Came out to my family

I am so so sorry to hear that your family are being this way and saying those things. I wish I was there to give you a big huge right now so you know all is going to be ok. But sadly I can't. The thing is though that you did what you needed to do. You told your family who you really are. That is something that so many have a hard time doing. I hope that your family comes around to understanding that it is not a sin and it's not a test. That this is the real you. We are all here for you and will do anything we can to help you. Stay strong for yourself.

 

Hey man. Congratulations for coming out to your family. That's really awesome. But I wish this wasn't the situation with you're family. They should be accepting of you, even if they do think it's a test or phase or whatnot. I like, the guy above, wish I was there to hug you and be a comfort to you.

When I was a Christian, I tried so hard to "correct" myself. I thought that I was predisposed to homosexuality the same way some people are predisposed to alcoholism or chronic lying- of course, I thought that those were effects of The Fall. I tried, I genuinely tried to be straight. (I was a very prayerful person and I had a great group of friends.) But in the end, I just had to realize that I've been living a lie; I was lying to others and myself.

I would just encourage you to stay strong and keep being honest. Try to educate your family about the science behind homosexuality. It is still a growing area of science but there has been some research done. A lot of research done shows that there is a genetic predisposition to homosexuality. You can at least try to show them some of the facts...

I admire your courage in coming out to your family. We're all here for you. Stay strong, stay real.

 

Congrats on coming out!! It took a lot of guts to come out to your family.

I also tried to "correct" myself when I was a christian. I thought that homosexual desires were a sin. But I found out that all I was doing was hurting myself. I was depressed and I was cutting myself. I was trying too hard to be somebody that I was not.

Please... don't go down that road. You have come so far. You know that being gay is not a choice. Being gay is just a part of you, not all of you. I know that God loves everybody. It does not matter if you are gay, straight, or bi.

We are all here for you if you need to talk. I know that it is hard when people don't accept you because of their religion. I've been there, and I'm sure that others on this forum have been there too. Just stay true to yourself and your beliefs. Hopefully they will come around with time.

 

So your family pulled the "GAY IS WRONG CUZ THE BIBLE SAYS SO ASDFGHJKL"?
I'm sorry, but that's an absolute lie: there is NO VERSE in the bible that says "God says gays are wrong and are damned to hell forever". Show me the verse that EXACTLY says this, and then I'll acknowledge it.
Here's why the bible says it is OKAY to be gay:
1) In Genesis, it says that God createdboth man and woman in his LIKENESS and IMAGE. First off, God created both MALE and FEMALE. Obviously, this right here means that God has no gender, but at the same time is a man and a woman. If God was solely a man, then there would only be men. Jesus told us to refer to God as "Father" because he grew up in a patriartical society; if it was a matriartical society, we'd call God "Mother".
Secondly, we are made in his LIKENESS also. There are all sorts of people: straight, gay/lesbian, bi, asexual, pansexual, queer, etc. This means that God doesn't have a sexuality either. If God was solely straight, then LGBTQAP people wouldn't exist.
2) Also in Genesis, God created everything else and said it was good. But when he created humans, he said we were VERY GOOD. God makes NO mistakes: we are the EXACT way we are for a reason. God made us out of love, and loves us NO MATTER WHO WE ARE.

Now, for them pulling the "IT'S A DISEASE AHMAIGAWSH" card, they never too sociology.
There is a CHROMOSOME that determines our sexuality... or so most people assume. Personally, I believe this chromosome exists because WHY would we willingly CHOOSE to live a life of discrimination and unequal rights?

Stay strong bro: you have done NOTHING wrong.
Wishing you the best of luck! *hug*

 

Congratulations on your courage!!! To say being gay is a disease that will send you to hell... smh... that's like saying everyone with cancer is going to hell... well sorry about that religious stuff that happened... It does make it kinda awkward. But here's something I had from a friend of mine...

My friend has a tendency of belittling people with poor arguments, hence the humor. Well, good luck with everything!

 

Not much I can add to the beautiful responses already posted, but I do want to add my support and sympathy...as best as can be done over the internet. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers in the upcoming weeks. It is absolutely ok to be gay and Christian. I am, as are many others on this board and out in the world. Hopefully, in time, your family will remember you're still family and that this is who you are. You're a lot braver than I am, especially coming out at the age you did. Please keep us updated and let us know how you're doing. Be safe.

