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Old 7th May 2012, 08:47 PM   #1
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Default Wow...my sister just came out to ME

So yeah, earlier today my sister asks for me to go on a walk with her, and after a few minutes she turns to me and says "So hey, me and [her female friend] are actually dating now, or rather, we have been for awhile. I know you're pretty accepting so I figured I could trust you." At the time, I was taken completely taken off guard. Part of me is glad that I'm not the only one in the family, and there's someone I can relate with, but the other part is disappointed that now she'll also have to deal with my homophobic dad. Well, I just kinda figured I'd share this rather...unexpected event :P

Well, now I suppose I shouldn't be afraid to come out to her. The only thing really holding me back is that she's rather prone to, er, angry outbursts, and says things she regrets later if she's angry at someone :/

Well anyway, has anyone else had this happen? A sibling or other family member coming out to you out of nowhere? 'Cause honestly, even though now that I look at it it was fairly obvious, I was really surprised. Guess I just lack the mythical 'gaydar'
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Old 7th May 2012, 08:52 PM   #2
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

That good, you can be there for eachother, just tell her when you feel ready
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Old 8th May 2012, 06:25 AM   #3
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

I'd love to have a sister that I could talk to about going through the same things...keep us all updated!
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Old 8th May 2012, 06:48 AM   #4
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

I'm still waiting to find another LGBT member of my family, my family's quite large so there should be someone else.
To be honest, I think your sister deserves to know about you since she was brave enough to tell you. She confided in you the least you can do is return the trust.
You can talk with her about keeping it a secret, but it will be better if you can support each other.
Think about it, what if your father finds out about her and starts to rag on her. Could you really stand by and do nothing?
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Old 8th May 2012, 08:26 AM   #5
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

That's great!

One of my brothers is gay, he came out two years ago. Strangely I can't find the courage to do the same, I have no idea why not!
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Old 8th May 2012, 07:07 PM   #6
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

Hey cool! Though I am a bit confused why you're worried about her being angry and having outbursts. She just told you she's bent, so why not come out to her? Rarely does one find a safer person than another queer person...

Also, lesbodar is a completely different thing!
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Old 9th May 2012, 07:59 AM   #7
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

I had a temper and did have emotional outbursts when I was younger. Now that I look back on that I know it was that I was unhappy because of this big deep dark secret. Now that you know, you can help her with issues that we all face on a daily basis as gay people. Sometimes it just helps to talk. Coming out to her I think would be beneficial to both of you. Are you worried that she might say something to your parents in a fit of rage? I guess that would be a concern because only you should tell them when your good and ready.

Interesting, two gay children in the family. How many siblings do you have? That could be tough for your parents....especially if your dad is homophobic.
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Old 9th May 2012, 09:02 AM   #8
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

Wow, now that is quite interesting! But it is nice, you have someone to talk
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Old 9th May 2012, 09:02 PM   #9
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

Well, you guys are right, I probably should tell her, so I've decided that I will, but I think I'll write it out in a letter. I just don't have the guts to do it face to face I suppose I shouldn't really be worried. She's used things against me before when I've pissed her off, but I don't think she'd use this. And we'd probably end up closer through the experience anyway.

But anyway, yeah. Looks like my brother's the only straight one among us, and he's only my half-brother, so technically ALL of my homophobic dad's kids are gay I feel bad saying this, but I feel it serves him right. Though at least there'll be two of us now, so he'll just have to get over it when the time comes, because I HIGHLY doubt he'll alienate us both. Especially with my mom around.
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Old 9th May 2012, 09:19 PM   #10
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andane View Post
So yeah, earlier today my sister asks for me to go on a walk with her, and after a few minutes she turns to me and says "So hey, me and [her female friend] are actually dating now, or rather, we have been for awhile. I know you're pretty accepting so I figured I could trust you." At the time, I was taken completely taken off guard. Part of me is glad that I'm not the only one in the family, and there's someone I can relate with, but the other part is disappointed that now she'll also have to deal with my homophobic dad. Well, I just kinda figured I'd share this rather...unexpected event :P

Well, now I suppose I shouldn't be afraid to come out to her. The only thing really holding me back is that she's rather prone to, er, angry outbursts, and says things she regrets later if she's angry at someone :/

Well anyway, has anyone else had this happen? A sibling or other family member coming out to you out of nowhere? 'Cause honestly, even though now that I look at it it was fairly obvious, I was really surprised. Guess I just lack the mythical 'gaydar'
I understood what you ment when you said she says things she might regret when shes angry... 'Dont want her outing you during an argument'. Its just a matter of can you fully trust your sister to be mature enough to protect your secret like she trust you. Good Luck... updates please
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Old 9th May 2012, 09:28 PM   #11
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andane View Post
Well, you guys are right, I probably should tell her, so I've decided that I will, but I think I'll write it out in a letter. I just don't have the guts to do it face to face I suppose I shouldn't really be worried. She's used things against me before when I've pissed her off, but I don't think she'd use this. And we'd probably end up closer through the experience anyway.
I do think you will as well. And that's part of why I think you should come out in person. I couldn't imagine anyone safer to come out to than another queer. If you come out in person, I think it would make the moment even more magical. But whatever works for ya!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andane View Post
I feel bad saying this, but I feel it serves him right.
Don't feel bad. It does serve him right. Besides, he could be transformed. In my opinion, it is a rare individual who "hates" a group of people but learns that two people very, very close to him belong to the group he "hates" and yet harbors hurtful attitudes about them.
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Old 10th May 2012, 08:25 PM   #12
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

Well, you have 'dirt' on her too, so you wouldn't have to worry about her holding it over your head :P Besides, it'll only strengthen your relationship
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Old 12th May 2012, 10:21 AM   #13
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

I'd love to have a lesbian sister or a gay brother .
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Old 13th May 2012, 08:13 PM   #14
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Default Re: Wow...my sister just came out to ME

Strangely enough, the same thing happened to me! My sister same out to me and it was like two years later before I finally got the courage to come out to her. Of course, she pretty much knew already. I wouldn't feel pressure to come out to her. Just wait until you are ready. It is nice to have someone to relate to.
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