Well, I kinda told one of my friends I was gay... I ended up tellin her via text, but half way through, I called her.... I was hoping for a much better response from her though... She kept insisting that I was jokin and kept sayin it was ridiculous and all. She was kinda mad about it and she was tellin me to just not be gay. She implied that I just woke up one morning and decided to be gay, but I explaineed to her that it's literally been somethin i've been goin through since I was a kid. But she kept insisting that I liked girls and was overall tellin me to just not be gay. She was tellin me to date our other female ffriend or to date her, but we know it's not that easy. I was sad enough that she hadn't taken it well... but I asked her if we'd still be friends, and after awhile she said she didn't know... but eventually she said we'd still be friends and all, but it still hurt... She says she's gonna pray for me and all. and she's actually goin to church camp for the week and wont have her phone on her, so she, me, and another guy friend stayed up on the phone talkin until a few minutes ago. During the three-way conversation though, we just talked normal and goofed off as if nothing happened, but my stomach was still churning... In the end, she said she hopes I'll change my mind about it and said it was probably just a phase... Now, I'm for the most part gay, but there's still been the occasional confusion and the occasional 'what if i'm not', but after this, I just don't know how to feel... My brains scrambled now, and I'm not sure of anything now! I know I like guys, and now I feel like I have a slight attraction to girls coming up... I dunno where the answers lie anymore! It's like, I wanna know what I am and if it's okay to be what I am, but I just don't know where the answers are. I looked in my heart, I looked in my head, I looked to God, and I looked to my friends, but I've gotten different answers from all the sources... I just feel like I'm losing my mind now! Anyways, sorry about rambling, but that's how it is. Advice and help would be obliged, but please refrain from sayin anything against my friend, 'cause she's still my friend.
FFIX is my favorite game! Anyway, since you mentioned a three-way call, does the guy know? What is his opinion? She can't just pray for you to change. I'm gonna guess she's your age, so maybe she has too little knowledge of the matter. You should tell her, make her understand. It seems that she thinks your sexuality is a sin. That's why she hesitated when you asked her if you could still be friends. Now, you could be gay, or bi, but that doesn't matter. You don't need to know to fall in love. Just go with your life and do what feels right to you. And of course, it's OK to be what you are. 16 is still young and this thing is confusing, but as you go on with your life, things will be much easier to understand, and friends will be more accepting.
Yay, fellow FF9 fan! ^^ Melodies of Life is on repeat right now! Ahem, but yeah the guy knows, but he's kinda the same, just less upfront about it. I mean, he thinks I'm bi or that I'm just forcing it on myself. And the girl is kinda religious, but not THAT religious ya know what I mean? She takes religious matters real seriously I guess is what i'm sayin. But when I actually called her and was talkin about it, the guy wasn't on the phone yet, I was just talkin to her. I mean, at the end, she said she'd still be there and all, but I still think she meant it like to help me "get through the phase" Thanks for that, because at this point, I think that's the best I can do, just go through life and see who I end up with. My appetite for a love interest is kinda dead now anyways, but thanks for that. I'm gonna jot this quote down in my motivational quotes list ^^
Yeah, I insanely love the FFIX OST, not just that one song! I've listened to the whole OST more than a thousand times! xD I think they just need some time. They are young and the young people are very open-minded. They'll come around.
I love Final Fantasy ^(^_^)^ Anywho, It seems like she is just in shock at the moment. She didnt seems to handle it negatively really, just very doubtful. I'm sure over time she will realize that your not joking nor going through a phase. I'm sure it will be fine in time. As for your confusion. Everyone can find the attraction, or appeal, of both sexes. Most people arent literally disgusted by women or men. Your sexually orientation is not a matter of who you find appealing or attractive. Its about who you find SEXUALLY attractive. For example, there are many of successful gay designers, hairstylist, and make up artist, and they all know what makes a woman attractive and sexy. They are just not sexually drawn to them. So you can find both sexes hot or attractive, though if dont want to do anything with them sexually or be in a relationship with them then they dont fall under your orientation. You're only straight if you want to be with women, not just can find them attractive. You're only bi if you find yourself wanting to be with both sexes. Attractive and Sexually Attraction are two totally different things.
