Need some advice guys. Now that my friends know I have to tell my mum or I won't be completely happy. Now she n my dad moved out of UK once I got into Uni & went to India. The next time I'll be going there is in June once my exams finish. So should I tell her now by e-mail or wait till I get there & then tell her? Even when I'm there I'll be telling her by a letter then...but I'll be physically present in the same place. On the other hand I'm just bursting to tell her now, it's distracting me & I feel guilty whenever I speak to her on the phone. What should I do? Edit: oops realised this is the wrong forum for this thread
If you are ready to tell her, I would say do it while you have the motivation. That way when you do go visit her then it will have had time to sink in. However, if you aren't quite ready, don't feel guilty about waiting to tell her when you are there. This is an important moment in your life, so it is a good idea to do it your own way, at your own pace.
in my very personal opinion e-mail is unpersonal. If you really can't wait until June you could still tell her on the phone or, if you can't speak it out loud (I couldn't do that either), you could still write her a letter as you are going to write a letter anyway.
I would tell her by email now, that way she has time to get used to the idea and come to terms with it a bit (not that im saying she will react badly). If you do it when you are there and she does react badly then it could ruin your holiday which would be a shame, and you wouldnt have the support of your friends around you.
Personally, I would tell her now in some way or another. Either by e-mail or phone. Yes, e-mail is a bit unpersonal but it's quick and she'll have some time to think about it before she answers. Talking on the phone might feel more personal but it can also be scarier (and expensive!). But then you don't have to be nervous about waiting for her answer… Anyway, I think you should tell her now so you don't have to worry about it when you visit her. The biggest problem with e-mails is that they can get lost… That could happen to you if you're unlucky. It's also possible that your mother could choose to ignore your homosexuality and tell you that she never recieved your e-mail. But you know your mother better than we do. You probably know if she'll be okay with getting to know by an e-mail or if she'll find the need to talk to you. Anyway, good luck! I'm sure that you'll be happy that you came out. It won't matter how you did it, just that you did. And if you're ready now, there's no need to wait.
Thanks very much for the advice guys. E-mail being unpersonal was my own worry but the long stuff I have written is pretty personal...it's almost a bit like a life history since being 11 haha. I think I'll go ahead and send the e-mail then, I would like her to get used to the idea before I meet her next. I know how she can get when something doesn't go her way & this distance might really help solve things more easily than the sight of me in front of her as she finds out would be.
I'm not going to say don't send the email but I will let you know after I came out to my parents I have them the letter that I was going to send them. It broke there heart even after I already came out to them face to face. But do what ever you think is right and we will be behind you 100%. Best of luck.
Yup I'll let you guys know how it goes...waiting till Friday so that it's a non-working day meaning mum will have a lot of time to think over everything.
