Well, I finally did it. I'm on a fishing trip with friends including my best friend. In an absolute drunken stupor, while being helped to bed I started crying and told my friend "I'm gay, how does that make you feel?" He said we'd talk about it later. I pretty much passed out at that point. The next morning he pat me on the back a number of times and we've been joking and talking as if I never said a thing. We ride back together alone on Wednesday where I'm going to have really no choice but to come out with everything. From his reaction so far, I think it should go well, although, I'm still scared. What worries me most isn't that we will still be friends, but for the quality of the friendship going forward. Wish me luck
Wow! That's not the ideal way to come out, but like you say, what's done is done. You might start the conversation on the way home asking him what he remembers from that night if he was as drunk as you were. Either way, it might be a good opportunity to tell him what you've been struggling with for so long and see where it takes you. If he's a good friend, it won't change anything. The thing I keep telling myself as I'm coming out, "I'm done trying to control things. It's what I've done all these years and it's part of what has to stop." It's given me some peace. Good luck and let us know how it goes! (*hug*)
I'm pretty sure he was fully aware during that conversation. I agree, probably not the best way, but, I don't know if I'd have done it otherwise. I do wish he'd pull me aside so we could talk. It's fine if he doesn't, I've boxed myself in (which is a good thing) I've really no choice but to finish up on Wednesday when we drive home if not sooner.
I think the back patting sounds like a good sign. He hasn't freaked out and stopped touching you. I had a friend who suddenly started making sure there was always at least one person in between us. Things could be so much worse. Best of luck to you man.