Today at dinner I was outed. I've recently made some really nice friends at the dining hall I eat at. One of their friends is this girl who is bisexual. She is really loud and very out and makes a lot of sexual remarks. She would say all of these hit-on lines to me and I don't know her well enough to know whether she just says that to everyone (she's that kind of person) or whether she was just hitting on me. Anyways I'm not in the least attracted to her! Anyways we were talking and she was like I love pride! I love being gay! I love showing off my gayness! or something to that effect really loudly. People had left the table (though the rest of the dining hall was full) so it was just us. And I said something like, are you trying to say something to me or something (come out to me, whatever)? Did you think I didn't know? And she was like that I'm fabulous? And I, feeling uncomfortable, said yes...and then she was like oh let's reintroduce ourselves I'm (NAME) I'm a bisexual. She clearly was trying to get me to say it. So I said hi I'm (NAME) and I'm a bisexual. I should say she was REALLY REALLY pushing me and I was super tired. I probably wouldn't have said anything but I felt totally guilt tripped. and then she said "I know." And then I was like "how did you know?" granted you could never ever tell - I look completely straight and am in a very straight environment. I'm the femmest bisexual ever haha. And then she yelled "OF COURSE I KNOW YOU'RE BI!! I HAVE THE BEST GADAR!" I don't know how many people know or whether they were paying attention. It was unclear, especially because my back was turned and I didn't want to look and was hoping they thought she was talking about herself (she's out). I am extremely uncomfortable at being out at school. My roommates nor half of my close family know, and that's really important to do before the whole school. Also a bunch of my close friends know, but I have stumbled out of the closet a bit (admitted it to people I'm not close with, sometimes drunk, sometimes because I have my foot in my mouth, etc.) which I've hated myself for, and I've been out to people who I was close with but not anymore, and I'm just too uncomfortable about this. I also have been debating whether I'm bisexual or actually gay, so overall just uncomfortable. I now want to crawl into a hole. :bang:
Oh jeez. I can't stand when people don't think to use discretion. Just because they're out and comfortable with themselves doesn't mean that everyone is. Considering we've all gone through the coming out stuff, you'd think she'd realize that. I hope things work out for you.
