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Well, that went well.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by BudderMC, Feb 27, 2012.

  1. BudderMC

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    So, for anyone who's been following my irrational worrying the last couple of days, I had been planning on telling my rather religious and sheltered housemate that I'm gay. I was pretty optimistic about it before another friend of mine came to visit, who then informed me that it would probably not go at all well. I texted him last night and asked if he'd be free to go for a walk when he got back home, 'cause I needed to talk with him, and he agreed.

    We start walking around the neighbourhood and towards campus, and I start mumbling, thanking him for coming on a walk and all that. After about 30 seconds (rather short by my standards), I tell him that I'm gay. That in itself is a big deal for me, because I don't think I've ever used those two words before in my coming out to anyone so far. Anyway, he took it amazingly well, and I was soooo stoked! I think his immediate response was "Oh, really? Cool.", and I distinctly remember having to do a double-take because I couldn't believe he said that.

    We walked and talked for another good 45 minutes or so, mostly me just making sure he was actually okay with it and encouraging questions. It turns out that he's very undecided on his opinion of homosexuality, and since it isn't a priority for him to figure it out, he can't judge something that doesn't affect him. The only thing is he doesn't want to see any PDA if I ever get a guy... but he doesn't even like straight PDAs, so it's all good. Hell, he even said that if I ever bring a guy over, he's kinda looking forward to it because he wants to ask him about how we met and stuff. And he said that if he ever figured out his stance on the topic and decided he didn't agree with homosexuality, that he'd let me know so I could be aware, which is pretty considerate.

    And of course, he said he wouldn't have guessed I was gay. And that I'm the first non-feminine/flamboyant/stereotypical gay guy that he knows. So hopefully I'm breaking down some stereotype barriers or something.

    I figured through all this that at best, it would be some sort of strained tolerance on his end, and everything would be okay for the most part. He isn't quite supportive per se, but that's much better than what I was even hoping for. All in all, fantastic.

    And on top of all that, I can finally be 'out' at university now, or in the near future, since there's nobody holding me back but me anymore. Soooooo stoked. Thanks for putting up with me, EC. :rolle:
     
  2. Carpe Diem

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    Awesome! Good for you.

    Just don't let it get over your head. Remain somewhat cautious of people's reactions of your coming out and be prepared to be alienated by some people (whom you don't really care for in the first place).

    It doesn't hurt to be mentally prepared for rejection, but with your biggest obstacle gone, I guess you can be cautiously optimistic with your big announcement.

    Now you can add "Find a boyfriend" to your to-do list. :icon_wink

    Best of luck!
     
  3. TruffleDude

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    That is great news.
     
  4. BradThePug

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    That's awesome!! Glad it went well!!
     
  5. Mirko

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    I am so happy for you that you came out to him and that he took it so well. Awesomeness! Yep, now you can be out at university.... go for it! :slight_smile:
     
  6. Chip

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    Fantastic! First, congrats on screwing up the courage to tell him, and how wonderful that he was cool with it!
     
  7. BudderMC

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    Thanks everyone. :grin:

    Oh yeah, I'm cautious by nature anyway. But it is reassuring to know that everyone else I need to tell will probably be fine with it; he was the only one where I had legitimate doubts that it would go well.

    And I'll definitely be adding that to my list :wink:
     
  8. Loras

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    This is really cool.
    But be careful coming out to some people who you think are not going to mind, its quite easy for us to both under and overestemate somebody we think we know
     
  9. TheAMan

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    Great news dude. Isn't it funny how we worry about people not accepting us only to find out they don't mind at all?
     
  10. BudderMC

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    Indeed. I think I'll end up living with a permanent guard up, just because it's been like that for so long. I find that I tend to surround myself with similar values as myself, and as such, most people won't have a problem with it.

    Regardless, the people I felt I had to tell all took it well, except for my family who doesn't know yet. Though, they're my family; I can't exactly not tell them or run if it goes badly, I'll have to roll with whatever happens anyway.

    Thanks for the advice though :slight_smile:
     
  11. jimL

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    Oh yes your breaking down those barriers. Good on you.
     
  12. 55

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    Fantastic!! Congratulations! :thumbsup: