I have finally admitted to myself that I am gay. I am also 43. It has been a tough road. I fought off urges and when I gave in to them, I told myself it was "just sex" or I was "confused" or "going through a phase." Now I am being true to myself and admitting that I am gay. I am trying to live an authentic life, but my current situation doesn't really allow for it (I am in the military). The closeness of being with another man can't be ignored, but now I am struggling with balancing work and my life.
Congratulations! I totally understand living a life of self denial, unacceptance of ones own true self and the liberating feeling of just coming out to yourself, let alone anyone else. We are all here for you, hope this community can be of help to you
It is amazing what tricks our own brains are capable of pulling off sometimes, isn't it? They can rationalize just about anything if they want to badly enough. But the truth is always the truth weather we see it or not. So congratulations on seeing the truth being able to admit who you are to yourself! It's not always an easy thing to do.
Mike, thank you for your service. I am 36 and only recently came to terms with being gay myself. It has been an emotional roller coaster but at 5 months out I can genuinely say I am proud that I have. The best advice I can give you is to give it time. You will work your way through.
Welcome to EC Mike. Congrats on coming out to yourself. That's the first step! I came out to myself in my late 30's. Hang around here, there are a number of members that came out later in life.
Congrats! I knew I was gay for a long time, but never really accepted it until I was in my early 40's. Once I totally accepted myself as gay, everything started falling right into place. Good luck!
Welcome, Mike! Really glad you've joined here. I can relate because I didn't really come out till my early 30s, and managed to remain blissfully ignorant/in deep denial until my mid 20s. Hope you'll take the time to engage in the conversation here. It's a wonderful and welcoming community and we're glad to have you!
Hey, Mike! Welcome to EC. Admitting to yourself that your gay might just be the hardest part (so far it has been the hardest for me). Hope to hear from you again!
Welcome to EC! You say your current situation doesn't allow for it. Do you foresee a time when that's less of an issue? Are you looking to perhaps move away from the military, or into an area where it's perhaps not such a big deal? Lex
Congrats! Thank-you for your service. Life is truly a journey, I really pray that you eep doing what matters and is true to who you are!
Congrats. I have also just joined EC and at 48 yrs an even later 'admitter' (in the last 12 months). It is weird but good and its I know it will be a long run, but each day I can feel myself accepting it at a deeper and deeper level. In your career and position I admire your decision even more. I am surrounded by liberal and accepting friends in a job where it doesn't matter and its still hard - so how much more courage you must have! Good to know that we are not alone...
Stopping the fight within provides some relief, right? In the last six months, I too have finally accepted to myself that I am gay. I am 34. I nearly got there at 21 and again at 25. But now, I am seeing it through. I told my best friend yesterday and got a wonderful response, but that is as far as I can go right now. A long road ahead but sharing here makes me feel a lot less lonely. I am still not comfortable saying it out loud. I know this will take practice...Really good luck on your journey and I hope you will be pleasantly surprised along the way...
