Hi all this is from my thread in the support forum! I hope it helps someone! Yesterday I came out to my wife! It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my entire life! I had green ants biting in my guts all day and she new something was wrong! Saturday night we sat down, I held her hand and said. I have something I need to tell you! It's something that has been with me since I was 12! It's something that I can no longer keep a secret! It's something I can no longer hide! I love you! I never wanted to hurt you! I'm gay! There were lots of tears and crying, raw emotions! Sadness an some laughter! We talked nearly all night about it an our future! She had 1000 questions! I tried to answer them all as openly an truthfull as possible! It was the worst moment in my life but at the same time I finally crawelled out of that dark deep tunnel! Took a big deap breath & and let it all go! Our road we our travelling on has an unknown destination or path! We are packing for the return trip home to tell our two adult teen kids! More green ants biting at the guts! I believe my son is also gay! He's 20 never had a girlfriend and is regularly checking out the guys! Pretty girls with short skirts don't even get a look from him! I could be wrong but his mum agrees an said she's always suspected it! I beg I haven't done to him what my father did to me! Bring a child up in a homophobic environment! What a twisted web! What a mess! chissouth53, your comment is right but wrong! It is possible to have gone through my life but have no physical or sexual attraction to women! I guess while I was in the closet the label bi fitted! But now out, I am proud to call myself Gay!! Thanks all but especially EC! Who ever started this is a life saver!
wow congratulations!! I can't even imagine how hard it was, but it must feel great afterwards. I love seeing posts like this. And your son sounds very to the situation I'm in. I'm 19, never really had a GF before, and I swear my mom has caught me checking out other guys before... so she has her suspicions.
You are one brave person. I just read about a few of the others who have recently come out after marriage often with kids. I don't know how you guys do it. Very hard thing to do because it is not just telling the wife and you are done. It's the kids, the in-laws, parents, etc. It's a very big thing, a potential can of worms. You guy guys just go for it out of sheer honesty and integrity, and a search for happiness. I think we are moving into a new era, and this era rejects the shame and inferiority stigma attached to being gay. If enough people do what you guys have done, then there won't be any reason for guys to be in the closet, and marry in an attempt to either be straight, or put up a front of being straight. Very inspiring to see these threads. Cheers to your new freedom!!!
This is what real courage is. I'm glad things went well. Congrats dude and good luck with the others!
Congratulations for coming out to your wife (*hug*). Doing this takes an incredible amount of courage and I'm always very admiring of Ec's member who are taking that step. Here is a link to a Pflag booklet you may want to give to your wife. I gave it a few years ago to a good friend of mine who was going through the same thing your wife is facing now, and she told me it helped her a lot. I hope this could be helpful to your wife too. http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/Publications/Straight_Spouse.pdf Take care of yourself (*hug*) Cécile
This is such an inspiring post! This is the most couragous thing, you should be so proud of telling her that! Reading this just gives other people hope and admiration for you x
A big thanks for all your kind words!! Today was another huge day! Telling the kids was the hardest! My son took the news real bad for most of the day, but tonight gave me a big cuddle! He tried to tell us something several times but couldn't get it out! In time I hope he says what's on his mind! Than came my parents and my inlaws than the 6 brothers & sisters on both sides of the family and their partners! Than all of our close friends! A lot of shock! Stunned numb people but all supportive! Kyle1, don't repeat my life! Be who you were created to be! It will never go away! It doesn't matter what you do or what you try! Be who you were ment to be! Eleanor Rigby thanks for the link! I have given it to my wife already!
Perfect news! Congratulations!! :eusa_clap Speaking to the point of courage that some of the posters have made. Yes, it takes a great deal of courage to come out after so many years and disrupting the lives of all the people we love! But "courageous" is an extremely hard adjective to attribute to ourselves (I guess I'm speaking just for me, but I think the others will agree) because we've felt like such cowards for soooooooooooooo long! I'm not saying I don't accept being called courageous, because it really was a courageous act, it's just hard to reconcile with how we've felt for so long. It feels great though! But mixed in with the "I'm courageous" pat on our own backs, though, are "I've been an asshole", "I've been selfish", "I'm being selfish", "I've robbed my wife of so much", and the list goes on. The thoughts that must prevail, however, are, "I'm finally myself", "my family can finally know ME", "my wife can finally be with someone who can be there in all the ways she deserves", "I can finally find someone who can be there in all the ways I need", and this list goes on too. BB20 (sorry, easier to type), these few days have been some of the hardest of your life, and your family's. The road will get smoother for all of you, but it will have its twists and turns, peaks and valleys. But at least you're finally on that road! Were all of your disclosures to family face-to-face? That seems like a lot to accomplish in a day! 55
Hi all I want to tell any one for what ever reason is about to come out but just can't get over the edge to do it! Please I beg you go there! Take that step! Walk through! Pull yourself up! Whatever? It's difficult but it is the most euphoric, liberating, freeing, honest feeling you will ever have!!! I know every situation is different but I struggled from the age of 12 to 43!! Although the last few days has been a shock to a lot of people I've had only support an love from all! A couple of people actually said "Is that all! we thought it was something bad like cancer!!!" It's something I should have done a long time ago an saved a lot of heartache!! 55: yes it was a lot to accomplish in a day but I chose to tell all my family the same day, I didn't want anyone to find out of Facebook! So a long day of phone calls! Exhausting? Yes? Numbing? Yes, but worth it! Not for everyone but it was for me! To finish I want to say! I'm Not delusional! I know it's still a long road ahead with many twists, turns & bumps but if through my story I can convince or inspire just one person to be the person they were born to be than I'll be even happier!!! Thanks EC
I'm happy things are working out great for you. So how's your son doing? Has he talked with you about that yet? Oh, and be sure to keep us updated with everything, OK? We'd love to hear more.
I am absolutely inspired by the amount of courage and bravery you have. But since you have already done it, you have probably realized that its all for the better. You are being fair to your wife. You are being fair to yourself. You have shown how much you care for your wife and how much you love her. You have also shown that you love yourself - which is incredibly important. Some people sacrifice so much for others that they forget to love themselves. Its great that you have done good to both your wife and yourself. Best of luck with the journey we call life. I know that everyone will be much happier.
That's amazing! So much courage for all of that family on one day, I'd never be able to do that. Good luck with the rest of it! Congrats too
