I really want to come out of the closet about my sexual orentation. I have a crush on a close friend, someone I've known since elementary school and now I'm in eighth grade. I'm Bi-Curious and really want to ask her out. Problem is that I don't know how she will take it (she is Bi), or the rest of my friends, or my family. I'm also worried about feeling guilty about it after I do. -Nervous.- I don't know what to do. I've come out of the closet to three people I trust, but I'm so nervous!
Hi, and, again, welcome! I'm a pretty passive person, so I would sleuth around your friends and family. Perhaps bring up LGBT issues in the news, and see what they say, or if it happens to come up in conversation (Say you're watching, I don't know, Glee or something, and someone makes a comment.), press for a little more information. If they say something derogatory, say "What, you think something's wrong with whatever it is?" jokingly. Things like that, or just listen and gauge how you think they feel about the topic of LGBTQ. You're nervous about feeling guilty? I wouldn't! You are who you are, and you should NEVER feel bad about it! People may not exactly accept who you are, but you shouldn't let that stop you. I know, I know, easier said than done right? Listen to other people, take it slow but don't tiptoe around others, and just come out as you see comfortable. Present yourself to your friends or parents at a time of leisure or idleness, just say "Hey, I have something I gotta tell you guys.". There are SO many ways to go about this.. Sorry, that probably wasn't much help. :::: ((
Hey if you already know that she is bi then you know she will most likely be supportive, so perhaps you can come out to her and then once you are out to her you can ask her out. Dont feel guilty you deserve to be happy and yourself.
Hi there! Usually coming out to friends, who you know have been out, or are not hiding their sexual orientation, is a good idea. Are you out to her? Having a crush on your friend complicates matters a bit, because you might attach expectations to your coming out to her that you otherwise wouldn't. As silverhalo mentioned, if you are not out to her, try to come out to her first, and then take it from there. I would suggest that you talk with her for a little while, and if you still have the same feelings or feel that you are having a crush on her, try to ask her out then. Coming out and being nervous is totally normally. You are trying to share and let go of something very personal. Coming out to your friends individually, and perhaps in a place were you feel comfortable, might make it easier on you. Take it one friend at a time. If you are not sure as to how your family will react, build up your support network first, which include friends, teachers, counselors, EC, LGBT support groups, etc.... Once you have built up your confidence and know you have a good support network that you can rely and fall back on (if you need to) start coming out to your family.
(half of this is basically repeating what everyone else said, but oh well :$) Hi there :3 First I must say, don't try to feel guilty -- or worry about feeling guilty. It's okay to be LGBT, we were born like this. In the end, we're all still human. Also, if you come out to her and she's already bi, she'll most likely support you the whole way. She's gone through it herself. I mean, think about it. You're bicurious, right? Say one of your friends came out to you. Since you understand, of course you'll support them, right? (P.S. Sometimes I find it more comfortable coming out in a letter. Whatever suits you best :3) So you have those two situations out of the way (I hope I didn't skip one :$). Now it's just like a straight girl asking a guy out. Even better -- that guy has been her friend since elementary school. It's not like the girl you ask out will be super super rejective. There is always the chance of her saying no, but what's the worst that can happen? If she's really, really, a close friend to you (in which it sounds like she is), then the worst that'll happen really is she'll say something along the lines of, "I'm really, really, sorry, but I'll have to say no," and you guys will be back to being friends. Right? And just remember, just because there's a possibility she'll say no, there's still the possibility she'll say yes. Be optimistic, and things might turn out just right. I hope I helped. Keep us updated! EDIT: Shoot, I just re-read the post. Okay, about your family. Friends are usually very, very supportive, but family can be tough. Like the other people mentioned above, try to see how they react to LGBT things, or gain support from an LGBT group, your friends, a GSA at your school, even here at EC. And I forgot to add -- don't rush. You can tell everyone when you feel like it's ready. And you'll know when it's time. But there's no deadline to come out to anybody, even yourself. So don't try to rush everything. If your parents are homophobic -- you'll have to be patient. Try telling them when you can walk on your own feet instead of relying on them. Also, finally (I forgot a lot of stuff, lol), space everything out. Try telling people one at a time, instead of like, announcing it. It helps, a lot. And one more thing. Don't come out to your family before an important event or holiday, like Christmas or a birthday. It can put a lot of stress on the family, which is the last thing you'll want. I hope everything goes well. Again, keep us updated!
Thank you everyone for the very good advice, I really appreciate it. ^_^ I will keep everyone updated!
(I'm not sure how to edit my posts so here we go.) I have decided I am going to ask her out on Monday. I'm really scared because of the fact she may say no, or still the guilt as stupid as it is. I'm also nervous because I am a Christian, and doesn't the Bible say same-sex relationships are wrong? That is defiantly one of the main things holding me back.
I hate to be the one to ask you this, but can you please make the text somewhat larger on your posts? I must be getting old because I can not really read your words easily. Then again, maybe that is what you were going for, making it hard for older people to read your posts. lol.
