ok so this is a bit of a late post but i came out to my mum and then to everyone else. i understand some people will think im cowardly in the way i came out but it worked for me! basically i wrote this letter to my mum: To mum you might be woundering why I'ver writen you this letter... well there is something I need to tell you it is not easy for me to say... please don't think of me any different im still me!! I dont really know how to explain this... mum im pansexual... you may be woundering what this is... it is simmallar to bisexual... but it is also a little different... this is the best defintion I have found: Wikipedia definition please dont think this is a conclusion I have come to lightly ive know I wasnt completely straight for many years but refused to let myself believe it... but this past year I have done a lot of thinking regarding the topic. At 1st I thought I was bisexual but after doing a bit of reasearch I worked out that I fit pansexual better. I dont really like the label though I would much rather just say I like people. Which is basicly what pansexuality is. Please dont think this is just a phase because it is not it is who I am, and it has taken me along time to come to terms with this and except it.. There is something else I need to tell you... I have a girlfriend we have been together 6months now... im sorry I havent told you sooner I was scared of your reaction. Please do not think it is because of her that I am this way she did not push me into it she was very caring about it all!! I care about her very very much! I hope you will still love me even now that you know this love your daughter i wrote that and then i left it at home the day i moved to university and sent mum a text telling her to read it. i know it was a cowardly way to come out but i struggle to talk to my mum and im not sure i could have done it any other way. she didnt say anything about the letter for ages then i came home for the weekend and all she said was i read the letter and its ok but she said ok in a very forced way so im not really sure... but she knows now... after telling mum to read the letter i changed my facebook status to in a relationship with fairybread (well i didnt put fairybread i put her name lol) so now the world knows
I dont think its cowardly, I did something similar, you just have to do whatever is right for you. As for your Mum she was probably a little shocked and suprised and so her reaction could have looked forced because she was coming to terms with it, think how long it took you to come to terms with it, well it can take parents a little while too. Do you have email contact with your Mum whilst you are at Uni? If so you could always send her another email or note asking if she has any questions about it. I wouldnt worry im sure it will get better in time. Perhaps you could let her meet your girlfriend, maybe she is curious about her.
only way i keep incontact with mum is text... and her meeting my gf would be kinda difficult i only get to see her like every 6 months...
Congrats! That wasn't cowardly at all!!! It was very very brave and you should be proud of yourself! Coming out by letter is still coming out, and for some people it's the best way to go. And that's a very smart thing to do: come out in the best way for you and your family instead of what you might have heard is the "braver" way to do it. Because this way you're focusing on what is best for your situation and taking control instead of letting it go until you can tell her "the right way." And "the right way" might have caused more negative reactions for your situation so it isn't the wrong way or the cowardly way at all love, it is the brave way.
