I am writing and posting this for someone else because they didnt have it in them to come on here and do it themselves. This is how bad they feel right now. They proof read this before I posted. I came out to Person A. Person A knows that I am gay and is the only person who knows. We didnt have much time to talk but Person A was very supportive. I will get to talk to Person A again in a few days but, until then, I am left alone with my own thoughts. I feel like I dont ever want to talk about my sexuality again. I felt so ashamed when I told Person A that I was gay. Its like Person A knows something about me which they shouldnt know about me. I'm considering going back in to the closet completely. I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm just waiting for the moment when I'm going to break down. I just dont know.
Coming out is really really tough especially at the beginning, I think what you are feeling is the combination of fear and uncertainty. Even though they were supportive it is natural to still be scared, coming out online is one thing but telling someone in real life has almost a no turning back feeling about it, I think what you are feeling is because you want to protect yourself, your mind is saying go back into the closet whilst you still can. It will get easier and the feeling will settle down, I think you should talk to Person A when you get the chance, it will probably help.
I am sorry that I have no words of wisdom to help you out. I hope that words of encouragement can help take away some of the pain. There are a lot of people here that you can lean on anytime you need a friend. You may never actually meet them face to face but they could become some of the best friends you ever make. We are all concerned and want to help. Take advantage of this wonderful group of people!!
It's not easy to accept that you are gay. And it is even harder to come out to others. It took me some time to accept that I am gay and it took even longer for me to tell others but in the end it was and still is worth ever bit worth the hardship. There will be times when you hate being who you are but those are the days that will make the good days just that much better. Hope everything gets better soon for you and we are here for you.
I share your fear.....it's the hardest thing that I ever did in my life. I'm sure you must feel the same. Please don't be ashamed of yourself. I did that for many years and the only thing that I regret about coming out is that I waited for so long. I've been out for about nine months and about two months ago I did start feeling really good. I have finally come to a place where I am no longer ashamed of who I am. You will get there too, it's just going to take some time. I am going tomorrow to talked to a nephew and his wife.....and I am scarred all over again. Why am I scarred? Only because I really love my nephew and I worry what he will think. I will say this, It does get easier with each one. So put your self into a positive frame of mind and think about all the good things you have to offer, I'm sure there are many. Big hug for you Robert.
