Locked inside.

[Yanagi]

I am pretty sure I am, well, not straight. I have strong feelings for guys, and for me, girls are no more than good friends. Sure, if I know that I'm gay, or I would say, not straight, coming out would be a likely choice. BUT I just cannot accept myself being gay. Being aware of it is one thing, but letting people know, is just a whole different level. I built a certain impression to people and am from a crazy traditional family. I have a reason to believe that literally no one will try to accept the "gay" me. I was lucky enough to not be very feminine and hide this so far, and as hard as being in the closet is, getting out of it, I think, will kill me.

Any opinions on this "stalemate" situation?

[Sunsetting]

it's not really a stalemate. i know about the traditional family thing and i also know that i told my parents and the disagree with the gay lifestyle, but we still have really good conversations about it. funny thing is that i'm only out to a few other people, so i have my parents and a handful of friends who know. and i don't really feel like i have to do anything requiring a label at all. i'm not going to be forced out of the closet by anyone or told i'm gay because i feel a certain way. i'm just taking steps forward, screwing up a little, making some right decisions, developing my life and it's been a trip so far. i've said this to a few people already, you are more than just your sexuality, let yourself grow, develop and share with one trusted person at a time. and btw, my parents still love me...

[Yanagi]

Thanks for sharing your opinion. I think I will definitely start somehow by telling the closest friends and will have to see how that goes. As for the family, I don't think it's right to tear them apart just because I can't hold something in like that. I'm sure they'll love me no matter what, but I just cannot drop a bomb like that to my family, as I know how hard it will be to accept the fact that I am one of the people they despise.

[Sunsetting]

i feel you on the friend thing totally. and it did take me a few years before i told my parents too, so i feel you there. i do want to challenge you on something though too. make a distinction, YOU are not one of the people your parents despise, it's the gay lifestyle they disagree with. you said they love you and i think you're probably right. is ther a trusted friend, adult or counselor you can share this with?

[Yanagi]

Thankfully, yes. But I should wait until I'm ready. When I'm ready to accept myself, then I shall confess myself to the world. Hey, I think I got it! Thanks.

[Sunsetting]

lol, i'm sorry, it's 3am and my language is leaving me, i should really be going to sleep lol.

bro, i'm all for doing what you need to do when you need to do it. other people will probly post on your thread as well. take your time man. and, as another dude did, he didn't even wait to know exactly where he was at, he just told friends he was questioning which was really cool to hear too. peace bro and ttyl