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Old 15th Jun 2012, 02:20 PM   #1
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Orientation: Lesbian
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Location: Ontario Canada
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Default and I did it... XD my family, my friends, Facebook, anyone else who asks... I'm OUT!!

so about two weekends ago, I came out to my mother via Facebook chat...

I told her I needed to talk to her about something important, could I come over to visit for an hour and she said she was too busy with work, could I wait for a week or two.

I thought about it and said, no, if I don't say it I never will.

and then I just said it. and she didn't really react, except to say "oh, how does that effect you being Catholic?"

------------------

fast-forward to this morning. I have one friend trying to encourage me to participate in an campaign against Bill 13 (forcing publicly funded schools to allow GSAs) and I have other friends trying to message me via the wrong FB account (I have one mostly OUT account and one that I've abandoned since I left Courage).

so I went onto my old FB account, thinking, this is stupid. I'll keep the friends who want to stay friends and cut my losses with the rest. so I posted:

Quote:
here's the deal: I'm not a part of Courage anymore. I no longer believe that being gay - having the attractions or acting on my attractions - is something that I need to change, hide, or be ashamed of. I'm tired of fighting such a key part of who I am, especially when all the reputable sources show how futile a fight that is.

if you still want to be my friend, cool. I'm sure many of us can find other things to connect over. If not, then feel free to delete yourself from this FB page. I'm planning on taking it back and using it again soon.

as far as faith goes, I'm not sure about anything anymore, but I do still love my parish and many things about the Catholic faith in general...
the response has been phenomenal. I've had a few e-mailed messages from more conservative Catholic friends offering to pray for me, suggesting I read this book or that book by various ex-gay authors, hoping to change my mind - I've ignored those so far, not sure how to respond or if I even should.

for the most part, I've had family and friends being extremely supportive. a few other Catholics have e-mailed me to come out to me, and to let me know that they support me and are proud of me, and understand how hard it is to reconcile faith and sexuality.

and the best, I've had a few old friends from Courage e-mail me to let me know that they have quit Courage too, and that they too saw how unhealthy ex-gay thinking patterns are, and they are glad to see me healing and they are healing too.

anyway. wow what a day. I never imagined, when I posted that this morning, that it would interfere with my concentration in classes all day long - but it kind of did.

OMG. I'm out of the closet.

so, um... now what?
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Old 15th Jun 2012, 02:27 PM   #2
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Default Re: and I did it... XD my family, my friends, Facebook, anyone else who asks... I'm O

lol

I rememeber when I finally came out I was a little disappointed there wasn't a parade, or a t least cupcakes. But what do you now? Like your life out of the closet. Check out hotties go on dates. Or just enjoy the freedom of being out.

Congrats
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Old 15th Jun 2012, 03:48 PM   #3
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Gender: Transmasculine (FtM)
Orientation: Bisexual/Pansexual, but I usually just say queer.
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Default Re: and I did it... XD my family, my friends, Facebook, anyone else who asks... I'm O

That's awesome!! Congrats!! I'm Glad to hear that you have been having mostly positive reactions. I know that some religious people can be highly homophobic, so it took a lot of guts to come out to them.
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Old 15th Jun 2012, 06:58 PM   #4
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Default Re: and I did it... XD my family, my friends, Facebook, anyone else who asks... I'm O

that's so cool. although i am only out to a couple of people its sorta like, "okay what do i do now?".
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Old 15th Jun 2012, 11:14 PM   #5
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Default Re: and I did it... XD my family, my friends, Facebook, anyone else who asks... I'm O

thanks XD

apparently now I have to bite my tongue and not enter into debate with the people who are warning me of hellfire, or trying to claim that Courage is not about changing orientation (*sarcasm*just about using 12 steps to repress it, and that's totally different, really... and that's why we never heard about NARTH, or JiM retreats, or Exodus conferences, and that's why we never used ex-gay lingo... because we weren't really ex-gay, we were just celibate heterosexuals who primarily experience same sex attraction... *end sarcasm*)

and why am I debating the naysayers and haters when I've overall had such a positive response. 19 likes and 17 comments with only three comments being negative... and who do I discuss with? the negative three. what kind of an idiot am I? I should just delete their condescending comments and go back to crowing at what wonderful family and friends I have.

the PMs have been more half and half, though...

it's hardest when they clearly mean well and love me, but they think I'm going to hell or need extra prayers or am somehow now a bad Catholic... I used to think the same way, I can't judge them for it, I can't even really get angry over it, just upset and hurt...

but why am I focusing on this? why is it I still hear the haters over the ones who love me?
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Old 16th Jun 2012, 01:01 AM   #6
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Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: 14 down, bunch more to go ;)
Location: Soon-to-be-frozen again White North :-(
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Default Re: and I did it... XD my family, my friends, Facebook, anyone else who asks... I'm O

Congrats on taking that first step! I once read something like "Some people will criticize you regardless - might as well have them disagree with who you are rather than some image of someone you're not"... probably not doing the author justice at 4am but I thought it was a neat perspective on the fact no matter what you say or do, some people won't agree. Sounds like overall you have quite a few supporters to help you through this transition. I suppose you could give the negative ones some of their own medicine and answer that you are praying very hard for them that God takes away their bigotry, but that's just my inner sarcasm taking over . The one thing I found once i came out to just a few people, is that while I still worry about the reaction of those still on the "to tell list", the overall fear and worry about coming out in general is pretty much lifted.
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