hey guys I just found this site and thought I could try and get some advice Well towards the end of 2006 I came out to my best friend thinking it would be a good first step. I basically did it in a text MSG. He said he was fine with it and he knew all along and I just confirmed it. I was so relieved and happy. Then a few days latter he told me that he had told another of our friends when I asked him not to. He said he couldn't handle being the only one that knew and told our friend after work. I was so angry, I've never been that angry before or since. They were both telling me they were cool with it. This didnt stop me advoiding them though. A while latter It turned out my best mate had told his girlfriend whom I often txt but never met. That didnt bother me but there is no reason for him to have to tell her. I sort of felt like an accessory, as if having a gay mate was somethig to brag about. I then told another of my close mates and she was fine with it. Then it gets worse in 2007. The friend my mate told then told a mate at his work. They must have thought it funny to txt me saying how it should be Adam and eve not Adam and Steve . Then they said that they knew where i live. By this stage i had a good idea of who it was because i traced he number they rang from back to where my friend worked. I asked my best mate and he told me that it was mymother friend but that my best mate had nothing to do with it. Suffice to say im no longer friends with the so called friend that did that to me. My best mate has told his new girlfriend about me who is now funnily enough my new neighbour and she isnt bothered. My mate often makes comments that play to the fact that he knows ive got a crush on him and i think he must be flattered by it. Now about a week ago i came out to another friend who is lesbian and she is all good. There. Are just four friends left i want to tell personally. Then its my parents turn. My mum has caught me in the closet. She found some pics of a shirtless kian egan from westlife i had printed and saw some websites that i hadnt managed to clear. Despite this she still acts like im straight. Asking me about what i think of passing girls and constantly calling gay people dirty faggots and poofs around me. Anyone got any ideas on how to deal with this? Cheers GS
I think it's totally out of order that so many people have broken your confidence along the line. I really believe that one's sexuality is one's own business, and one's own "news", as it were. I'm sorry that you seem to have little control over such a lot of your own coming out. It really makes me angry. But hopefully it hasn't put you in danger - it is really bad when that happens. But nevertheless, I'm really annoyed for you. But also really glad that you're at the point where you're able to share the information with people. As for your mum, it sounds like she's in denial or something. I mean, it sounds as though the evidence you think she's seen is pretty conclusive. It may be (and I don't know how old you are), that she thinks you're in a phase or something, and that her homophobic comments are her way of discouraging you from pursuing that path (not, as we know, that it's a choice). The fact that she keeps on asking you about girls and things really strongly suggests that she suspects, and is just holding on to denial/hope. I don't really have any advice, although at least she's got some time for the idea to fester, so that when/if you do come out, it's not a total shock. I think that Becky on this site has some useful stuff for parents for when you come out. But good luck!! (and I would avoid acting straight when your mum starts asking about girls, even if you don't feel able to act gay yet).
:tears: eh id go about it after uve gotten distance between u and ur folks... they will probably seek for u to have an intervention...:help:
