So I came out to my best friend first, a guy who I thought I was in love with. I found out he was gay. To be honest, I still feel like I'm in love with him but there is no other guy on the planet I feel remotely attracted to right now. He really is the exception. And whenever we say 'bye' I feel like part of me is walking away with him. Anyway, he was wonderful about it, I couldn't have asked for a better friend. And so I felt confident to go on to tell my family. I thought it would be awkward and it wasn't really, my family are kind and loving people who said that they would love me no matter what. It was actually the first time I remember my dad saying he loves me in a long time, although he shows it often. But I was in tears when I told my mother about it, and asked her to talk to my dad for me. She was more convinced than him, I think he believes that I am too young to know. He also said that if anyone asked at the moment he would just say "she doesn't have a boyfriend, she just has lots of friends". I think it will take me to really truly be convinced myself and to be convincing to my parents before they will believe me. They still see me as the baby of the family! And I am finding it hard to accept myself because there is no realistic possibility of a relationship with anyone I know right now, and I'm not sure I'm ready for it anyway. Part of me is longing for a girlfriend, and part of me just wants to forget it all. I always assumed I was straight, while being a complete tomboy who hated all things girly. (After all, gender and sexuality are linked but distinct from one another.) Until I started noticing women more than men. And spending half of my time thinking about LGBTQ+ issues and their connection with faith and love, and noticing the hatred displayed by so many religious people towards homosexuality, and feeling threatened and hurt. And suddenly feeling terrified of straight men. And realising that all of the guys I had 'fallen for' were gay. And realising that I was really intrigued by women and especially lesbians or bi women. Yet right now I feel like I'm back at square one. Or at least square two. I feel like a gay woman, yet the person I feel most strongly for is a gay man. I only catch myself checking out women or feeling tense/turned on around women, not men, except gay men really seem to have a hold on me! The question is, who am I and where do I go from here? Thanks for reading, and I'd love your comments xxx
I find myself with a similar dilemma... I'm attracted to both men and women, but lately all the women I like, like women... :bang: ... but hey, you like who you like... and if they don't like you that way, then its best to settle for being friends, and find someone that will like you that way... .
I'm a lesbian and I was in love with a guy once. It's...really confusing and difficult. Sure, you can love whoever you want, but let's be practical here. When I liked a guy, he ended up breaking up with me because he felt like he was holding me back. After all, I wasn't sexually attracted to him. He let me go because he said he would always be worrying that I would leave him for a girl--and I probably eventually would have. In this situation too, as much as you think you love this guy, you will probably eventually leave him for a girl. I want to believe I would never cheat. I honestly do. You also probably think you would never cheat on him. It's impossible to know how far our sexual desires will push us in the long run, though. This situation will end with you and him getting hurt. That's all that will happen.
I just got out of a relationship with a gay man of four years. He was my best friend and I was the first person he came out to. But as we got closer we developed feelings for each other,and it helped that he was very feminine. After four years I met a girl and realized i loved her differently than I loved him. I loved them both but I could'nt deny that how I felt for her made every piece of me happy. I hated hurting him and it was very hard, but I am happy with her now. Its okay to love people who don't fit into the orientation lable you choose. Just love you you want to love, but remember that your sexual preferences exist. I thought I could make it work but not truly enjoying sex is a big con for some people.
