Im pretty sure my best friend thinks im straight.

Well how often do you talk about guys with him? How often does he see you with guys? How long has he known you're gay? For a lot of people, it takes a lot to change their idea of you. If there's nothing about you that suggests you're "typically gay" (ie, feminine, kissing boys, talking about sex or who you think is hot) then it's obviously going to take a lot longer for the idea to sink in, than if he saw you pashing guys left, right and center.

I'm not suggesting you go pash randoms in front of him (well...you can if you want ) but if you're not already - introduce him to gay friends, talk more about the gay aspects of your life with him. Don't dump it all on him at once, rather gradually build up on it. Mention things occassionly so he gets used to it.

Don't be anyone you're not though. Don't feel you have to "camp it up" for him to realise you're gay. If he's already a part of the "gay side" of your life, then it's really his own lack of understanding thats causing him to question your sexuality.

 

My advice, (although it is very frustrating to have someone else doubt your sexuality, thats a huge pet peeve of mine) is just to reassure him verbally that you have little or no interest in women now or in the future (if this is, in fact, true...if you are bisexual then tell him that there is a chance but you like males too so it's a coin-toss).

If you are a little uncomfortable with comfronting him, then try and make it easier to say by adding some sort of mood-lightener in the sentence...for example:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Him: "You know, one day your probably going to be straight and marry a woman."

You: "<insert name here>, i have more interest in marrying barn animals than women."

or

You: "Yeah as much as bananas will 'one day' rule the world"

or

You: "I'm straight as a cercle and twice as quare as a square."

The point is...just assert to him that your proud, and dont have any inclination of changing. It'll set in eventually, you dont need to do anything extreme like trying to act more gay cuz' thats just faking who you are. Or trying to flaunt around with boys.

Just be yourself and it'll sort itself out. One day this friend wont be able to deny that gays are gays and here to stay. Don't waste your time trying to convince such stubborn people.

 

The fact that your friend is sticking around is really great to hear! Congrats! But, like dave said, he probably just needs to see you come into your own as a gay person. He may just be suggesting your being straight because he knows how difficult it can be to be gay. Maybe he was looking for your reaction to his "marry a woman statement" to be drastic, ensuring that you are positive that you are gay, and that you arent going to go through the rough stuff of people knowing your gay and then change your mind.

just a thought.

 

Ok, How long has it been since you came out to him?

If it was recently, as in, the last few months, he may still be coming to terms with it internally. At a guess, he may have a certain idea in his mind, a stereotype of what he thinks being gay is about -- and you don't fit it. Therefore, based on what he knows, he decides that you might not be gay.

This doesn't mean that you have to push the fact that you're gay in his face. In fact, I think thats completely the wrong path -- only reinforcing his narrow understanding and unnecessarily changing your own behavior within the dynamic of the friendship.

What do I mean by that? Assuming that you're comfortable in the way that you act when you're around him, you don't need to change that just to prove that you're gay. He just needs to know that you're still the same person, and you are gay. Maybe he'll find out that being gay doesn't mean you have to act or talk a certain way. You just have to be yourself.

Also, don't feel the need to force his acceptance. Let him go at his own pace. If a conversation starts about it, let him know you're still the same guy. You were gay before you came out, it's just that he didn't know.

 

sitting him down and talking to him is probably the only way to explain it.

 

I take it this is your first forum, behind closet doors.

A year and a half thread should be left alone, especially when the user doesn't come here anymore.