I Finally Came Out to My Christian Parents

Hi guys, on May 5th I finally did it. I'd been trying for about a week to give my parents a letter I had written and finally did it. It was awful, but I left the note by the coffee pot downstairs where I knew they would find it and then went to my closet (Haha, I know.) for the night. I was going to post the letter but the copy is on my laptop which I can't use right now.

They read it pretty quickly, I was surprised to hear no tears or yelling. They're southern baptist Christians who have made it very clear that they believe homosexuality is wrong. So obviously I was expecting the worst, but I still did it. I thought they would still love me and wouldn't kick me out, but it would hurt them. I asked in my letter for them to give us some time before confronting me, but they didn't respect that. They both came up the stairs, into my room, into my closet to confront me. I was trying to sleep and they know how I'm a crazy person if you wake me up. :lol:
Anyway, my dad went first and told me that they love me and accept me and support me. Said they wouldn't care if I was a lesbian. My mom said she loves me and they left and went about their day. I was in total shock, I hadn't allowed myself to actually dream about their acceptance. It was weird. This wasn't like them at all. But they did it. They said everything right. And afterwards it was a horribly awkward day, every doorway was a path to Hell. It was mostly me though. The awkwardness is slowly dying down, but it was bad. My mother came into the family room where I was, they had both said I could talk to them when I was ready. I told her I didn't have anything else to say and she asked a few questions. Along the lines of when I knew, why didn't I tell them earlier etc. I had expected alot of weird questions but that was it.
My mom told me the next day that she would always love me for who I am. Wow.

So that was it. And it's still a little awkward to me, but it's much better. I didn't really feel happy about it, but the relief is slowly kicking in. My head is much clearer because before this almost literally all of my thoughts were of my sexuality and coming out. Now I rarely think about it, it's amazing. Big change. I'm surprised I came out this early really, hopefully it was for the better.

They were the only two who's opinion I really cared about since I live with them. I have two brothers but I don't think I'll make a big deal out of it with them or anyone else. I'm just possibly going to change my Facebook interested in when I'm ready to deal with my homophobic aunts/uncles/cousins. Or just start posting LGBT+ related videos when I want to. I'm just waiting a bit, in case it's too early. My dad reads everything I post.

You know maybe I should have seen it coming. They say that parents go through the same stages that we do when we come out to them, but I never related to that since I completely accepted myself as soon as I started questioning. I guess they reacted the same way.

 

Thank you! I sleep in my closet every now and then because it's comfortable. I like small spaces. And the house isn't very private so I needed somewhere to get away from them for the night.

Yay dancing banana parade!!! ^__^

I don't think they knew, but who knows. They're just generally nice people. I'm glad I didn't hurt them like I really really thought I would. I guess family is more important than words to them when it comes down to it.

 

Thank you so much. (*hug*)

 

Aww, thanks guys! (*hug*)
My dad said something last night that sounded relevant.. saying I don't get it, they don't care how I am. (Originally talking about my previous purple hair as we're looking at a picture and I point it out.) It's good to see parents actually loving their kids no matter what, I'm so lucky they're mine. <3

 

@Sherri That sounds awesome! *high fives*
Mine is messy actually, but it has enough room to make a nice, small room. I usually sleep on the couch, but I've always found my closet to be particularly comforting.
And thanks! Yes, they were the ones who really mattered to me. Anyone else's rejection I could take, but theirs would be the hardest since I live with them. It was a risk, but I guess I just wanted things to change. I don't want to go the whole telling people one-by-one approach, I'd rather just be out and that's it. It's scarier once you're facing that decision, but I don't want to drag it on. And I told the most important people, I don't really see anyone else.

@TonyTheBear Hey thanks! I really wish things went this way for your family, I jusr read your story. I hope they come around soon. (*hug*)
Hehe, I'm kind of a natural slob so I don't mind messes. I sleep on a bunch of beanie babies, lol. It's only occasionally, but it works!

 

Thank you all! I wish you all the luck dragon567, maybe your family will too come around some day. It takes people time often.
Aww, congrats on coming out christian262! I'm sorry your mother said hurtful things, she might later understand after having some more time. Unfortunately it takes alot of people alot of time for them to understand just what is going on. *hugs*
I think it will get better too.

---

This is the letter I gave them:

"Mom and Dad,

Firstly, I'm fine. Secondly, please make sure you both read this together,
not alone. This is important. And third, please give us both a little time and space
before confronting me about this. Thank you.

Alright. First off, I love you. I hope you know that. I also hope you know
that I want you both to be happy. And I truly don't want to hurt you.
The thing is, I can't see any way around that possibility. Except continuing
to keep this a secret, which is severely compromising my happiness and
well-being. Obviously alot of things are wrong around here, but this is
a start. I hope you'll understand why I wrote you this letter, because
giving it to you was one of the scariest things I've ever done.
I am in absolutely no way telling you this to hurt you, you mean so much
to me. I am only being honest, when I tell you that I am bisexual.

Now that I've finally told you, I should say that this is not a choice.
It cannot be chosen. It isn't a phase, if it was I would not have
told you. If you think the media turned me this way or something it didn't. I watch
LGBT friendly shows because I can relate to them. Believe me, there is
enough hatred out there for people like me, it isn't some kind of appealing
cult. Anyway, I've told you now. Just so you know - I love myself.
And I am completely fine with who I am. Thanks for reading. -Tiffany
(If you have questions, maybe you would go to pflag.org?)"