I just wrote an outline of a conversation that I want to have with my two best friends. The contents of the letter isn't really what I want to tell everyone about, because if you've ever read my other posts or blogs then you'd already know what was written. I really hope that I have the courage to say it. I desperately want to do this. I'm sick of having to hide who I really am. I'm hoping that my friends will accept me fully. But that's what everyone who's about to come out wishes for. My one friend has made some ignorant comments lately, like that guys shouldn't wear super tights pants because it will make them gay. As soon as she said it I told her that pants don't make a person gay because it just who they are. My other friend has already had a very close gay friend, so I think she will take it the best. I'm just really nervous. So many thoughts are running through my head. Like what if they, for whatever reason, don't accept me. Or what if they need some time to think and they ask me to leave. I would understand if they needed time, but it would really hurt. I can only hope for the best. Hopefully it will be easier since I plan on reading it off paper for the most part. I decided this would be a good way because I can sort of separate myself from the situation. I also hope they ask me questions about my struggle with my sexuality. I guess only time will tell. Please if anyone one has advice or comments, feel free to post something. I really need support to do this. Thanks everyone! Sepphhyy
Thats exactly what I want to do but havent been able to bring myself to do it. Im glad you have the courage to come out to your friends. I hope everything goes well, and be sure to let us know!
Hi there! From what you have written, it seems that you are ready to start coming out, which is great! I would start with coming out to the friend who already has a gay friend. Build your support first, as this will help you to deal with less enthusiastic reactions better. Sometimes, friends and family members don't realize what they are saying is completely untrue or ignorant. But once they know that one of their friends or family member is gay, they will uttering ignorant comments and be more supportive. Being nervous is totally normal and it is okay to be nervous. Before you come out, take a deep breath, and just remind yourself that everything will be okay. Even if you don't tell them what you have planned to say, that's okay. Good luck, and I hope it goes well for you. Let us know how it all unfolded.
Hope it all goes according to your best planned out scenario. After I finally came out to my friend/roommate a few days ago, I sat on the floor trembling for a little bit, but he was absolutely cool with everything. The fact that we were discussing gay marriage (he's for it) certainly helped a lot. I'm finding that a lot of my fears and anxieties are all preconceived notions of how I think things will pan out, yet that hasn't been the case yet. Congratulations on taking the first few steps. We're all here cheering you on.
Sepphhyy, I know exactly how you feel. In January I started my coming out process at age 56. I had all those years of anxiety and unfounded expectations of what coming out would be like. I was sure I would be rejected and hated. Let me tell you, it's been just the opposite. Everyone I've told has listened quietly (probably stunned silence) and then offered me hugs, words of support and acceptance, and assurance that they still want to be a part of my life. Of course I know everyone's situation is different, but I have some very religious and redneck types that now know me for me. I know it'll be a little uncomfortable for awhile, but I believe what they told me. I think one thing that made a big difference is that I told them directly, with humility and sincerity. I let them know that I'm sorry for any pain I caused. (I've been married for 35 years, so there's a lot of it.) They knew I was speaking from my heart. Just let them know who you are. If they really love you, they'll accept you. Good luck! Lift the veil and see what's on the other side! 55bna
That's a brave decision to make, good on you! I'm sure you'll pull it off! Good luck and let us know how it went!
