1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I went from completely alone to oddly popular...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by JBH9405, Jun 14, 2012.

  1. JBH9405

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SF Bay Area
    Gender:
    Male
    Hi!

    I wanted to share my coming out story, as it was far more positive than I ever imagined.

    Unlike many people on these boards, I didn't always know I was gay. I acknowledged I was bi, but for some reason I only pursued women in a relationship sense. When I realized I couldn't create an emotional connection with women, I became deeply depressed, which got worse and worse over the years. Then this spring, I discovered it was because I prefer to connect with men intimately (duh!). After a brief internal struggle, I accepted my fate as a gay man, and looked to move forward. So I came out to my family and friends on Sunday, which is a day I assigned to come out to the major players in my life. I literally drove from person to person, told them, had "the talk," and went to the next. Everyone, despite many being ultra conservative, was actually very supportive and happy for me. They could see I was more confident and secure than ever.

    The only awkward one was my dad, who started to compare me to the family dog that was unable to hunt... I guess points for effort. :lol:

    Anyhow, I hated that uncomfortable feeling of "who knows, who doesn't," so the next day I posted a video time capsule I made on YouTube, which is a quick rundown of where I am in my life. There is a part where I clearly talk about my transition of coming out. I thought that would be the best way to alert the bulk of my friends and family, spreading the word. It worked like a charm, and everyone was super supportive.

    In fact, it has almost gone to an extreme, where I gained a popularity of being like some sort of gay celebrity in my circle of friends. People from high school, old friends, new friends, family members all want to hang out, get close to me, and ask questions. I was a little shocked. I've never received so many compliments and kudos in my life! It is weird, I focused so much on the belief that I would lose all my friends, that I never realized I might become closer to them. It is a pretty amazing feeling.

    So I suppose that's my coming out story, it was kind of quick and painless. The whole thing was far more positive than I could have imagined. It's exciting to feel that I have the rest of my life in front of me, completely authentic and on my terms.

    Thanks for reading!
     
  2. Cloudbreaker

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2012
    Messages:
    130
    Likes Received:
    0
    That's a great story. Congratulations!
     
  3. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    That's a really awesome story. Thanks for sharing! :slight_smile:
     
  4. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    What a great story... and what courage it must have taken to simply come out to everyone all at once... and then to put the video up! Congrats!!
     
  5. maxx

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2012
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    San Francisco
    Congratulations! You should be very proud of yourself - and I think doing the video for FB is a great way of letting less close friends know the news!
     
  6. JBH9405

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SF Bay Area
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks everybody! I learned that people decided to choose supporting me over just judging my sexual orientation... which makes me feel like I belong in this world. I know it sounds cheesy... but I never thought I would feel this way. Even my ultra-conservative & religious Grandma supports me!

    I hope my story may give hope to others.
     
  7. Lewis

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2012
    Messages:
    1,477
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Congratulations! I really love the route you took to come out, like you made a decision to change your life for the better and made it almost a mission to just go out and tell everybody. Extremely courageous! I wish I had it in me to do the same!
     
  8. Mercuree

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2012
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western Cape
    I know exactly how you feel! I have the same issue, yet I still am not sure if/how I will connect emotionally with other guys.
    I also worry bout coming out to my dad. He has gay friends and is a very open minded person. But I AM his ONLY son.. Think that would kinda be a bit of a bummer. No lineage to carry on and whatnot (I know I could adopt one day - but its kinda not the same thing, is it?) :icon_wink
     
  9. JBH9405

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SF Bay Area
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks! I did make it my mission. I wanted people to know (but not in an obnoxious way) because I didn't want to waste any more time on friends or family that didn't accept me. I never thought I would have it in me, but it rose up when I wanted to live life on my terms. I believe you have it in you too... it definitely gets easier when you become financially and emotionally independent, you stop caring how others will judge you and just start living life authentically.


    A loving family is a loving family, regardless how the family was formed. If your dad is open-minded and friends with other gays, than he will accept you. It is not your responsibility to carry on the lineage, and you can't live your life based on other people's expectations. Regardless, if you don't want to adopt, you could try surrogacy, then the child will have your genetics and last name.

    As for connecting emotionally with other men... you can only know that by dating. That's how I figured it out. I performed a social experiment where I actively dated both men and women at the same time. I never saw myself in a relationship with a guy until I was sitting across from one on a dinner date, and I realized it was far more exciting than the best sex I ever had with any woman. From there, I discovered I really looked forward to the male dates, and the female dates were sort bland, like I was going through the motions. After the ton of gay bricks hit me, I was able to move forward with my life. Also remember sexuality is fluid, so it is very possible you like both genders, but are just more attracted to a personality type. This is also common.

    Sorry, I didn't mean to get preachy (I'm out for 3 weeks and suddenly I think I'm some sort of expert?!?). :icon_bigg
     
  10. Mercuree

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2012
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Western Cape
    Hehehe! Not preachy at all! You have given me some good perspectives there! Thanks. :grin: