have not yet met the first person I'd like to talk about it with. To make it more annoying I am living in a small town and when I do get to travel to the city, I am always in company of my new friends, so I haven't gone visiting any gay friendly places. These days it has really started to bug me to be back in step 1. And there doesn't seem to be a chance to meet girls.
awh thats frusterating !! * pounds fists * i agree you need time to your self and time to breathe if you need support message me if you want on my wall
Thats tough, how long are you there for? Perhaps you could test the water with some LGBT topics and see what the reaction is?
Speaking from personal experience, I know it can be really difficult to adjust to living in a new culture on top of being gay. Especially when that culture isn't always the most tolerant of homosexual behaviour. I think it'd be good for you to get some time to yourself and for you to have the opportunity to search for LGBT-friendly places in the city or around where you live. Are you confident enough in your knowledge of the language and the city to safely get around by yourself? If so, I definitely recommend you find a time to head out by yourself (or with a supportive friend who knows your situation.) Do you know for certain how your new friends feel about homosexuality? As silverhalo suggested, I agree that you might want to mention those types of issues to get a sense of their feelings towards LGBT people.
I will be here until August, so that makes it 8 more months. I have tried a bit to introduce the topic, but for most is like they've never heard about it, I find it really strange. Japan is crazy, everybody judges over the fact that japanese animation seems to be all open about sexual preferences, but if you actually live here the vibe is completely different. I guess if I lived in a big city things would be a bit different. Then there's the language factor, I can somewhat manage myself but I am not sure if as much as to adventure to try out gay bars on my own. There's this one friend that knows about me, he's from my home University and we've been studying together for years, but he got a japanese girl and never wants to travel without her. I think I will continue to put my energies on improving my language skills and research :rolle:
Where in Japan are you living??? I lived in Hirakata-shi (near Osaka) and did some exchange there. There were A LOT of openly gay students (both Japanese and foreigners) and they didn't have much problem there. Actually it was a rather accepting place. I cannot say much out of personal experience because at the moment I hadn't even completed my coming in... so, no coming out either. But my openly gay friends loved the place. They used to say it was so gay friendly. Foreigner friends... well, I think you can tell them. I don't think they'll be an issue. Japanese friends... well, in experience they're very accepting people. Sure, they might not "agree" with what you do, but I honestly doubt you'll be the victim of homophobia. It's more likely that you'll be stared at because you're obviously a "gaijin" (assuming you don't look Asian) and that you'll have a "chikan" groping you and making you feel uncomfortable (being there, sister)... but that's pretty much it. Gay bars are mostly in big cities. I think sexual orientation (or sex in general) is not something Japanese people will be discussing about openly (maybe with close friends), so if you lesbian/gay friends it might be tricky. Also, I don't think that many lesbians are out. =/ Sorry, it's like that in my country too.
