So far I'm out to a few friends only, however there is one boy in my closest group of friends that I haven't told yet. I want to tell him so badly, but I haven't. Reason being is because for some reason, I get this feeling that if I tell him, he will either reject me or tell people or do both. I feel this way because he's one of those good looking cool guys that have a bit of a bad boy side. He's a great friend to me, but he's a bit unpredictable in his actions so I can't ever get a good read on him. I remember one time when he thought me and our friend were a little too close to each other and he described it as "weird." Also sometimes when I get a bit too flamboyant he gives me this look. I can't tell if it's disgust or one of those questioning looks. On the other hand, he really hasn't given me a reason not to trust him. I have asked him if he's homophobic and he said no, but he did say he didn't like the way they look at him. We don't ever get into fights and we always manage to have a good laugh whenever we see each other. Also as of late, we've really been connecting more and times that we spend together have become more enjoyable. He's one of my best friends and I feel so guilty for not telling him. It's like how can we be friends if I can't even trust him with this secret? I asked our group of friends what they think and they gave me a big no. I mean they really said it like it was the worst thing I could do. That really affected me. My friends always give me good advice but this time, I'm not so sure I want to follow it. What do you guys think I should do?
I think you should tell him. If you've been friends for a while and can trust him and have never been in a fight with him, why not? He has all ready said he is not homophobic, and why would he lie? Also, just let him know you don't want him to tell anyone. :3
Thanks for the advice. I'm leaning strongly before telling him. The main problem now is that I only see him on Tuesdays when we have church so I'm debating between calling and telling him or waiting until Tuesday.
Always do what's easiest for you (as far as telling him). You should tell him, though - if he ends a friendship over something like that, maybe he wasn't that great of a friend. Good luck x
I've always considered that pretty tough advice, but unfortunately it is the truth. We're all still relatively young and, if you think you could be friends for a long time, I say just get it out of the way now. At least you'll have your answer early and move on, rather than letting it become something of a shadow over your friendship for the long term. At least, that's how it ended up for me. And when I came out and it was pretty much a non-issue, I kicked myself for letting drag on for about 10 years. I don't know your friends, but you sound like you have a pretty good group of them so it looks like you still have them. But my feeling is that you'll probably end up pleasantly surprised at your friend's reaction.
