Quick update- I have now lost ALL contact with my other life and am stuck with my straight life. This is obviously not what i wanted. I am trying to make the best of it while i can. I have a job now to get money for just in case my parents decide to cut me off financially. there has also been major changes to my college next year as i will be stuck near my home for one more semester before i can begin my second and final life at my new college. I have now given up about talking about girls now as i see that is me trying to be something i am not. my attraction to my best friend is going down and i am going to try to move on come college. Overall the past few months have been building blocks for my new life. I am starting to see myself with a boyfriend for the rest of my life now. I do acknowledge with my family getting more religious that I will probably not have a good relationship post coming out. That is why I am coming out when I find a boyfriend. I think me coming out alone will leave me vulnerable again and susceptible to going back into the closet. i think this is a high risk plan, but honestly i see no other way. I CAN NOT see myself with a wife anymore. i think at this stage there is no going back. in that sense i am optimistic that I will soon find true happiness and be content with life and not feel like im on a emotional roller coaster.
I'm glad you're advancing on the path of figuring out who you are and what you want in life. I also think it's a good idea that you're waiting to have a bf before you officially come out. But just remember, just because someone is religious does not mean they're homophobic. You might be pleasantly surprised at their reaction
You sound a little frantic at the moment, just take some deep breaths. But congrats on figuring out what you want, that is a big step. (*hug*)
This sounded like a diary of some sort which leads to something bad happening later. It just gave off a very eery vibe D: but I wish you good luck
it's from a blog that i have where i sometimes blogged where i am in my process. Good news: laid down the foundation for when I come out. Pretty sure my dad thinks im gay now. it's just not confirmed by me yet out of financial fears. All in all, i'm excited for my future now and what it has in store.
