Came out to my first person at college - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

FJ Cruiser · 15th Jan 2012, 11:22 PM

I got back to my dorm yesterday, and almost immediately afterword, I went to spend time with my boyfriend. I also spent almost the whole day today hanging out with him as well. Given how I stayed in my dorm room a fair amount last semester, my absence was noticed, and my suitemates knew I was with a special someone.

We all knew each other from high school. We started out as acquaintances, but the four of us have become friends since living together. One of them has a committed girlfriend that's at the same university as us, and the other two are very open about their relationships and girl chasing. Then there's me, the guy who stays quiet when the conversation goes to girls because he doesn't want to lead them to believe he's straight, yet he can't manage to tell any of them. They've tried to pry into my love life, not because they're intrusive, but because they all share these things with each other and want me to be in on it. All they've managed to get out of me was that yes, I did have my prospects, yes, one of them has been successful, and no, you can't meet "her" for the time being.

Anyway, I got back this evening and hung out with one of the guys (let's call him S). S is a raging hetero, but he's quite metro and comfortable with it. He was the one that tried the hardest to get the secrets out of me because he's just a very open and outgoing person. I wasn't sure what his stance on homosexuality was until he made friends with two gay guys. After that, I knew I was good to tell him.

He knew I had been hanging out with a special person, so the conversation almost immediately went to that, him asking "So do we get to meet this special girl...or guy?"
Me: "That's up to them."
S: "Were you successful with her or him last night?"
Me: *Rolling my eyes* "Maybe, maybe not"

Note that he included female and male forms both times. Noticing this, I made sure to answer in a gender-ambiguous form, cluing him in.

S: "I don't know why I even try. You're obviously not going to tell us about this girl or guy. By the way, if you're gay, you can just say it. I don't care."
Me: "I'm gay."
S: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah"
S: "Cool man"
Me: "I figured you'd be cool with it."

This all happened very quickly. I wasn't even nervous. The conversation just went onto other things pretty normally. Later, as we were walking to get something to eat:

Me: "So I guess it all makes sense why I was being so private about things."
S: "Wait, so you were serious just then?"
Me: "What did you think I was doing?"
S: "I thought you just had a dry sense of humor today."

So we hung out the entire evening, talking about my being gay among other things, some very funny comments coming from both me and him.
Me: "Yeah, even I attempted to have a crush on her."
Me: "Does it make more sense why I have said more than once that even gay guys can like boobs?"
S: "Dammit, how were you able get someone before me? This is like a game of roulette where you bet on a number and I bet on a whole color and you still win."
S: "If our suite was put in a lineup, people would think I was the gay one 100% of the time. So much for stereotypes."

All this is to say it was very successful and I think out friendship will be better for it. Thanks for all your support, EC! Hopefully this is the start to me being out and comfortable in college.

Jerseyboy · 15th Jan 2012, 11:31 PM

Congrats! =] Thats awesome how he was so chill about it, so are you gunna tell your other suitemates now too or do they already know?

thevedman · 15th Jan 2012, 11:43 PM

That's great news man! Congrats! I think your mates sounds like great blokes, I'm sure they'll be fine with it! Also congrats on finding yourself someone

**TheEdend** · 15th Jan 2012, 11:56 PM

I love the last thing that your friend said haha

Congrats on finally going for it!!

Artemicion · 16th Jan 2012, 12:20 AM

Hahahaha, your friend's roulette example is just hilarious! Congrats!

hml8 · 16th Jan 2012, 01:32 AM

congrats! He sounds cool. Hopefully the other guys you're living with will be too!

phospholipase · 16th Jan 2012, 01:40 AM

AHHHHHHHHH that was a cute story =]. I'm glad it went so well with you.

Bedroom Hymns · 16th Jan 2012, 02:37 AM

Cool man

.

anonomous teen · 16th Jan 2012, 05:10 AM

Thats awesome dude, i could never just be that open about my sexuality. Glad you were able to find someone to confide in

nate16 · 16th Jan 2012, 12:27 PM

Cool! Congrats on coming out!!!

Nazo · 16th Jan 2012, 07:41 PM

Super snazzy, #4!

FJ Cruiser · 16th Jan 2012, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jerseyboy

Congrats! =] Thats awesome how he was so chill about it, so are you gunna tell your other suitemates now too or do they already know?

They don't know yet. We discussed it, and I know my roommate wouldn't care at all, but the other suitemate, though he claims to be open minded, would probably be weirded out. It'll be interesting when I tell him because he's the one I hang out with the most.

thecat06 · 16th Jan 2012, 09:45 PM

Congrats!!

Sadepeura · 20th Jan 2012, 05:23 AM

Congratulations!

It's great that it went so well, and also I'm a fan of the genderneutral way your friend asked you about your boyfriend. Yay, for coming out!

Doctor Faustus · 20th Jan 2012, 07:21 PM

Well done, well done!

Many congrats! Onwards, upwards and outwards (?) I guess!

x

steel03 · 20th Jan 2012, 09:03 PM

Nice job! I'm glad it went well. Pretty much how it went when I told my roommate, haha. "So.... I'm gay." "Really?" "Yeah..." "Okay, cool."

javgier · 20th Jan 2012, 11:17 PM

XD your convo makes me laugh!!! you made it seem like it was so easy O.e HOWwww1!!!!!!

15th Jan 2012, 11:22 PM	#1
FJ Cruiser EC Addict Full Member Gender: Guy Orientation: Guys Out Status: immediate family, a few friends Location: Deep in the Heart Age: 19 Posts: 520 Join Date: Jul 2011	Came out to my first person at college I got back to my dorm yesterday, and almost immediately afterword, I went to spend time with my boyfriend. I also spent almost the whole day today hanging out with him as well. Given how I stayed in my dorm room a fair amount last semester, my absence was noticed, and my suitemates knew I was with a special someone. We all knew each other from high school. We started out as acquaintances, but the four of us have become friends since living together. One of them has a committed girlfriend that's at the same university as us, and the other two are very open about their relationships and girl chasing. Then there's me, the guy who stays quiet when the conversation goes to girls because he doesn't want to lead them to believe he's straight, yet he can't manage to tell any of them. They've tried to pry into my love life, not because they're intrusive, but because they all share these things with each other and want me to be in on it. All they've managed to get out of me was that yes, I did have my prospects, yes, one of them has been successful, and no, you can't meet "her" for the time being. Anyway, I got back this evening and hung out with one of the guys (let's call him S). S is a raging hetero, but he's quite metro and comfortable with it. He was the one that tried the hardest to get the secrets out of me because he's just a very open and outgoing person. I wasn't sure what his stance on homosexuality was until he made friends with two gay guys. After that, I knew I was good to tell him. He knew I had been hanging out with a special person, so the conversation almost immediately went to that, him asking "So do we get to meet this special girl...or guy?" Me: "That's up to them." S: "Were you successful with her or him last night?" Me: Rolling my eyes "Maybe, maybe not" Note that he included female and male forms both times. Noticing this, I made sure to answer in a gender-ambiguous form, cluing him in. S: "I don't know why I even try. You're obviously not going to tell us about this girl or guy. By the way, if you're gay, you can just say it. I don't care." Me: "I'm gay." S: "Really?" Me: "Yeah" S: "Cool man" Me: "I figured you'd be cool with it." This all happened very quickly. I wasn't even nervous. The conversation just went onto other things pretty normally. Later, as we were walking to get something to eat: Me: "So I guess it all makes sense why I was being so private about things." S: "Wait, so you were serious just then?" Me: "What did you think I was doing?" S: "I thought you just had a dry sense of humor today." So we hung out the entire evening, talking about my being gay among other things, some very funny comments coming from both me and him. Me: "Yeah, even I attempted to have a crush on her." Me: "Does it make more sense why I have said more than once that even gay guys can like boobs?" S: "Dammit, how were you able get someone before me? This is like a game of roulette where you bet on a number and I bet on a whole color and you still win." S: "If our suite was put in a lineup, people would think I was the gay one 100% of the time. So much for stereotypes." All this is to say it was very successful and I think out friendship will be better for it. Thanks for all your support, EC! Hopefully this is the start to me being out and comfortable in college.