Yaaay! ^^ I'm glad I'm getting advice from fellow final fantasy fans!! And wow, I never thought about it in that way... Honestly, for awhile I was scared that maybe I was forcing the gay thing on myself and maybe I was neglecting any feelings that I thought were hetero feelings. Because I actually DO think that girls are pretty and all and I like helping my female friends with what kinda stuff looks good on them and all because I kinda have an eye for that. Like even later that night while me and her were talkin to our other friend, she asked what nail polish she should put on: red or orange. I told her the orange, she put it on, and wouldn't you know it turned out better than the red would have. Point is, girls are pretty to me, but it's like thinking about the sex with girls, it's not something I feel into. But whether or not she's in denial about it, I'm not certain. I WISH she was JUST in denial about it, but honestly I think she was lookin at it from more of a religious view... But either way, thanks for givin me that perspective to look at things, it DOES make me feel a bit better. Thanks man
I know this is a bit of a side ball, but is there any chance she was crushing on you? Its just your comment about her being really mad and then suggesting you date a friend or her, well it came across to me like maybe she might be...
Yeah, I considered that possibility too, but I wouldn't really count on it too much. I mean, it COULD be possible. We kinda talk about that kinda stuff every now and then, but I don't think I come off as her type. I'm thinkin she was implying that I oughta date a girl and that'll automatically make me straight, which I'd been tryin up until about a year ago (which is when I started acceptin this whole thing myself). But of course, at this point I'm ready to assume all possibilities... I was kinda shocked myself cuz I was expecting a better response....
Okay, you live in Georgia. Is it rural or more like city life? If it's rural, is it possible that you're just the only gay person she's ever had an opportunity to actually know and be close friends with? I live in Georgia as well, and when I was in school, a lot of my peers weren't exactly haters, but they didn't know how to handle it. We didn't have many gays at my school, and so gay people were just not something we encountered. When there were gays, they were the trashy trailer park lesbians or the obnoxious queeny gay guys, so they stuck out like sore thumbs and people avoided them. Just having "normal" gay people didn't happen. I can still remember when I found out one of my friends was bisexual. I was quite like "o_o Really? He is?" and I was doubtful at first, but it really started me thinking about homosexuality in general. I had shunned Christianity but still took religion quite seriously at that age, and so I just thought over it for a while. I came to the conclusion that it didn't change him. He was still the same guy I knew; just now I knew something else about him. There was no difference. It was the first big step to opening up my eyes about homosexuality. I think that, given time, your friend could end up being quite accepting. Like others said, she was doubtful, but not hateful. Be willing to educate her about it, and don't hesitate to correct her when she's wrong about something. Homosexuality is not a choice. It isn't something you woke up and chose to be. It is a perfectly valid sexuality, and there is nothing wrong with being what you are. Don't let them make you doubt yourself (*hug*). Good luck with all of it!
Exactly how it is at my school actually. I haven't actually met a gay guy or lesbian girl at my school that wasn't obnoxious. And I'm trying not to doubt myself, but now I just can't STOP doubting. My head's caught in a cloud of confusion. But the one thing I DO know for certain is that I have a strong attraction to males; emotionally and, as far as I know, sexually. My feelings for girls on the other hand, that's where I'm gettin doubtful. It's like always teeter-tottering. I don't feel attracted to em most the time, and sometimes I'll be at the point where I'm glad I'm not attracted and don't even WANT to be with a girl. But then, something might come up and change my perspective on attraction to girls. It's kinda stupid, but like if I see a romance movie or show or something like that with straight couples gettin together, it kinda makes me feel somethin for girls, but it's temporary. I dunno, I think I'm probably over thinking things too much... But thanks to all who has replied so far!
It sounds like when I see other people going jogging or read a book and there's a character who is a jogger and he describes how cleansing and awesome it feels, and then I try jogging, and I just feel like keeling over dead :lol:. (I'm semi-kidding -- I did eventually get into jogging!) However, I don't think your situation is going to work like that . If you're not feeling it except when you see some highly idealized situation involving a guy and a girl, you aren't feeling it. I'd be willing to bet that what you're more vibing with when you see romance movies like that is the affection and how awesome the relationship looks. You can absolutely have that with a guy, though! IMO, you are pretty much set. You know you're interested in guys, so go for guys. If a girl comes along and strikes your fancy, go for her. You don't need to have everything 100% answered right now. You're 16. But if you've figured out that you're at least into guys and you can go for that, do it! It's a huge thing to be able to accept yourself. Start with that.
Thanks a bundle yo! I guess just taking a blow like this just kicked me down and I just been feelin a little depressed... I think I'll be able to fix my confusion and doubt and get that settled back down, but I think it's gonna take me a lot more time to get over my friend not taking it well... I been tryin to slowly come out to my friend circle (including me, there's 5 of us). So far I've told 2 of em, and I was hoping for better results, but so far they haven't treated me differently, so I can be glad about that. Thanks for hearin me vent! ^^ (*hug*)
