Came out ... Nothing changes - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

shfh · 17th Jan 2012, 12:44 PM

I don't know if I can really consider what I did officially “coming out”. I am pretty sure I am a lesbian now, though I’m not completely closed to the idea of being bi (I think pretty unlikely but who knows I guess… I thought I was completely straight for 20 years…).

I told one of my best friends and I was so nervous I didn’t even lead it up with any explanation. I just pointed to myself and said “I’m gay”. It was a total anticlimax and probably the best thing I could hope to hear from anyone. All she said was “Oh ok and how you feel about that”. It felt so good and I am relieved because she assured me that nothing changes.

Before telling her, I had already decided I wasn’t going to announce it to the world because I feel like at this point it’s really no one’s business. I just continue with my steady and slightly boring life, career, school and whatever. If anyone asks, I think I’ll be ok with telling them (most people won’t come straight out and ask anyway), but I am comfortable right now with my private life being private. I guess I’ll do whatever I want to do, and it is oddly liberating.

As for the parents … well I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it. (… Completely terrified)

Thanks EC!

Hidinginalabama · 17th Jan 2012, 01:07 PM

Congrats and way to go you. You have taken a very big step in your life. And as for your parents its scary as hell but so worth it in the end.

shfh · 18th Jan 2012, 12:26 PM

I was rethinking maybe my logic is flawed. I said I was comfortable right now with my private life being private. But, does it sound like I am ashamed of who I am?

I want to live an open life, but does that mean I have to announce it? Or is it easier to live openly if I do tell the people around me instead of letting them suspect and guess?

I have no intention of telling my parents, but they are not in Canada and all their Canadian friends are in Vancouver. So, I don't have to worry too much about them finding out (... not yet).

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

17th Jan 2012, 12:44 PM	#1
shfh Well Known Full Member Gender: female ... maybe Orientation: Lesbit Out Status: really, you can't tell? Location: Canada Age: 23 Posts: 204 Join Date: Jan 2012	Came out ... Nothing changes I don't know if I can really consider what I did officially “coming out”. I am pretty sure I am a lesbian now, though I’m not completely closed to the idea of being bi (I think pretty unlikely but who knows I guess… I thought I was completely straight for 20 years…). I told one of my best friends and I was so nervous I didn’t even lead it up with any explanation. I just pointed to myself and said “I’m gay”. It was a total anticlimax and probably the best thing I could hope to hear from anyone. All she said was “Oh ok and how you feel about that”. It felt so good and I am relieved because she assured me that nothing changes. Before telling her, I had already decided I wasn’t going to announce it to the world because I feel like at this point it’s really no one’s business. I just continue with my steady and slightly boring life, career, school and whatever. If anyone asks, I think I’ll be ok with telling them (most people won’t come straight out and ask anyway), but I am comfortable right now with my private life being private. I guess I’ll do whatever I want to do, and it is oddly liberating. As for the parents … well I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it. (… Completely terrified) Thanks EC!

17th Jan 2012, 01:07 PM	#2
Hidinginalabama EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Say no to the boobs. Say hell yes to men. Out Status: Almost every one other than work Location: alabama Age: 22 Posts: 954 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Came out ... Nothing changes Congrats and way to go you. You have taken a very big step in your life. And as for your parents its scary as hell but so worth it in the end. __________________ "If men could only know each other, they would neither idolise nor hate." - Elbert Hubbard.

18th Jan 2012, 12:26 PM	#3
shfh Well Known Full Member Gender: female ... maybe Orientation: Lesbit Out Status: really, you can't tell? Location: Canada Age: 23 Posts: 204 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Came out ... Nothing changes I was rethinking maybe my logic is flawed. I said I was comfortable right now with my private life being private. But, does it sound like I am ashamed of who I am? I want to live an open life, but does that mean I have to announce it? Or is it easier to live openly if I do tell the people around me instead of letting them suspect and guess? I have no intention of telling my parents, but they are not in Canada and all their Canadian friends are in Vancouver. So, I don't have to worry too much about them finding out (... not yet). Does anyone have any thoughts on this?