Ok! Came out to My parents, Bad Results :(

I'm really sorry to hear that.

Judging by your avatar, you're old enough so they won't try desperate methods (conversion therapy,...). I think they will come around given enough time (at least your mother will).

Meanwhile, I think you should talk with your sister and educate her, convince her that there is nothing wrong with being gay.

 

You look 20ish.

I can understand why your dad and mom think that way about the internet, but even your
sister? Wow, I thought the younger generation should know better...

I hope everything will turn out alright for you.

 

My parents also believed that I had turned gay by watching porn online and by e-mailing gay people. What?! I hadn't seen porn in my life!! Nor had I ever kissed a girl or anything. But I knew knew knew I was gay. It was just so obvious. They still believe that one of my friends who they never liked was a secret lesbian and seduced me and made me gay. The idea makes me laugh when I'm alone because it's so ridiculous and preposterous, but makes me angry as well.

 

Sorry to hear about the less than desirable reactions from your parents. But at the same time, congradulations! Also, in my opinion, the situation with your parents can only get better from here on out because at least the air is cleared.

 

You did the right thing man! You are being honest with yourself about who you are, even in the face of opposition from people you love, and that takes bravery. So congratulatulations for making this step.

I'm sorry to hear your parents didn't take it so well. A lot of homophobia stems from ignorance - as has been mentioned, some people have ridiculous notions that you can turn gay, or choose to be. I think that maybe in time your parents will come round once they learn a bit more about it and see that you're still the same person. I'd echo the advice to try and seek support from your sister - although she has a negative opinion right now, she sounds like she'll listen to you, maybe she'll come round.

Whatever happens, you can't control how people react, but you can control whether you live true to who you are and that is what you're doing, that should be admired

 

wow i know im responding late to this and sorry if this offends you but your dad is an asshole. If what you said he said is true he is a piece of shit to me. he said think about all the jokes "Ill have to go through" what a selfish asshole im sick of parents bitching about how much they have to go through now that there kids is gay it makes me angry. No how about what the fuck we will have to go through. I have been known to get a temper so let me bring it down from a 10 to a 5. on a lighter note im very proud of you stay strong and if your family starts giving you the could shoulder i know it will be hard but dont give up. DONT you dare let me hear anything about you committing suicide or doing anything crazy ok. Becuase its one thing for strangers to be against you but i know from experience that when you have to go against your own family and live with them at the same time your emotions and some thoughts can go to some dark places. Just always know that there is a support group here and message me if you EVER have a problem.

 

np already been where your at sorta passed it and happy. Lots of times people in our situations commit suicide. Then people say well they were weak or crybabys no. When your young sometimes you cannot rationalize or think on a deeper and more mature level. Often times you go to your family for that rationalization. However in our situations family is noth there for us and we rationalize ourselves. Im thinking your still a teen but anyway once you a little older and can understand the world and its inner workings to a more complex level you will know that nothing you did was wrong. You will also no that suicide is never the best option. Suicide is for people with no options and you have options and you have a way out here in this forum. Ty for the invite i will come to you if I have such thoughts just as you have PROMISED me you will come to me if you have them.

 

Hi xramonx,

I think that you are so strong to have dealt with your parents reactions!! I haven't yet come out to my parents yet but wanted to congratulate you! I know how hard it must have been, hopefully your parents will come around and it is a good thing they didn't kick you out or do anything major. And I'm also glad that you are proud that you did it! No one should have to hide who they really are.

 

Sorry to hear about the reactions xramonx.

I've been through pretty much the same thing the past few months so I can totally relate. I think it's great that you said you don't regret telling them so it's relieved you of this "Secret". So very well done on that, it's really the hardest thing to do isn't it.

Now that you know their reactions the best thing you can do is just believe in the good in yourself & know that you've done nothing wrong at all. It's the lack of awareness & education that has led to their reactions. As everything still very recent for your parents it's probably too early to start "educating" them as such. But hopefully with time they will become calmer.

It's definitely very hard seeing our closest people act in that way, but it's worth it as your no longer living a lie in front of them

Always use EC to vent out your thoughts & frustrations, we're all here to support you!

 

Sorry to hear that. I think once the initial shock is done they will be more accepting. You are still their son, and you are still the same person. You only told them something about you they did not know. You didn't change.

 

I think some thing you might want to try is sit down with them and watch prayers for bobby just a thought

 

I'm sorry to hear about your familys reaction, it must be really tough. It seems like your sister and your mom are worried about you, while your dad is worried about his self. I think a lot of men would do that, there is just something about what others think that really gets to fathers. But with time he may come to accept you and love you for who you really are. There are worse things that you could be doing! Just continue to be yourself and they will love you

 

Oh my goodness, you are just precious! I'm in tears reading your story, you don't know your own courage, i'm just amazed. I feel ashamed because i know my mum and dad would completely accept me and not care at all, and i still can't tell them... Even my brother, who i spend every day with... It terrifies me to think about telling my family, and they wouldn't even care.

Your circumstances are so difficult, and your family so socially constricting, what you have done is the purest act of bravery i can imagine. You're an inspiration!!!

 

I agree with the general consensus here - you have done the right thing and it will get easier.

You knew before you said anything that it wasn't going to be easy - religious people are not the easiest to convince that they are WRONG, but your Dad was a bit harsh.

You could be charitable and think he was just pressuring you into re-evaluating the position you have taken.

You are young - maybe he feels you lack the experience in matters of love to have come to a definitive modus vivendi and thinks you need to think long and hard before you commit to following your heart.

Also they will be worried - it's natural for parents to worry, it's what they're for. You just have to let them know that you are being careful, THOUGHTFUL, and that you are sure that this is what you want. If they detect any shadow of doubt in you, they will pick at it and make you miserable - not intentionally - but they will want to test your resolve.

Can I also suggest that you try to get out and meet real people - online friendships are fine, but nothing beats having real friends you can talk to.

Good luck - I wish I had been as brave as you when I was 19!