 

Hey sweetheart (*hug*),

I'm really sorry things went this way with your family. Just, don't let anyone convince you that you should be any different.
Here is a link to a Pflag booklet about homosexuality and religion. (http://community.pflag.org/document.doc?id=494)
Maybe it's not the right time yet to give it to your family, but maybe you can read it yourself, that might be able to help you answering your family if they're harassing you about religion.
Remain calm and confident. I know you may feel very lonely right now, but in a very religious and conservative family, finding acceptance takes time. Remember you're not alone. We're here for you and there are also other places where you can find help and support (school, Pflag chapters, Trevor helpline...).
You're going to be ok (*hug*).
Message me anytime you want if you need to talk.
Take good care of yourself honey (*hug*) Cécile

 

I congratulate your bravery, and I'm very sorry and sad for your family's poor reaction.

Even if your family does not like or accept it, you are you: You are homosexual. You are the exact same person who you have always been, and always will be. Never lose your sense of self, you are not unnatural or wrong, and you know it. You are you!

Stay strong and reach out to others! Everyone here is here for you.

 

You are very brave. I am so sorry you had that experience. Their views are very similar to my parents views. It hurts but you have to find your own accepting circle of people. *hug*. Inbox me if you need to talk

 

(*hug*)
I'm sorry your family reacted the way they did. I wish it turned out differently. But congrats for coming out to them That takes guts, and even though they don't like it, at least they know. Message me, if you want (*hug*)

 

Hey, I'm so sorry to hear about your family's bad reaction! That must've been really hard for you. Hopefully they'll become more tolerant with time. I had kind of a bad experience with Christianity too, encourage your family to look outside their religious bubble - maybe it'll help. Anyways, I hope you feel better, inbox me if you want to talk about it.

 

Wow. I'm so inspired by your bravery. Second the comments above.

 

Your story is one of the most courageous I have heard. I am so proud that you have the integrity to cling to who you are despite what (hopefully?) loving, but very close minded people have to say. Keep in mind that your family is only offering one perspective. It is VERY much possible to be gay and Christian (I'm actually converting to Catholicism and am out to my family, kind of contradictory, I know...)
The way I see it, Christianity is about love and charity to those in lower places than yourself. That is who Jesus always ministered to. The Bible is a book written by men as a response to our experience of God, and if man is not perfect, then how can the Bible? Furthermore, why do you think Jesus never wrote anything down himself? He did not want man to cling to an arbitrary word but more to an ideal, one of love and charity. I just don't see how homosexuality is at odds with that.
You are a strong, wonderful person and a true child of God, just as every last person is on this site, not to mention the rest of the world. If your family can't see that, then they have closed themselves off to what true Christianity is.
Stick to your guns because the most important thing is that YOU know YOU are right. Please feel free to message me if you want to talk.
-Nick

 

Maybe you could try showing them this.
Or this.
Or this and this.

Use your own judgement, but some or all of these may help them to see things from a different perspective.

 

Hi Jim, Hang in there. It's just going to take a little time for them to work through all of this. I'm proud of you for going through with it. I hope your school counselor can help you with a little support. If god makes no mistakes then he intentionally make us this way. I hope they will come around before too long. Hugs for you!

 

Hey Jim

I think we spoke in the chat room a couple of times. I understand what you must be going through. I have an overly evangelical family and was bombarded with religious stuff from grammar school through high school. I went to church twice on Sunday, and Wednesday night. I had youth group, and chapel twice a week in my Baptist school. My family is extremely religious and very anti-gay. With all that I was in extreme denial about being gay and thought I had something wrong with me. Being able to come out to your family is incredible and far more than I was able to do. I'm an adult now and no longer supported by my parents, but I haven't come out to my family because I would get the exact same reaction you did. Only difference is they can't force me to do religious stuff anymore. I find myself becoming more distant from all of them and don't think I could handle the rejection from my brothers, sister or parents.

Hopefully your family will calm down with a little time. If you haven't already check out PFLAG: Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians and Gays. It is essentially what your family needs to educate themselves...you can download some of their literature. They probably will come around with a little time.

 

I want to congratulate you on coming out and I hope you can get through this. I know its easy to blame religion in this situation but hopefully God can get you through it. Your family may have never experienced a situation like this and I not defending them what I mean is hopefully this experience with having a family member that is gay will change their hearts and minds. Just give it time and yes they might keep bothering you about how gay is a sin but trust me it will get better in time. On the positive side they did not kick you out onto the street once they found out.