Did you change after coming out? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

Loras · 27th Feb 2012, 05:18 AM

After coming out did anything change about yourself?

For me i guess i use to dress more manly but now im a bit more fashionable or different, also i feel alot happier and i think it makes me alot bubblier.

fatalmoon91 · 27th Feb 2012, 05:25 AM

im a lot more open and much less reserved/angry. so basically it freed me in a way that until after it happened i didn't realize i had felt imprisoned at all.

stephaniko · 27th Feb 2012, 06:27 AM

The pressure of trying to sneak around with my girlfriend so no one would find out I was gay made me really irritable. My mom noticed that after I came out I was more relaxed and happier all the time.

Rinto · 27th Feb 2012, 07:02 AM

I've been very phony with myself and around others lately. I laugh at things and smile just to make impressions I'm pretty okay with life, especially with the boys. I don't get that much comfortable with guys now and I enjoy solitude more. Maybe that's what I can't find/get a girl/boyfriend?

maverick · 27th Feb 2012, 08:13 AM

I was extremely reserved when I was in the closet, and now I'm generally much happier and outgoing. I'm still pretty introverted, but I'm a lot more friendly and a lot less guarded/aloof in my behavior. I also started flirting with girls a little, when before I had basically acted like I was afraid of them.

If I could sum my the way I changed in one word, it would be "brave". I became a lot braver.

As far as physical changes, I cut all of my long hair off into a "male" haircut, purged my entire wardrobe, started wearing men's clothing, and started lifting weights/working out.

My mom was really concerned that people would make fun of me or judge me for doing such a huge 180 with no explanation, but I didn't feel like I owed anybody one. In reality, my mother has been much more discriminatory towards me than my coworkers or friends ever were.

Nobody else even mentioned the changes other than to compliment me on my clothes or my hair, or to tell me how fit I was getting. *shrug* If they gossip about it behind my back, I don't really care.

Orcas · 27th Feb 2012, 08:40 AM

I became a lot more open about myself, and was able to connect with friends in ways that I never could before.

Merlot · 27th Feb 2012, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirko

I became a lot more open about myself, and was able to connect with friends in ways that I never could before.

I started speaking with a lisp and saying fabulous all the time.

**thecat06** · 27th Feb 2012, 09:45 AM

I became more social when I came out. I did not have to hide a part of me anymore.

Zooombini · 27th Feb 2012, 10:13 AM

Once I came out nothing really changed except some of my friends began to question their sexual orientation and turned to me to help them. I also felt more confident and comfortable with both my orientation and who I was.

TheAMan · 27th Feb 2012, 11:34 AM

I didn't really change much. I wearer tighter (not skinny) jeans now and I talk a little differently. Besides that, I haven't changed at all.

CrystalRaindrop · 27th Feb 2012, 12:48 PM

I started to call other girls pretty and not care about whether or not they think I'm awkward.
Basically I'm more open about what I feel. :3 That's the big thing. I don't dress differently or anything like that at all though. ^^

Loras · 27th Feb 2012, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlot

I started speaking with a lisp and saying fabulous all the time.

This happens to me sometimes when im talking to other gay guys or girls, my word that i started using was gorgious though

Merlot · 27th Feb 2012, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loras

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merlot

I started speaking with a lisp and saying fabulous all the time.

This happens to me sometimes when im talking to other gay guys or girls, my word that i started using was gorgious though

Gorgeous is a fabulous word too sista!

PianoNate · 28th Feb 2012, 09:53 AM

hhmmm ... **wondering how far I'm really in the closet** GORjus and FABulous are part of my everyday vernacular now ... uh oh

malachite · 28th Feb 2012, 10:31 AM

yes, I became more confident in myself

Lemony Lime · 28th Feb 2012, 11:16 AM

Not really, honestly. I'm a little more conscious about how I look, because I'm more interested in actually getting a boyfriend... but that's it.

**Lexington** · 28th Feb 2012, 12:04 PM

A bit. I lost some of the "reserve" I had. I let myself do that weird wrist flourish I do when I point at things. I didn't worry if my laugh sounded more like a giggle. Sadly, I still dress like an utter slob, though.

Lex

**BudderMC** · 28th Feb 2012, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemony Lime

Not really, honestly. I'm a little more conscious about how I look, because I'm more interested in actually getting a boyfriend... but that's it.

This. Though I still dress comfortably like I like (jeans, t-shirts, sweaters, nothing fancy). And I guess I'm a little more open/confident about myself.

Though, not really overall.

Merlot · 28th Feb 2012, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PianoNate

hhmmm ... **wondering how far I'm really in the closet** GORjus and FABulous are part of my everyday vernacular now ... uh oh

Haha, nice, you get a pass for gorgeous because your a southerner. Fabulous on the other hand is quite flowery in all regions me thinks.

28th Feb 2012, 07:35 PM

friends say I started to dress a bit "more" but I don't see it

27th Feb 2012, 05:18 AM	#1
Loras Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Most People Location: New Zealand, Hamilton Age: 23 Posts: 154 Join Date: Feb 2012	Did you change after coming out? After coming out did anything change about yourself? For me i guess i use to dress more manly but now im a bit more fashionable or different, also i feel alot happier and i think it makes me alot bubblier.

27th Feb 2012, 05:25 AM	#2
fatalmoon91 both sides of the coin Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: my rainbow shines brightly Out Status: Out to everyone Posts: 288 Join Date: Jan 2012	Re: Did you change after coming out? im a lot more open and much less reserved/angry. so basically it freed me in a way that until after it happened i didn't realize i had felt imprisoned at all.

