Hi all Around six months ago this forum was extremely supportive when I was questioning my sexuality. I have since then come to terms with it, realizing that I am gay. For me personally, I am completely happy with it, and have accepted it. I'm just glad to know what I want out of life, and that I'm not going to let fear cripple me. So now I am eager to come out, because after 25 years of being unsure, I'm ready to go. However, I want to wait until July, as next month is my cousin's wedding, and I don't want his wedding day to be overshadowed by me coming out. My family is ultra-conservative and close-minded, they would make a big deal, and that simply isn't fair to the future newlyweds. Then at the end of June is my brother's 10-year clean/sober celebration, and I don't want my sexuality to overshadow his amazing accomplishment. Basically I want to wait until the beginning of July, but I am constantly feeling that anticipation/anxiety/dread... kind of like I know I have to give a major public speech, but I'm stuck having to wait. Or another example is that feeling of having to hold back from vomiting, that uncomfortable restrained feeling when all my body wants to do is get it out (two metaphors for you!). I told one friend (who was extremely supportive), but my friends/family are so inter-weaved that I don't want to tell too many more before July. I know it may seem silly to think I've been confused/closeted for 25 years... what's another month? However, it is constantly on my mind as to whether I'll be accepted, rejected, supported, etc. For the first time in my life I feel honest and truthful about my life, and I'm ready to move forward with that feeling of being more authentic. Sorry, I am pretty much using this forum to vent, so thank you for listening. Any tips of passing the longest month ever would be much appreciated. Thanks again for listening (reading)!
It's fine to vent, I'm sort of in the same postion. I have until about September until things calm down in my family. Although I am still completely on the fence about it, but that is my issue. I just try to do things I enjoy, I went fishing the other day and coming out didn't cross my mind once. I say spend time doing things that you enjoy doing, it helps take your mind off it at least.
Mlpguy88 is right. Getting busy is the only way to not think about it so much. Honestly, it's really nice of you to wait until your other family members' things are over to come out. I don't know if I could do that. And I know it's hard, but try and take it into account that you're GOING to come out. It absolutely is going to happen and whatever comes of it it will come. My dad always says "don't borrow trouble"--if you don't know what's going to happen, don't freak out and assume the world is going to end (I have a habit of getting so nervous I make myself freak out when there isn't really anything to freak out about yet...so he always says this to me) Congrats on figuring out your sexuality by the way. That's a good feeling.
mlpguy88 - I'm glad I'm not the only one playing the waiting game. I'm lucky that June is full of activities. I hope things work out for you in September. thedreamwatch - I think for me figuring out my sexuality and admitting it to myself was 90% of the battle. I like your dad's saying, it fits my circumstances well. Truth be told, I don't care so much if some people reject me, that's their problem, not mine. I didn't choose my orientation, and I'm tired of feeling bad for it. I'm actually for once looking forward to the future, which is exciting. Sorry, didn't mean to vent again, just anxiously awaiting July.
No, don't apologize. It's awesome to look ahead and get excited. And anyway, there's no better place to vent about this stuff
You may be able to come out to some of your friends not your family in this one month so you won't impress those family parties and also you'll be satisfied. The other thing you should do is thinking about the best and the worst responses you may receive from your family or maybe friends. You should prepare yourself to any possibility in order not to get shocked or disappointed. Do not scare yourself but just think about it. You've already passed the first and biggest step and finally came out of the closet, it means you can handle it well. I wish you the bests and good luck
thedreamwatch - Thanks for the support! It feels so weird to be excited for coming out, when I have been afraid my entire life. But it's a good kind of weird, if that makes sense. Insomniac - I think there are a few oddball friends I can come out to, but the problem with my social support is they are all interwebbed in some way. So coming out to one is like coming out to all of them. It is annoying to think about now, but it will be convenient come July when I don't feel like having to tell 200+ friends and family about my sexuality. As for the question responses, that is a great idea. I know some people are going to have questions, I probably should have some idea of how I want to answer. Thanks for the advice!
