I will start by saying that my life has always been lonely. I was been hiding in the closet for so long that know I regretted not coming out early in my life. Because once you come out to one person, you will feel so good that you want everyone to know. Well thats how i felt and now that some people know, i feel so good. Before coming out, I always felt so lonely, and I always thought that I was never going to come out, I was too scared to come out. I always dreamed about meeting some gay guys and hanging together at the beach or going clubbing together. In the past I will just go to school and back at the house were I would play video games for hours. I got addicted at playing video games because it made me forget about my problems. Every time I saw an openly gay person, it made me so jealous and sad at the same time. Im happy to say that my life change dramatically in the past year. I wanted to come out to my best friend from work, but i was really nervous. So I came out to her by text message. it was the most awkward thing ever because I din't know what her reply will be. Lucky she replied back saying "Omg I love gay people, but don't worry I will still love you." That made me feel so good. :eusa_danc In the next couple of months i met this guy that change my world completely. How I met him? I met him in at family party, it turns out his parents know my parents. So we hang out a couple of times, he din't tell me he was gay, until the third time we hung out. I knew he was gay because i have a good gadar lol. So I told him that I was gay too and thats when all the fun started. I still see this guy sometimes and I'm dying in love for him. I told him how I felt, and I think I scared him. He doesn't feel the same way. I guess he just wants to be be friends with benefits. I never ever experienced love before, so it is a very confusing feeling. I don't know if I should get over him or keep trying? maybe I can win his heart. This love experience made me completely different. I was ready to start telling people who I really Im. And thats what I been doing at the moment, one by one I'm telling people and hopefully I build enough courage to tell my parents. ( I told my brother already) I know that coming out its really hard, but trust me once your out you will feel 1000 times better. who cares what people think at the end this is your life, and you choose to live it however you want. CAN I GET AN AMEN? LOL
AMEN! Exactly it's your life & your only gonna get it once...so best to stop thinking what people think. And if you keep trying maybe you can win his heart...perhaps he needs some more time? I totally agree about the videogames thing, it was like going into a another world where you could forget about real life. That's what it was for me a few years ago...but I'm so glad I don't need to do that anymore
The only thing I'd question, is your feelings for him. Do you really love him as a person, or do you love the idea of having someone to love? I'm not sure if that makes sense, but at least, it did, in my head What I mean is, when I met the first gay guy, and after we hung out a couple times, I felt like I love him, but later on, I discovered that I only loved the idea of loving someone, and having someone in your life after all these years of perfect loneliness, whoever that one might be, as long as he's gay. I regret it now.
