A Transgendered Teen

Dear mom and dad,
I know I've mentioned this before and you've said that it's not right,but this is how i truely feel. I will try to answer your questions to the best of my ability.
But just know, read this with an open mmind, that i love you and no matter what happens, my feelings will not change. Just know that i will always be your daughter, even though this change may greatly impact your perseption of me.
I've been dwelling on these feelings for about two years now and i've realized that i should not be female, that i should be genentically male. Your opnion doesn't affect me in a negatively. And sure, being a girl has it's ups and downs but i dont understand them. I feel as though im looking at from a males point of view. I just feel uncomfortable and embarassed as a girl.
I have a purpose, and i believe these feelings are a part of that purpose. Maybe im transgender, maybe im not. It's possible that it's a phase like you've said, mom, but i know in my heart it's not.You've only seen me when im around you, not when im out and about or at school. You just dont know. Maybe im just a tomboy, maybe its more tha that.
I hope you could at least let me take it for a test run. If it's a phase, it should fizzle out and we can leave it at that. But if it's not, i need some support because i dont do it on my own.You have said that you would love me no matter what, even if i turned out lesbian. But as of right now, yeah, i am. But im also a guy.
But even then, i still like girls, i dont trust guys enough to form a romantic relationship with them, as to not confuse you. Yet, i can barely imagine how you feel about this. But same goes to you. You dont know what goes through my head, you dont heven know how hard this is to talk to you abou this.
Well, if you allow me, i can transition enough to pass as male, yet still be female to you.I know you dont want me to bind but im unappy having a chest. I crave a flat chest. I'd be happy to be who i am, instead of who others want me to be. You say you want me to be happy, but you prevent my happiness.
This is hard to say, not knowing your respose, but i would like to use the pronoun he or they, be called Shane instead of Cheyenne and transition my wardrobe and bedroom to accomidate the person that i am as a male. I knowthat's alot to ask,but i would like to try ou the transition to see if it's a phase. This would benefit my treatment and my happiness.
I'm very happy being me, but that's hard to do when i feel im supposed to be a guy. Being female feels like im trapped. I cant be myself if im something im not. I was a people pleaser. Changing myself for others, for you. But now i know that ive got to take control and be my own person. So, you may say alot of things aren't 'me', but no one knows me better than me. This is me, who i really am. I feel bad because i've been too weak to talk abou tthis before.
But i'm strong eneough to know, now, that i can't continue to run from this topic, but i have to face it like the man i want to be. I hope you see the affect this has had on me more than it affects you. i am prepared to make changes and ready for the ridicule that is accessorized with it. I will be happy, though, and that is all that matters.
This is all i want, for you to understand my feelings and help me through it. I want t be happy, to be comfortable in my own skin, but when i have to keep protending for you makes it alot harder to go on. I believe being make is who i really am.
I hope you understand where i come from now nad what has fed my depression. I'll try to answer any questions you have.

 

Thank you very much. My parents responded well but my mom thinks it's a phase because im bisexual and i like fashion. :\ she doesnt support me as much as i would hope