Hi EC folks- Im in need of some info/stories/exp with this one. My guy, wanted me to spend the night with him last night and wake up next to him with his folks home. His parents/family doesn't know about us or him being gay. He is scared and doesn't know what to do or how to tell them. Personally, I didn't think me waking up there was the best way- but it's not my choice on how he comes out. He also has kids (13 and 10) and I'm sure he's thinking "I can't be gay bc I have kids, I can't come out because of them." He is no longer married- so that's not an issue... What have some of you done in this situation? He's 36 and I'd be his first boyfriend- but I think he is finally coming to terms with who he is but is scared shit less. I'd like to see us together and not have to hide any more-- any info help etc is greatly appreciated. I dont want him to slam the closet door again.... Thanks
What do you mean "wake up next to him with his folks home"? His family caught you two sleeping together? Can you guess if his parents are homophobic? I know it's a long shot, are his kids? I think the best thing you can do in this situation is to have a heart-to-heart with him. Don't force him to come out. Just take it slow. I think one day he will do it, for you and for himself.
no we weren't caught- i think he wanted to be. I didn't go over. he was too scared and nervous. Best guess is that his fam won't take the news well, but you never know these days. I also don't think some will be shocked. His sister asked him how I was the other day so she obv suspects something.... He's been thinking a lot-- too much i think but he's not talking about his thoughts, so i don't know. I know his coming out is all about him but I'm involved too esp if we're gonna be official and public.
Then you'll have to give him time to think through and come to terms with himself. If he already has the idea, he will eventually do it. Don't worry.
He needs to come out and then introduce you separately. Having people just wake up and having him go 'Good morning, I'm gay and this is my boyfriend' isn't the best way to go about it. It's not your choice how he comes out, but it is your choice about how you're introduced into the situation, and that is not going to be a very good first impression for you to make.
Kerze, I agree completely. I've only met his mom once, very briefly but not how i want to be introduced. I told him to have me over for dinner or something a bit more casual- but i don't know- we do need a heart 2 heart n go from there!