27th Feb 2012, 06:27 AM	#3
stephaniko Well Known Full Member Gender: bigender Orientation: pansexual Out Status: A few people Age: 21 Posts: 109 Join Date: Feb 2012	Re: Did you change after coming out? The pressure of trying to sneak around with my girlfriend so no one would find out I was gay made me really irritable. My mom noticed that after I came out I was more relaxed and happier all the time. __________________ the bird of hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame

27th Feb 2012, 07:02 AM	#4
Rinto Spirit of Duality Full Member Gender: Monsieur Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Quite a few Age: 17 Posts: 586 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Did you change after coming out? I've been very phony with myself and around others lately. I laugh at things and smile just to make impressions I'm pretty okay with life, especially with the boys. I don't get that much comfortable with guys now and I enjoy solitude more. Maybe that's what I can't find/get a girl/boyfriend?

27th Feb 2012, 08:13 AM	#5
maverick let watchers become warriors Full Member Gender: You tell me. Orientation: Hey good lookin'. wink Out Status: It's pretty obvious. Location: Alabama cue banjos Age: 27 Posts: 2,118 Join Date: Nov 2010	Re: Did you change after coming out? I was extremely reserved when I was in the closet, and now I'm generally much happier and outgoing. I'm still pretty introverted, but I'm a lot more friendly and a lot less guarded/aloof in my behavior. I also started flirting with girls a little, when before I had basically acted like I was afraid of them. If I could sum my the way I changed in one word, it would be "brave". I became a lot braver. As far as physical changes, I cut all of my long hair off into a "male" haircut, purged my entire wardrobe, started wearing men's clothing, and started lifting weights/working out. My mom was really concerned that people would make fun of me or judge me for doing such a huge 180 with no explanation, but I didn't feel like I owed anybody one. In reality, my mother has been much more discriminatory towards me than my coworkers or friends ever were. Nobody else even mentioned the changes other than to compliment me on my clothes or my hair, or to tell me how fit I was getting. shrug If they gossip about it behind my back, I don't really care. __________________ Shelter me oh genius words, just give me strength / to pen these things, and give me peace to well her wings / and oh, oh carry on, all you minstrels of the world, we will catch our lady's ear, we will win for us the girl.

27th Feb 2012, 08:40 AM	#6
Orcas EC Board Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and about Location: BC, Canada Age: 36 Posts: 11,824 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: Did you change after coming out? I became a lot more open about myself, and was able to connect with friends in ways that I never could before. __________________ ~ Somewhere within us all there is a secret garden. A garden in which we can seek refuge when times are rough or retire to in joy or contemplation ~

27th Feb 2012, 09:45 AM	#8
thecat06 Let the journey of life continue! EC Moderator Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! (Homoromantic Demisexual) Out Status: Out as pan to most, out as gay completely Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 20 Posts: 7,052 Join Date: Jun 2011 Tournaments Won: 9	Re: Did you change after coming out? I became more social when I came out. I did not have to hide a part of me anymore. __________________ The tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. -Anderson Cooper

27th Feb 2012, 10:13 AM	#9
Zooombini The Fabulous Fancy Cat Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Possibly Pansexual, Maybe Bisexual Out Status: A few people Age: 17 Posts: 411 Join Date: Dec 2011	Re: Did you change after coming out? Once I came out nothing really changed except some of my friends began to question their sexual orientation and turned to me to help them. I also felt more confident and comfortable with both my orientation and who I was. __________________ "Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." -Einstien

27th Feb 2012, 11:34 AM	#10
TheAMan EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: close friends Location: VA Age: 18 Posts: 471 Join Date: Feb 2012	Re: Did you change after coming out? I didn't really change much. I wearer tighter (not skinny) jeans now and I talk a little differently. Besides that, I haven't changed at all. __________________ If you love something let it go. If it comes back it was yours to keep. If it doesn't it was never yours.

27th Feb 2012, 12:48 PM	#11
CrystalRaindrop Mentally Ill Genius Full Member Gender: Transmasculine Genderqueer (ze/hir) Orientation: Panromantic Gynesexual Out Status: Sxlty:Most people, Gndr:Close friends & parents Location: Daytona Beach, Florida Posts: 638 Join Date: Feb 2012	Re: Did you change after coming out? I started to call other girls pretty and not care about whether or not they think I'm awkward. Basically I'm more open about what I feel. :3 That's the big thing. I don't dress differently or anything like that at all though. ^^ __________________ "Man is free at the moment he wishes to be." -Voltaire

28th Feb 2012, 09:53 AM	#14
PianoNate Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: anyone ... why? did someone ask about me? Location: St Louis, MO Age: 37 Posts: 215 Join Date: Feb 2012	Re: Did you change after coming out? hhmmm ... wondering how far I'm really in the closet GORjus and FABulous are part of my everyday vernacular now ... uh oh

28th Feb 2012, 10:31 AM	#15
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 7,157 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Did you change after coming out? yes, I became more confident in myself __________________ 4 out 5 divorcees agree that marriage is a sacred union.

28th Feb 2012, 11:16 AM	#16
Lemony Lime Fruity Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: 4.5 Out Status: Family and Internet Location: Oregon Age: 21 Posts: 46 Join Date: Feb 2012	Re: Did you change after coming out? Not really, honestly. I'm a little more conscious about how I look, because I'm more interested in actually getting a boyfriend... but that's it.

28th Feb 2012, 12:04 PM	#17
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 43 Posts: 13,979 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Did you change after coming out? A bit. I lost some of the "reserve" I had. I let myself do that weird wrist flourish I do when I point at things. I didn't worry if my laugh sounded more like a giggle. Sadly, I still dress like an utter slob, though. Lex

28th Feb 2012, 07:35 PM	#20
GoogieHowser Guest Posts: n/a Tournaments Won: 15	Re: Did you change after coming out? friends say I started to dress a bit "more" but I don't see it

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