Ok so I officially emailed a coming out letter to my ex-roommate from my previous college. We used to be best friends but as of late I'd been rather distance due to my own issues and well, because I've been pretty depressed lately (We're also now 1000 miles apart) As the title says, I'm freaking out. I've never come out to anyone before. It was my own little secret that no one knew about and now it's out in the universe:tears: and the universe (and hotmail) will no longer let me take it back. T___T Moral support much needed...
my lil sis........................... i heard on a lauryn hill album a line that i love "it's better to be the real you than the fake somebody else" we are all in development, so just know that this is where you are right now and that's all there is to it. since you were both friend, i'm betting that you expressed yourself extremely well (as usual) and she will respond positively. other than that, i'm totally.... >>>>>..............................ON YOUR SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's awesome that you emailed the letter!! I know how hard it is to hit the button to send the message. Good Luck!!!
Ahhhh good luck! I imagine you're pretty nervous and anxious for a response, but I hope you can spare some feeling for pride, too. Congratulations!!!
Kudos on sending the email, and remember to keep your chin up! Best of luck getting a positive response!
Quick, delete your sent box before it's too late! I'm just kidding. Seriously, though, good for you! It's, hopefully, one step closer to your own acceptance. I'm rooting for you.
Ok you guys, she finally responded. I can't explain how incredibly happy I am right now. Shes is by far one of the greatest friends I've ever had. It's kinda long but a lot of it was so inspiring and made me so happy. I think many people could benefit from what she said. I would post my letter but it's kind long and depressing so I'm gonna post this one... Dear XXX, I miss you like crazy. Your letter made me feel so many things, that I really regret reading it before leaving for class. I was like, “how am I supposed to concentrate now?!?!?” Honestly my first feeling was, “how could she not tell me!” but that was a duh- cause you didn't know yourself and this is not like considering to get bangs or try a new mustache waxer. And obviously you are telling me now, which is most important. I waited all day long to write this email. Originally it was because I was totally taken off guard. I mean I used to think I had excellent Gay-dar. But how is it that we lived together and were best friends and I never noticed the signs that you may not be into boys. I just assumed that you liking romance meant hetero romance. But as I was walking home I realized that you never liked lusty stuff that was all sex and boning. You liked that everyone was happy and felt good, which is applicable to everyone, hetero or not, and never once talked about about sexy boys -as you reminded me from that conversation that I am now super humiliated by. I apologize if I ever put you on the spot about you and boys and made you feel uncomfortable. After class, I waited to respond because I really wanted to think about what I wanted to tell you. The first being that A) I love you no matter what, and that nothing changes between you and me. You are- will be, have always been- the best and I am happy for you to have figured things out about yourself and recognized this part of who you are... I want to say that I feel incredibly touched that you would send this letter to me. I know the letter was hard for you to write, but it was so important for you to write it. And I am honored that I am someone you consider trustworthy. For the record, let me just say that I think that being gay is totally badass and awesome. And now I can hope that you will come do feminist-y things with me! (eh?) I know you may not feel that it is great now, but I hope that you will one day. No matter who you end up with, they will be incredibly lucky to have you. As I was to have you all to myself for a whole year. Being gay also means you are joining the likes of NPH, Ellen Degeneres, Virginia Woolf, Elton John, and sometimes Buffy (!) (in the season 8 comic she has a thing with another lady slayer). People who are not known as weirdos or outcasts, but are in general, well respected, admired, adored, considered smart and innovative, have long-term loving relationships, and sometimes even have children. My point being, there is no evidence to show us that you won't grow up to have a full and happy life with whomever you choose. I am sorry that your parents have negative attitudes towards being gay. I am guessing that you haven't told them yet. No matter what you are telling your parents, it is hard to declare yourself as an independent person with your own ideas... I think that it is really important that you have recognized this part of yourself. There will probably be countless conversations in your future where someone will try to convince you that you are a whole bunch of things that you aren't. For these people who cannot love you, I will love you twice as hard. You are a great person, who has the best heart. I hate to see that heart get bruised. But what you are doing now will one day allow someone wonderful to come into your life and see how amazing you are. Also, for your knowledge, I did not read this and freak out about us being roommates. You never were untoward towards me and I have always thought you were the properest of ladies. In your letter you said that “no one wants a lesbian friend.” That isn't true at all. I am not your friend because you are or are not gay. I am so proud to have you as my friend, regardless of who you date. You can date billions of women- just as long as I am still number one. If you take anything from this letter, let it be that I must always get top billing. The only friend I don't want is one who does not see the greatness that greets me everyday in the mirror. (these are jokes by the way...ugh God I hate myself sometimes). Anyway, my point is, you and I are cool as long as you will still have me.
OMG "For all those people who cannot love you, I will love you twice as hard" I wish she was my friend....she is amazing, has a huge heart, and is a total keeper! So happy for you
Just teared up a bit reading that letter. She is one incredible friend and you seem like an amazing girl yourself. I may not know you, but I am so proud of you. That took a lot of courage, and that courage was ultimately rewarded. I have yet to work up the nerve to come out to anybody. But when I do, I just hope the response is half as good as the one your friend gave you.
Aww thank you all so much for the responses and support. I really am so happy that she responded so well. It definitely makes the prospect of coming out to people a lot less scarier than before
This is an amazing post. It says a lot about you and your friend and I only hope any of my friends will be as accepting and understanding as yours when the time comes. I'm really happy for you
Oh wow, I read this and was speechless! She's amazing and I hope my friends react the same way! What an amazing person though- that was truly touching and I'm so happy for you as well!!!!!
