JUST came out to my parents, I feel so free!

I was in denial for awhile about my sexuality. In college, all my friends were straight and I even hooked up with a few girls, sort of. I was drunk every time it happened and 2/3 I couldn't even become aroused as much as I tried. I just told myself it was because I was drunk. I'm 24 now, about to be 25 and one night after work a month ago I decided to stop lying to myself and just enjoy my life. I admitted to myself I was gay but didn't know what to do next. I have a deep voice and muscular build so people just always assumed I was straight. I like who I am and didn't change my personality just because I finally admitted I was gay. I was so overwhelmingly happy after all this. It just felt like I was free. After a couple weeks the free feeling faded as I was still not "out." I'm young and want to enjoy myself. I want to have fun and just be my gay self so I decided I needed to tell somebody. After another week had passed I was still thinking of ways to tell friends and family.

This past Saturday after work I went to a friend's apartment with a few of my coworkers. We're all young and have similar interests so we all usually hang out after work. I took a shot of this amazing vodka and that magic shot gave me the courage to change my life forever. NOTE: I'm not condoning the abuse of alcohol, I only drink lightly now, I'm just recapping the events of my "coming out" story. In casual conversation with a couple girls I work with I mentioned I was gay. They were like "omg we had no idea at all, that's awesome." I was so effing relieved I could barely contain myself. Everyone at my work is extremely supportive (I work in a very gay-friendly industry) and it feels amazing. I have a second job to help pay my student loans, and casually told a close coworker I was gay. She was also extremely supportive and I found out we both share an unending adoration of all things Britney Spears (I know it's a stereotype, but whatever get over it). Now comes the tough part: telling my parents!

I moved in to my parents' house after college to save money. It is absolutely horrible to live with your parents after college, I don't recommend it at all. AT ALL!!!! Here's a brief background: my family is technically Catholic and I went to a Catholic school from kindergarten thru eighth grade. We are not the least bit religious, my parents just didn't want to send me to a public school because my only option was a very sketchy/gangster school. My mom was a stylist for 20 years and has tons of gay friends. My dad is really old-school and doesn't give off a gay-friendly vibe. Anyway, my mom came home from work and proceeded to nag me to do the dishes like always. I've been working 60-70 hours a week so I don't always have time to do dishes. This argument soon escalated and then my Dad got involved. After a couple minutes I was like "f--- it." I told them "since you're already mad at me, I have something to tell you. I'm gay."

They reacted like I was telling them 'I am a white man' (I am). They were like 'why would we care you're gay? did you actually think we would mind?' I was in shock and left the house for a long drive. As I got in my car I put my sunglasses on and proceeded to cry the happiest f-cking tears I've ever cried. I just couldn't contain myself. I felt the happiest I've ever felt about anything my entire life. I had this thought in my head that I would always have to hide my sexuality from my parents since they wouldn't accept me. I don't know where that thought came from. I am still in shock! I immediately texted a friend and talked it out. It felt so good. A few hours later I discovered this amazing forum and that I'd share my story.

To all the gays out there who are scared to come out, please know that you are not alone and there is an enormous community that accepts you! I have never felt so free and at-ease. It is just euphoric! It feels great to know I have the rest of my life to enjoy being my gay self!

 

I totally understand where you're coming from. I was so irritable and moody and didn't feel happy anymore. I struggled like this for almost a year and then one night I just didn't have the energy to lie to myself anymore. It's awesome that you're comfortable enough to talk about it online. That's exactly what I did at first.

Something that helped me was a quote from Miriam Margolyses when she was on Graham Norton a few weeks ago. Someone mentioned "lesbians" in conversation, and she blurted out something along the lines of "I'm one of those. I like to tell others because I think it gives people courage and let's them know it's okay to be like that."

You'll develop that courage soon, I'm sure. You just need to surround yourself with people you're comfortable with and eventually you'll get that courage to tell them. I didn't think I would come out to everyone so quickly--I accepted myself only a month ago--yet here I am, out and proud! Best of luck!

 

Thank you all so much for the support! This is a great forum!

 

It wasn't my ideal way of coming out to them, but then again I had actually thought about never telling them and using a friend as my beard. Luckily it went very, very well. I never thought in a million years they would react like that. It's been two days and I'm still in shock.

I've had to work a lot this week and haven't been around enough to speak to them much since the day I told them, but I feel like that is probably for the best. Like you said, they'll probably need a little time to process what happened.

---------- Post added 26th Jul 2012 at 09:50 PM ----------

Thank you! It was a pretty brave moment for me, but I feel like it was only possible to have that courage because I told several others beforehand. I would definitely recommend coming out to friends first if you are afraid to tell your parents. Eventually you'll feel comfortable with the fact that others identify you as a homosexual, and it will be much easier to imagine your parents identifying you as one.

 

Thank you!!! That's the main reason I shared my story, to give others some optimism and provide an example of parents reacting surprisingly well.