Outed

I was stupid enough a long while back ago to make me and my then-crush-now-girlfriend married on the Sims. And my stepdad found it. Surprisingly, he wanted to talk to me about it first and didn't tell everyone else. Actually, he didn't really talk about it. I wanted to, just to explain things and all the turmoil I've been going for, but he was only interested in whether we had screwed yet or not. Of course he refused to discuss it once I told him we hadn't.

I'm confused, pissed off, terrified and worried as hell. He claims he doesn't care, but as soon as I ask to stay the night he's gonna make a huge deal and since that's usually the ONLY time I'm allowed to see her when she's in town, I'm screwed. And now I'm gonna HAVE to tell my mom or else he will, and then they'll gossip about me like I hear them do all the time and she'll get pissed.

I'm so scared. I just want to leave now before things get bad, because they will.

Or maybe they won't. Maybe I can be free from this stupid lie and just cope with the gay jokes my stepdad and brother will be using constantly. And I thought getting called Rainman was bad (an insult to Rainman if you ask me).

I do not want to live on this planet anymore. :tears:

 

Oh, I guess, according to him, I don't have to tell my mom because it's not true. I'm just confused. Darn, I was really sure that I was attracted to my girlfriend in about every way. But I'm just a confused 14 year old little girl who will apparently switch back to normal after this silly little phase.

Yes, 14 year old. And yes, I am actually 17. But because I haven't had sex with both a man and a woman it means I'm straight because I haven't been able to choose which I liked better. Silly, silly me! And to think I thought it wasn't a choice. I just need to go whore around with some men and I'll be turned back.

I really, REALLY dislike my stepdad right now.

:bang::bang::bang::bang::bang:

---------- Post added 4th Mar 2012 at 01:18 PM ----------

OH. And may I add that I was pretty much forced to answer... questions that were crudely put. I feel so gross...

 

That doesn't make me feel much better, I'm sorry. He's made me feel like a dirty slut with his prying and the stuff I had to say. And then he brushed me off like a gnat that was flying too close to his big fat head.

Not to mention he effing brushed me off because he was watching MY favorite movie (which he later insulted). Petty? Oh sure, but it finished off MY day.

I refuse to tell my mother. I refuse to take even more shit from her. I already get lying, stupid, fat, lazy, bloodthirsty, filthy bitch. I'm not gonna add "confused little girl who wants to play pretend for attention" to her list.

Let him play his stupid little game. I've got 3 people on my side and none of them can even help more than a moral boosting text every now and then. And, you know what's funny? One of those people are coming over and I'M NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE EFFING HOUSE. Why? Because my effing withdrawal has made me unable to stand without falling over. Just keep the punishments coming! Maybe soon I'll feel something other than sorry for myself.

I'm already dead to me anyway. I wish I was dead. If I get called "carpet licker" by a man who doesn't even believe I like chicks ONE MORE TIME, I will possibly snap.

And he will ENSURE I do not see her again. The effing bastard. Bless the fat head to heaven, because with all the awful thoughts I'm stuck on now, I'm surely going to hell and I do NOT want to meet him there.

Oh, now he's looking for me. I forgot that 17 year old girls aren't allowed to be in their rooms alone until it's time to sleep.

Back to my post.

 

Alright, so he confronted me via phone and demanded that my mother HAD to know KNOW. He then proceeded to say she was gonna be as pissed as all hell, and I would never be able to see my V again. Naturally, I was devastated. Mind you, he's enjoying all of the suffering I'm going through, so he adds on "So, you wanna tell her or should I?" RIGHT. I say I want to tell her. He pretty much laughs in my face and says "I'm gonna call and tell her now. Tell your fat ugly girlfriend goodbye." *hangs up*

Now, I'm pissed off in a million ways. NO ONE talks about my woman like that! But I knew me getting mad was what he wanted so I bite it back and pace around.

He calls back a few minutes later, sounding irritated. First, he said to Mommy, "Remy has a secret you should know and I know it." Obviously, she's all "She's pregnant?! No? It's drugs? Well then what the hell?"

"She thinks she's gay."

"OH THANK GOD.... What? Why would I care?"

"She can't see V again right?"

"Why wouldn't she be allowed to?

""SHE THINKS SHE'S GAY."

"Big deal."

"...."

So step dad is irritated my mom had reacted the same way she would have if he had said I was straight or that I liked smoothies or something. Mom doesn't care one way or another. I love that woman right now.

But hey, my step dad HAS to be a bastard. So he calls and lectures me about choosing to be gay and brings up the whole: "What if V has a sex change, huh?"

"Why would I care? She's still mine."

"If you're bi, it would be better. Guys will love you. Do that."

"Dude. I didn't CHOOSE this."

"Once *insert vulgar situation here* happens, you'll play for the RIGHT team."

"Uh..?"

"When you watch porn, I know you do! You're 17! Is it guys or girls?"

"WHAT THE HELL? Ugh, guys with girls, girls with girls, and guys with guys."

"You're bi. You'll make a man happy one day."

"I don't like labels. I like girls. And guys. And I have no interest in making men happy for a living." I'm not gonna be like my mother. I will NOT serve anyone in my life in sacrifice of my own happiness.

So, happy ending. V is still mine. Step dad is a douche. I feel a little more at ease.

Except I ddn't want to come out like this and sorta hate my step dad.

 

Aaaand now my biological father knows. He said "Okay, I had a feeling about that. I'm gonna go cut my hair now, talk to you later."

Alright, the parents know. So I'm all good. Now, the tricky part. Telling my 17 year old brother.

Actually, I'm not gonna tell him. I've told, like, 4 people in 2 days. I'm sick of it. He can figure it out himself.

 

I'm sorry that you were outed and that your stepdad is a straight up asshole, but it sounds like you have a wonderful mother supporting you!

Even if it wasn't your choice to come out now, congrats for handling it and getting through with it!