According to the stages of coming out I am probably at stages 2 and 4. I use the word queer as in I intellectually am okay with being gay (lesbian), that's me though. I am always okay intellectually but not always emotionally. I wrote an email to Chip (EC Admin.) he stated "It sounds to me like you have a pretty clear understanding of where you are, personally; I don't hear much ambiguity in your own understanding of yourself as lesbian (though it might still be a bit shocking to you to hear someone say that to you.) " After I thought about it--"light bulb" (Grue-Despicable Me voice) :eek: That's it. I am still in shock of me being a lesbian. Last week I couldn't say the word this week I just in "awe." I get very uncomfortable and comfortable when someone points it out or just says. It's feels good and shocking. I feel like I was just hit with a thought "f-serious, I'm a Lesbian" (AHAA:*** I feel like a comic book. I am in shock and I'm chill with it. I'm becoming okay with myself being gay. I mean for the past 6 years I have been trying to change. I've never slept with a guy because I was told it doesnt work and will hurt mentally. I kinda had sex with a girl who I was with for a year. OMG* (So not straight) Idk. I shocked myself that I am okay with it or starting to be and liking it.. ahaha
Congratulations on coming out to yourself (*hug*) That really is the biggest step in my opinion. Just remember that your uniqueness is something that you should embrace and be proud of. You aren't just "a lesbian." That's just a part of what makes you, you. Keep being the proud, awesome person you are : D
yeah congrats! That really is the most vital step, without that you won't ever be comfortable (stating the obvs a bit)! Just do whatever feels most comfortable for you, go with the flow, often when people get to this stage of being comfortable with themselves and being sure they panic and feeling they immediatel need to come out to everybody who's important in their life. Ignore other people you are the important one, from now on just go with the flow regarding every part of your sexuality! Once more congratulations!
I definitely know the feelings of always being intellectually but not always being emotionally okay with this new identity, and by extension being both uncomfortable and comfortable with it at the same time. It takes some time for emotional acceptance to catch up with intellectual acceptance, but acceptance never comes if you don't first achieve one form of it, so you've made the big first step on the right track.
"‎Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit." -- E.E. Cummings (LOVE IT & E.E. CUMMINGS) I go in and out. Accepting things intellectually is way easier and simplistic than internalizing it. The uncomfortably comes because of maybe fear me accepting me or anything that affects me in a negative or positive way. At the same time I feel comfortable. Huh!
congrats on coming out i had a pretty hard time too realising (OMG does this mean Im gay?!) and then accepting it.
