Over the moon! Came out to for the first time to my male best friend. :)

This just happened a matter of hours ago, I don't think I've ever felt such joy ever in my whole life this way.

I've known I was gay for a good year, knowing something wasn't right for two or more; but admitting it properly last year (thanks to this site an awful lot from stumbling upon this place!) I refused to do it until after finished up school and such, because I don't think I could've kept it together being out in my school - would've been too hard for me I think.

Its been eating me up an awful lot not being able to feel like I could talk to anyone. Recently I was in a horrible low point about it with other factors. I was lucky to have supportive resources like this website, the medium of music and friends I've met over the internet where I felt a bit safer.

I actually met a friend who knew my brother when he went to school through a gay site, I was mortified when I learned he knew him - but he assured me his secret was safe with him. I've become good friends and it was nice to have someone who was so open and relaxed with their sexuality.

So with my promise that I'd come out after exams, I did it. My male friend of 10+ years, from primary school. We are very close, and it always killed me that I kept this one part of me away from him. He is very open and comfortable, basically a very-very good friend to have. Ups and downs of course but its all good.

So today it was, we arranged to have a me and him day, to have the banter and a catch up. It was great, we cooked food (like the geeks we are), laughed at gossip and the internet. :L

We went to another friends house for tea, and thank god he said to me "sure we'll head on", and we walked alone in a quiet spot; asked me had I anymore gossip, cos he knew I had something interesting to tell him. I was surprised at myself and took the 'now or never' mentality. Hardest thing ever, had to close my eyes and ask him we're good friends no matter what I tell him? (He thought I was about to criticise him cos we do that a lot lol.) but no, I said "[his name], I'm gay." Just like that. Still in SHOCK I managed to say it.

He looks calmy at me and says 'oh ok.' and continues on, I replied "seriously?" in near shock at his passive tone "yea, doesn't change anything" he chuckles. I didn't hug him, I jumped on him and grappled him in an embrace. He apparently walked for a good 20 meters before I decided to get off him. :icon_bigg

Then, we sat down in a nice private spot and just chatted about it and told him how I felt and answered all the questions he had. I would probably be still there if I wasn't ordered him by the father! I can safely say the conversation made us a lot more closer. I told him a lot of things to my surprise, even down to my likes and dislikes in a dude! Haha, it was so easy to talk to him and I really am lucky.

So yes, I am far above cloud nine at the moment. I still can't believe I managed to get such a secret off my chest. It is as they say; a weight off your shoulders. I feel like I could tell anyone now. I never did before, but I understand the concept fully now of gay pride - its such a great feeling to be able to tell someone who you are. You feel like a total boss being able to tell something that has been eating you up to a great friend, who show nothing but love and support.

I would like to thank again the EC community for the stories, support and love that has been around here. I don't think I'd be here if it wasn't for you. I feel like this is a total chapter of being a more happy and confident person.

And to anyone like me who is stuck in a small rural town in a country like Ireland; you are not alone. It took me a long long time before I was ready and comfortable to tell someone; I sound like I've been doing for years when I'm only 'out' a few hours; but oh my god its amazing when the time is right.

I just thought I'd share my story, because I am not far from being literally over the moon with joy.

Thank you. (Sorry for wall of text, didn't mean it to get so ramblely haha!)

 

Thank you all for the replies.

I've been on a proper high on life mode the passed 24+ hours. I've never felt as chirpy and full of life haha. I still am in shock of how it all went - even more so that I actually did it. To think that I said '[Name of friend], I'm gay.' It is completely surreal and I have been laughing at it all day. Its such a feeling.

I can see that it will be a lot easier to come out to others, and I've been tempted to already; but I'm going to leave it for awhile and tackle getting to coming out to one of my brothers first - but that will take a while. But all in its own good time - because its definitely worth it. I'll relish the emotion and feeling from the moment I came out, forever I think haha.