So i told my family (mum, dad and sister ) that was i gay that i was starting a realtionship ..i prepared myself for a bad reaction, my mum cried and rolled around the floor for days, my sister isnt really accepting it, my dad been good, he just says make sure its want you want and that if your happy i'm happy My mum is the biggest problem, she finally spoke to me about it a few days ago basically says she thinks its a phase, she'll never accept, she wants me to keep it quiet until christmas :rolle:then if i still feel the same and i want to tell people then she basically wants me to move out :/ its just so horrible i feel so happy when im with the girl that i'm with then i'm like made to feel horrible when i see my mum :icon_sad:
Hi Kara, welcome to EC, you came to the right place. Well I'm very happy you dad is being accepting. Your mom on the other hand....well I just hope and pray that she will come around. Most of the time it just takes a little time to process this news. She may be worried about not getting grand kids, as a lot of mothers do. Hopefully she will feel different by the time Christmas comes around. I'm glad you have a GF to help you through this tough time. Hang in there, it will get better. Hugs.
One thing that may not have crossed your mind, but you're not the only one going through through the "coming out" process. Look at it this way: you are leaving what you know and are comfortable with and moving into a wilderness that you have no clue about and seems like a darkened, incomplete map. This is the same for many people you'll come out to, be they friends, family, co-workers, or even strangers on the bus. Even though media portrayal of the LGBTQ community is much more prevalent, we are still very much a closeted society. That's why you hear so many blatant lies from politicians, religious leaders, and community members who feel that standing up on their soapboxes gives them the inalienable right to defame and ostracize an entire segment of the human population. They honestly fear what they do not know. This has been the case throughout human history and has affected every race, religion, creed, ethic background, educational level, and so on and so forth. Many people simply are unaware or have bought into the lies and misconceptions of what being gay is about and what gay culture actually means. It's much easier to see the drag queens, the butch lesbians, the speedo-wearing, gyrating gay men, the leather daddies, the man-hating dykes and see them all as completely representing the pantheon of homosexual society. If this is who you are, more power to you for being completely comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. What they don't see are the everyday normal, gay couples going about their business, raising families, going to baseball games, attending movies, going to church. Doing things that normal, boring heterosexual couples do without a backward glance. We are an entire rainbow of body types, personalities, quirks, kinks, skin color, preferences, likes and dislikes. How are we remotely differently from anyone else in the world or all of human history? Your family, as do you, will need a period of adjustment as they get accustomed to the idea that you won't have a boyfriend (but will have a girlfriend), that they won't have a son-in-law (but will gain a daughter-in-law), and that you have become a part of society that may potentially lead to you being attacked, marginalized, hateful words hurled at, ignored, or misinterpreted. That is sadly the realization of the situation, but you know what, I am so much more happier being gay and out than I have ever been denying who I was and closeted, so I commend you for taken that step. Educate yourself. Find local LGBTQ centers in your area, or any number of online organizations that help people like you or me. Once you feel up to the task, start volunteering at these places. It will surely open your eyes to the diversity of our community, the many wonderful people contained therein, and the unlimited possibilities that are now open to you. This is a time of transition and it may go beautifully, or it may go belly up, but you seem like a strong, young woman. I think you'll do just fine. The world needs more love and tolerance. Don't let what others say or feel deny you the right to love whomever you want, boy or girl, gay or straight, transgendered or gender neutral. I wish continued good fortune for you.
I'm sorry to hear that your mom and sister didn't take it good but just give them some time. And don't make yourself feel bad about this it happens. Things will get better and every thing will go back to "normal" in time. Just sick in there and we are always here for you if you need us.
JRNagoya, your response to kara was beautiful. kara, first of all I'm just going to congratulate you on having the courage to stand up and tell your family who you are. That was incredibly brave and admirable. I wish you so much luck, and I hope everything gets better soon. But even if it doesn't, it will get better eventually. You just gotta hang in there. Love to you. (*hug*) (&&&)
Thanks for all the great advice and supportive commments i feel so much better that they know, feel a huge weight has been lifted things are slowly getting better my mum is talking to me ..still not accepting but maybe in time my sister has just got worse ..not really saying anything and not willing to talk about it but im happy
Well it's really great that your dad is so cool about it, I'm sure your mom will come round, give her some time. The main thing is, that you're happy, which you are.