15th Jan 2012, 11:31 PM	#2
Jerseyboy gettin the hang of it =) Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: 8 friends and my sister..go progress! Location: North Jersey Age: 18 Posts: 55 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Came out to my first person at college Congrats! =] Thats awesome how he was so chill about it, so are you gunna tell your other suitemates now too or do they already know? __________________ "Now I know it's hard to be something that you don't think you are, but it's hard for me to even try to understand why you are beating your own heart." -The Rocket Summer

15th Jan 2012, 11:43 PM	#3
thevedman Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guys Out Status: More people these days :-) Location: UK Posts: 131 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Came out to my first person at college That's great news man! Congrats! I think your mates sounds like great blokes, I'm sure they'll be fine with it! Also congrats on finding yourself someone __________________ And the wind keeps rollin' And the sky keeps turning grey And the sun is setting The sun will rise another day

16th Jan 2012, 12:20 AM	#5
Artemicion :D :D :D Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Anyone who asks, but parents in denial. Location: Vancouver BC Canada Age: 23 Posts: 1,112 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: Came out to my first person at college Hahahaha, your friend's roulette example is just hilarious! Congrats!

16th Jan 2012, 01:32 AM	#6
hml8 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Canterbury, Kent or Southend, Essex Age: 21 Posts: 424 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Came out to my first person at college congrats! He sounds cool. Hopefully the other guys you're living with will be too! __________________ 'I feel pretty, Oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay' . . . hums on

15th Jan 2012, 11:56 PM	#4
TheEdend Hope will never be silent EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Extended family still doesn't know Location: Orlando, Florida Age: 21 Posts: 2,831 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Came out to my first person at college I love the last thing that your friend said haha Congrats on finally going for it!! __________________ “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” -Gandhi

16th Jan 2012, 01:40 AM	#7
phospholipase 我是广东人。 But heavily Americanized? Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but family Location: Los Angeles Age: 20 Posts: 190 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Came out to my first person at college AHHHHHHHHH that was a cute story =]. I'm glad it went so well with you.

16th Jan 2012, 02:37 AM	#8
Bedroom Hymns The Morning Fog Regular Member Gender: Happy with my willy, but I don't care for gender. Orientation: I like phallic objects and muscles. Out Status: Some friends, some relatives (both my parents). Location: Under the ice Age: 16 Posts: 297 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Came out to my first person at college Cool man . __________________ Between two lungs it was released, The breath that passed from you to me, That flew between us as we slept, That slipped from your mouth, into mine it crept.

16th Jan 2012, 05:10 AM	#9
anonomous teen Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Newly self-discovered gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Australia Age: 18 Posts: 53 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Came out to my first person at college Thats awesome dude, i could never just be that open about my sexuality. Glad you were able to find someone to confide in

16th Jan 2012, 12:27 PM	#10
nate16 Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: close family and some friends Location: Massachusetts Age: 18 Posts: 118 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Came out to my first person at college Cool! Congrats on coming out!!!

16th Jan 2012, 07:41 PM	#11
Nazo Janis Ian's Lesbian Crush Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Facebook, not hiding at college Location: Michigan Age: 19 Posts: 2,071 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: Came out to my first person at college Super snazzy, #4! __________________ are you feeling like a prisoner are you living life the way you want giving time to ones you love are you giving time to who you are

16th Jan 2012, 09:45 PM	#13
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Came out to my first person at college Congrats!! __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

20th Jan 2012, 05:23 AM	#14
Sadepeura Bow ties are cool. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pansexual lesbian in a heterosexual relationship Out Status: Most people Location: Scotland Age: 22 Posts: 343 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: Came out to my first person at college Congratulations! It's great that it went so well, and also I'm a fan of the genderneutral way your friend asked you about your boyfriend. Yay, for coming out! __________________ "What’s the worst that could happen?" "You could get torn to pieces by a monster you can’t see." - Amy Pond

20th Jan 2012, 07:21 PM	#15
Doctor Faustus EC's resident Philosopher at Large Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Not straight. But only interested in men. xD Out Status: People who ask me. People whom I trust. Location: Basingstoke Posts: 1,610 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Came out to my first person at college Well done, well done! Many congrats! Onwards, upwards and outwards (?) I guess! x __________________ "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa.

20th Jan 2012, 09:03 PM	#16
steel03 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: mission accomplished Location: Iowa Age: 20 Posts: 480 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: Came out to my first person at college Nice job! I'm glad it went well. Pretty much how it went when I told my roommate, haha. "So.... I'm gay." "Really?" "Yeah..." "Okay, cool." __________________ And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

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20th Jan 2012, 11:17 PM	#17
javgier javier(new and improved) Regular Member Gender: im a guy Orientation: i think im gay Out Status: some friends and people in my mind Location: in a house.... in california Age: 17 Posts: 56 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Came out to my first person at college XD your convo makes me laugh!!! you made it seem like it was so easy O.e HOWwww1!!!!!!