Ok so here's the story. I'm open with everyone about my sexuality, I'm romantically gay and slightly bi sexually but even then I always prefer guys though wouldn't mind having sex with a girl if she looked good enough. Most people are accepting but for those who aren't I don't care at all. But there is only a single group of people that doesn't know, my family. Well except for one cousin who I came out to without even realizing it. She took it well and everything went on normally like nothing even happened. But much of my family is extremely homophobic, in fact so much that I feel like I have to zip my mouth shut whenever I'm with them about my personal problems or what's really on my mind. So many gay jokes with their actual feelings behind them and negative terms about gays being thrown around left and right. I actually get a little scared sometimes that they might ask me what my opinion is on one of their gay bashing conversations and then it would be all over. I don't have boyfriend and am extremely lonely constantly, I'm 19 and haven't even touched another human being in my life. It's all pretty pathetic really. Ever since school ended, even more doors have been closed on me and without help I don't think I'll ever find anyone. That wall blocking it that can be of help to me is my family. I don't know what I should do here, it's a really tight situation and I don't want to wait till it's just too late. I fear what they will do to me if they knew.
Don't feel pressured into labels. That's a healthy attitude! I'm sorry you find yourself in such a situation. Can I assume you wouldn't hide it then, if asked? If this is true you have already taken an important mental step. No, it really isn't. I'm 22, nearly 23 and I've never had any sexual experience whasoever, more-over besides some dating I've only been in one actual relationship. There's nothing wrong with that, just be true to yourself. Aren't their any support groups in the area? Either way, you're not alone out there, we're all here for you!(&&&) Since I do not know the specifics of your relationship with your family, all I can advise you is to get a job and try to become financially and home-wise independent, at least if you come out then you won't end up on the street. If you have any specific questions feel free to send me a PM. All my love and support go out to you.(*hug*)
I don't feel pressured into labels, I just know myself inside and out and completely explaining myself just ends up sounding like that. I don't think there's a single word for such a specific sexuality. I wouldn't hide it if asked because I would be pushed into a corner with not much else to anyways and I'm a terrible liar. And it all just hurts so much is because it feels like there's just a giant black hole in my heart that can't be filled with anything else on top my life feeling complete otherwise. Yes I know there isn't much anyone else can do besides give some encouragement here but I just had to get it off my chest and this looked like a fine place to do it. Thanks for reading it.
Good. Well technically speaking your sexuality is only to whom you are sexually attracted not romantically, but this is one of the reasons I don't like labels. It is better to admit it when asked otherwise the guilt and discomfort of lying will be a burden. I'm here to help. Keep strong and don't give up!(*hug*)
