?they all say, have you spoken w/ your cousin?

On Saturday, I had "the" conversation with my dad and my stepmother. My stepmother put it something like this, "You're 24, we've never once seen you excited about a guy, we kind of figured it was something..." and then said, "Have you spoken with K. about this at all?"

I thought that was kind of weird, K. is my cousin and why would I talk to my cousin before my parents? I put it out of my mind as the conversation turned to talk of making my CD.

So then, today I told my aunt in CA, and after assuring me of her support - and of her happiness that I've decided to be true to myself - she said "Have you spoken with K. at all?"

So now I'm thinking, maybe my cousin K. is going through something like this too, or has spoken with THEM about something like this? because I haven't spoken with her about any of it, and everyone seems to think that maybe I have or would.

Of course, when I was still in Courage, I was spouting a lot of homophobic, toe-the-Church-line kinda stuff - so if K. did go through something or come out to family, she might not have felt comfortable coming out to me.

And some of the stuff I said on my FB wall might have hurt her (and I'm gonna be pissed at myself if I hurt her or caused her to think I would love her any less)...

So I've sent K. a note on FB stressing that I'd like to talk with her on the phone at some point, but that it's not serious so not to worry. She'll probably be at least curious, if not worried, though, because aside from when we are both at family things together, we haven't really talked a lot or been close since we were children.

I mean, at family things, there's not a lot of us in our generation - there's four of us in the same age range, if my brother brings his girlfriend then there's five, and eight in our parents generation, our two grandparents, and seven little ones.

So of course at family gatherings, we visit mostly with each other, because we are doing the same kinds of things - going to school, finding jobs, wondering at our friends who are getting married and having kids (we're not even 25, why are so many people getting married already?!?), etc.

I'm a bit nervous myself, about this conversation. But I'm also almost certain it'll go well. I hope I haven't left her feeling stranded if she is or was discovering that she's LGBTQ or something... because last I heard, her sister was also going deep into the possibly religiously nutty land, just like me but in a different denomination... so I really hope that her sister was able to be more supportive for her than I would've been, and I also hope that she never felt like she couldn't tell me. Maybe that's why the distance I've felt from family lately? I also hope she'll forgive me for everything I said and did, especially if any of it hurt her...