The first one was a long distance friend, I wrote her an email during my first epic *yayyy I'm gay deal with it!!!* phase :eusa_doh: I wanted to do the experiment, you know, because she's pretty religious and I wanted to see her reaction. She was actually understanding and sweet about it, but it was clear she thought it was just a phase and one day I was going to find mister right guy. AND I assured her I was gayer than a raimbow and there wasn't nothing she could do about it, AND now if it turns out it was a phase and I end up with a man, it's going to be all shades of awkward :eusa_doh: :eusa_doh: The second one was a coworker, we were discussing about outing and why some people deserve it (according to her :dry. I couldn't help but say "excuse me, I happen to be gay", cue rant about being in the closet, family acceptance etc. Not embarrassed at all, she told me a story about how her boyfriend wasn't being accepted by his family, and then added "oh my God!!! Not that he's gay! Not at all!" Like it was an insult :lol: but whatever, she doesn't matter. The third one was my best friend a month ago, and I tried to explain to her exactly what I was going through. I told her because she saw my tumblr, filled with girls of course, and I thougth I was busted! But it was a total surprise for her. LOL, I keep forgetting that straight people don't usually have a gayradar. Anyway, she did her best to listen to me and give me advice, and I was really glad for that. She knows what it's like to be judged by people beacuse she used to have an eating disorder. But, like everyone else in my life, she is full of prejudice, and not even aware of it. She even told me "I'm okay with homosexuality, I just hate f**s", meaning flamboyant guys, I guess. That's pretty much how my parents see it too, they're ok with gays until they don't act on it in front of them. I think it will take me a lot of time to tell them. My next goal is to talk to my sister. We don't get along really well, mostly because I'm never honest with her, and this could help. But only playing it in my mind makes me so emotional I've been crying for an hour already :icon_redf
I'm sorry for what you're going through. I wish I'd had your courage and self-awareness when I was your age. I've just started coming out and have found that a calm, direct approach works best for me. When I was in the planning stages of coming out, I wrote a long letter and found myself defending things that I though might come up. As it turned out, I removed the inflamatory parts of the letter and decided to address them if and when they came up. They never did! Of the 30 or so people I've told directly, none of them have been anything but understanding and supportive. They apprectiated that I was able to open up to them about my life-long hidden self. I guess what I'm trying to say is that maybe your fears are worse than what the reality may be and that coming out in a non-imflamatory way may set the stage for a smooth transition for everyone. Good luck! 55bna
