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look in the eyes while you pull the trigger?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by toremi, Jul 9, 2012.

  1. toremi

    toremi Guest

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
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    No literal of course but.

    I think I am finally going to do what I have been stating, even on here, I would never do. Problem is I am not certain the best way to do it... what is fair or what is right.

    See whats happened is, I am still as confused as ever and I don't wanna give myself a label because of it.... however I was watching a show that got me to thinking. When I was a teen, before my first serious girlfriend, I was scared to date. I was terrified to date girls incase I was gay and terrified to date guys in general. This never really bothered me or weighed on me until I was watching a show recently.

    In the show, there is a teenager who is going through his discovery and experiences things as he should and I realized something. I have not allowed myself to fully experience either world -- gay or straight. I've missed out on so many things in life because I am afraid what am or what I am not. I am still confused and don't know which direction to go but I need to make some sort of change.

    I have decided to tell my mother.

    I just don't know how to. My family all lives provinces away so... I was planning on flying her out in september when she finishes work and telling her then. Only problem is this will be her first time back to Ontario since she left as a little girl when her father died. I don't wanna ruin her trip. I don't want her trip to be about that.

    So that leaves two methods.... phone/skype or letter.

    I don't know if I can look at her when I tell her... is that fair to her? I think she atleast deserves some sort of explanation in person. It is probably not a good idea to tell her via phone.... and probably even worse by letter.

    I wanna do it sooner than later.... I am scared and lost and feel like a child even though I am a young professional.

    Any suggestions help