So it was 3rd hour, Math Class, today and I came out to a friend. She's really pretty too, haha. Anyway, I was EXTREMELY surprised. I came out over passing notes. Here's how the notes went (Bold is me, normal is her): Hello Nnnn-yellow (; (Bunch of words written terribly that I couldn't read) Write neater. I don't understand French. I said "Why do I feel you don't like me anymore?" ): ...Da fuq, (hername) Why do you think that? Girl, you cray-cray. I dunno you just act dif. around me then wht u used 2. I know. I'm still shakin' from... you know... (friendthatdiedMondaynight). It's taking me a while to be fully happy again. Well you were acting dif. B4 tht happened tho. Define different. How did I act before and how do I act now? You just act dif. & you barely ever talk to me like you used too. Ohhh. Yeah... There's just somebody pissing me off... I think you know who. They make me feel like I have to act differently. Who? I don't know you nvr told me about this. Explain... ): (Dudesnamehere). I feel like he wouldn't be my friend if I didn't act a certain way. Well then why r u friends with him? I miss the old u. Don't change cause of him. ): Awwwe that means so much to me. Ty. I just... I want to get along with everyone so I usually act diff with diff people. It's a serious problem. Well you ought to know you're not going to get along w/ everyone and not everyone's gunna like you. So just don't care who likes you and who don't. As long as ur happy nothing else matters. You just made my day. Ty so much, really. I'll be honest though, (hername). I think I have depression and anxiety. I think (friendsname)'s death pushed me one step back to depression. It'll be fine. He's in a better place and out of this hellhole. If you think that way it will be easy to get over. I think about it every night. It just takes time to get used to the fact that he's gone. Totally. Ik. It's just, somethings bug me that I can't tell to anyone. Why? I just can't. People would hate me. No I won't (myname), I absolutely love you! N/H. Heh heh... Thanks. But I can't. Not now. Probably not till High School. Kids are too immature in (myschoolname). (myname). Really? You can tell me, I'm not @ all and you know that. I'm not ready to tell. Sorry... ): Well if it's bugging you, you have to talk to someone about you. -NEW NOTE- Well... I can tell you a small part of it? Ok I hate when people... boys... touch me. Last hour, (boysname) and (boysname) couldn't keep their hands off me. It's disgusting & uncomfortable. Yeah, me too. Just tell them to get the hell off you. Don't let them do it. Is that all? I tell them that all the time. If they continue it on Tuesday, trust me. I'm asking to move seats. And no. Not at all. But I'm not ready. R U bi or something? Is that it. Cause that's what it's beginning to sound like? ~She was looking at me and giggling at this point, btw we sat next to each other~ No... Not bi. R U gay, then. ......... :I Amg. ~She looked at me, smiling and said outloud, "I knew it!!!"~ XD You are? I knew it! Omg. It's not that big of a deal u can trust me. I won't tell anyone! I promise. Yeah, So. Now you know. I fake crushes on guys. I'm a fake, I guess? Lol. Your the only one who knows. (myname). Your not a fake. But it's really not that big of a deal! ~After that I put the note in my planner and nodded, smiling and staring forward. I was shaking real bad and could NOT stop grinning. Then she glanced at me, giggling and said, "Are you okay?" I just kept smiling and said, "It's so weird." She said, "It's not that big a deal." and grinned. I shook my head and said, "It's so weird." while still grinning my effing face off.~ After that, class was ending so we got up and she kept smiling all big at me and saying "It's not that big a deal. I have so many friends like that anyway. It's fine. " and stuff. How did it feel? Insanely amazing. Freeing. Wonderful. <3 It went SOOOOOO much better than I planned. Sorry if it's long, I wrote it EXACTLY like the note is. I was shaking the entire time too. On the way out of class, she "tazed" me. Then when I was walking BACK to class after lunch she tazed me again. I was all like, "You wanna go? " and she laughed and crap. So funny. :3 Oh and if you don't know, "tazing" is when a person puts one index finger above your left hip, then another index finger above your right hip and squeeze. It feels like a shock and is therefor a taze. XD
Congrats! Thats wonderful I'm glad it went so great and that it made you happy. Coming out can be so liberating, can't it?!