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Came Out to 2 More People. First Time Verbally.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Custard, Jun 13, 2012.

  1. Custard

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    .... :dry:

    It seemed like the right thing to do, at that moment. I came out to two girls, R & S while we were outside for lunch. (we normally can't go outside but since Friday's our last day...) The reason I came out to them is because we were talking about how ridiculous people are at our school. And that if you're different, no one likes you. They treat you like garbage. I KNEW I had to tell them. I just knew. I felt it inside. It was MEANT to happen. So anyway, here's how it started.

    R said, "When people found out I was Bi... Like, they were cool with it. They actually thought it was amazing." and she smiled.

    I was like, "Really?" and this went on and on... Then the principal called us in. As we were walking back I said, "Guys... I have something to tell you... Only two other people know..." and I paused for a while.

    Saying it aloud the first time is very, very hard. I almost choked and started to cry. Almost. They were so accepting, they gave me hugs, S gave me her number & told me to text her sometime, R gave me a piece of her Hershey bar... XD It seemed wonderful. Then at the last second, just as I was about to step on my bus at the end of the day, I hear my name called like, four times. I turned around and it's R. Not the R I came out to, a different R. They actually have the same name. Anywhoozers, I NEVER have talked to THIS R before. I didn't even know she knew my name.
    I said, "Yeah?" and shes like, "Somebody told me you came out of the closet." But it wasn't rude or anything. She sounded sweet, and her face was concerned. I didn't answer though, I just gave her an odd look, shook my head like I had dust in my hair, and went on my bus. It confused me. And really ticked me off. Within less than 4 hours of telling only 2 people, someone else knows. I felt, betrayed? Not that it's a secret or anything, but it hurt. I want to come out to people myself. Not have the whole school know because of this. I know it will end up changing as it gets passed around. First it'll be "She's gay" then it'll be "She's gay, I heard she kissed that one lesbian in 6th grade." next it'll be, "She's horny for every girl she see's." My schools like that. Which really sucks. Great. I have a feeling a LOT of people will be asking me if I'm gay tomorrow.

    It made me very angry. I know I SHOULDN'T get angry that people know, but... It feels weird. I don't think I'm completely READY for the entire school to ask me if I really am homosexual. Then the jerky guys will call me a slut, faggot, dyke, and the chicks will give me dirty looks and never treat me the same. For some reason, every straight girl thinks that lesbians love every :***: girl they lay their eyes on. :bang:

    Sorry for the rant, this is the Coming Out thread. It's suppose to be positive. And right now I feel like one negative mofo. DX

    SOMETHING POSITIVE~

    ...5 people know? I've only told 4. Perhaps more know because of that other R girl.
    ...Came out verbally.
    ...Wore my lucky shirt today. Maybe that's why I got so confident.
     
  2. Cloudbreaker

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    Congratulations! I still haven't worked up the nerve to tell anyone verbally yet, so I can only imagine how difficult that must have been.

    As for what happens tomorrow, don't worry, be happy. There is no sense worrying about what might not even happen. And if the worst case scenario comes about, and everyone is spreading horrible and unfounded rumors about you, that still doesn't make them true. This type of thing can only affect you if you let it. The best thing to do is probably to inform people what the truth is (assuming you are comfortable with that), then don't bother worrying about weather they believe you or not. You can't force anyone to think anything no matter how much you may want to.

    Keep your head held high so that others find themselves unable to look down on you.

    Hope that helped in some way. Good luck!
     
  3. Ianthe

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    (*hug*)

    That's really hard. Your friends are young, and might not be used to having any big secrets like that. They might not know how to hide that anything big was going on, and might not have been prepared when someone asked them what it was.

    Alternatively, one or the other knows something you don't about the second R, and told her specifically. In this case, it would mean that the second R isn't straight herself. (I actually think this is probably the reason she approached you, regardless of how she found out. She's gay or bi herself, or connected to the community in some other way, such as by having a gay person in her immediate family. Since she isn't a friend of yours, it's the only reason I can think that she would approach you to offer support, which is what she was doing.) It may be that your bisexual friend is aware of more people's sexuality than you are, since she's been out for a while. She may have thought it would be okay for her to tell other LGBT people.

    Finally, it could be that someone overheard you. Given your emotional state, and the fact that you were in public, I think this is likely. You getting all choked up, and then all the hugging, may easily have attracted attention.

    So, don't jump to the conclusion that your two friends immediately went off and spread it all over school. Talk to them and see if you can figure out what happened.

    And Congratulations! Coming out out loud for the first time really is hard, and you should be proud.
     
  4. Adam123

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    custard I just have to say you seem so mature for your age, it's really admirable. and I'm afraid to say that in my experience, school is just like that, people like to gossip. It's likely that you are far, far maturer than your classmates and I suppose my only advice would be keep your head held high, I wish I had your bravery! Good luck girl!
     
  5. Custard

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    This entire post, mainly that bolded paragraph TOTALLY put me at ease. I see where your coming from. The R I came out to must have only told the other R because she's LGBT as well. Makes perfect since. Why else, really, would she come up to me if we don't know each other?

    Everyone else that posted, you really helped as well. Thank you Adam for the compliment and goodluck wish. ♥ Thanks guys, EC always knows how to put my mind at ease. XD