Out to a few friends

First off just want to say that love this place already and only been on here for a few hours! Love all the coming out stories and just want to say well done!

-I apologise if this is long-

So I've sort of known I was gay since comprehensive school (11yr) which was when I had my first crush on a guy however it wasn't until probably when i was 13 that I properly realised I was gay.

At first I mainly tried to ignore it, not because I was ashamed or anything but mainly because it didn't bother me and wasn't really relevant (didn't care for relationships) I was just happy hanging out with my friends and just being a kid but as I've gotten older it really started bothering me that I couldn't be myself and that I had to hide who I really was. So im 17 now and about 3 months ago I told myself it's time and decided to come out to one of my friends. I picked this person because I knew she would be fine wih it and wouldn't care less, even so I was terrified telling her. We were on a Skype call when I told her but I just couldn't say it so I sent her a text hinting I was gay and let her tell me which made it a bit easier. After that I was sort of happier but also regretted it a little.

The next person was my other closest friend which I actually never told. My friend who I came out too told her without telling me which I was so glad she did! (by the way I had sort of told this friend a year previously when I was drunk at our prom party but then realised and quickly blamed it on the drink so I told her about it thats why she told my other friend).

After I had told these two I felt a lot happier and because I spent most of my time with them I was able to be myself a lot more. I then started to get sort of careless where I was dropping hints to friends (not on purpose) because I started to not care if people knew or not. So the next person I told was my best mate which you might wonder why I didn't tell him first if he's my best mate but the reason is I was worried I might lose him. Well coming out to him was an accident which happened on the bus home and we were discussing relationships and I said something like "I met him the other day" instead of "her" and being the amazing friend he is didn't say nothing and went on as normal. It wasn't until a few days later when one of my friends that I had came out too told me he knew and well since then we have become so close! We are like brothers now and constatly text each other, Skype each other, annoy each other and insult each! We also always talk to each other about our relationships and pretty much tell each other everything now, he always asks If I like anyone and doesn't seem to care when I talk about gay things. Never thought that by simply coming out too him that I'd get this close with him.

So the next major person I came out to was my most recent and current crush which was amazing! We were on Skype and he wanted to know this secret me and my friends were talking about and after first telling him I'm not saying I decided to do it. Well he was just really cool about it, he just said "so you gay? That's cool! ". He even asked who I liked, whether it was him (which at first i said no but later told him which again he was fine about) and since then we've also been quite close! What I didn't know though was that he already knew because a year previously at our prom party when I told my other friend I was gay she went and told him. So when I told him I was gay he sent me a message saying he already knew and that he had known since the prom party which made my night that he had known for a year but didn't make a difference to our friendship!

Ive also told another 4 people but not going to go through them all. The next major person to tell is my mother which I'm totally dreading, its not even that I think so wont be ok with it because I know she will. She asked me a few years ago if I was gay and said that it wouldn't bother her and nothing would change but at the time I wasn't ready and didn't fully realise so I just said no. Since then I just really don't want to tell her. I'm pretty sure she knows anyway but it would be nice to tell her myself, hopefully one day I will!

Anyway sorry if this was long, I kept most of the details out and only left the important stuff so to make it short. I also apologise if there are any spelling or punctuation mistakes but I'm writing this at 3am so I'm really tired! :sleep:

Thanks for reading it anyway!:icon_bigg