For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender people coming out

**BudderMC** · 28th Jul 2012, 06:59 PM

Those of you following along with my coming-out shenanigans, here's where things stand. My family and a couple family friends went out shopping for the whole day. So, I spent the whole day trying to figure out how to come out to my mom, because I promised myself I would do it today. Time ran out and I ended up telling her very briefly in the parking lot before we left. She was cool with it, but it wasn't a very tact decision on my part.

Fast forward to dinner. We arrive at the restaurant, she sidebars me for a second before going in to talk a little bit, is happy that my friends are supportive and all that jazz. As we're eating dinner, my brother asks what we kept talking about in secret, so I promised I'd tell him later. We got home and well, I did. Then followed a rather nice family discussion on how proud they were and all those nice things I can't even begin to list. Needless to say it went exceptionally well.

So, for all intents and purposes, I think I'm now "out". As in I can post stuff on Facebook if I want and not be concerned at who reads it. All I've got left to do is call my dad in the next couple of days, but he's not connected to any other part of my social life, so it's less urgent.

Additionally, if anyone remembers I was concerned my brother was actually gay too... after watching his reaction today, I don't necessarily believe that anymore.

And, I know I was concerned my mom would see me as a super stereotypically flamboyant and feminine gay guy, like the rest of her gay friends. She said (even before I got to) that she totally gets that I'm not at all like one of them, and she doesn't expect me to be. Sweet.

I couldn't ask for anything more. I'm so happy and drained I don't even know what else to say. So thank you EC, from the bottom of my heart, for listening to me irrationally worry and continuously giving me advice the last 13 months (yeah, it's been exactly 13 months since I first came out, makes my OCD happy :P). I don't think I could've gotten here without you guys.

- Budder

Night Rain · 28th Jul 2012, 07:03 PM

Congratulations to you.

Now you need to change your Out Status!

**BudderMC** · 28th Jul 2012, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Night Rain

Congratulations to you.

Now you need to change your Out Status!

Thank you, and yes, I do! I forgot about that! *goes to change it*

Night Rain · 28th Jul 2012, 07:18 PM

Oh, do you mind if I ask you what your brother's reaction was?

**thecat06** · 28th Jul 2012, 07:20 PM

That's awesome!! I'm glad to hear that your family is supportive.

28th Jul 2012, 07:38 PM

Congrats Budder!

Orcas · 28th Jul 2012, 07:49 PM

Congratulations on coming out to your mom! Well done!

maxx · 28th Jul 2012, 07:57 PM

Budder - I am so damn PROUD of you!

Fantastic! Amazing!

And your family rocks!

Now go and enjoy your new life!

Maxx

Josh S · 28th Jul 2012, 08:02 PM

Congrats! Glad everything went well.

maxx · 28th Jul 2012, 08:18 PM

Budder - I'm also proud of you for using "for all intents and purposes" correctly - so many younger people say "for all intensive purposes"!

:-)

Maxx

**BudderMC** · 28th Jul 2012, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Night Rain

Oh, do you mind if I ask you what your brother's reaction was?

Nothing particularly special, it was just the usual "oh yeah, I'm really proud of you/thank you for sharing/nothing changes/etc." deal. But noting his behaviour and stuff, I figured if he was gay (and open) he'd find that a fair opportunity to say so, and if he was closeted he'd be a little more awkward about it, but he took it rather in stride.

As usual, I'm probably reading into this waaaaaay too much.

And thanks everyone! I'm gonna go sleep happily and wake up happily.

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxx

Budder - I'm also proud of you for using "for all intents and purposes" correctly - so many younger people say "for all intensive purposes"!

Admittedly, that's how I learned it... I knew what the idiom meant and what intensive meant, and that it didn't make sense that way. So I Googled it one day and have never said it incorrectly since. :P

Mike92 · 28th Jul 2012, 08:30 PM

Congratulations!

I recently just told one person and I know how extremely difficult it can be. Takes some balls.

**BudderMC** · 28th Jul 2012, 08:31 PM

It's too late to edit it in the beginning, but thank you to everyone who reminded me that doing it in person was probably worth waiting for - it definitely was. No regrets here.

And now I'm going to sleep, for real. :P

Lad123 · 28th Jul 2012, 09:22 PM

Omg I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!

starlightonmars · 28th Jul 2012, 09:49 PM

Well done! I'm glad it went so well.

BornAnew · 29th Jul 2012, 07:11 AM

Awesome news!! You must feel so free now!

Bobbgooduk · 29th Jul 2012, 07:21 AM

Well done, Budder! Don't feel bad that your timing and the location wasn't perfect. You could have planned it to perfection and it still have a failed mission.

As it was, your family reacted with character and distinction - they deserve you!

dreamcatcher · 29th Jul 2012, 12:25 PM

Woohoo! Go Budder!

karl178 · 29th Jul 2012, 12:49 PM

Sweet story

Good for you.

Sayu · 29th Jul 2012, 12:56 PM

Wow, congrats!

28th Jul 2012, 06:59 PM	#1
BudderMC keep on keepin' on. EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: I have caught 'the gay' Out Status: Out to (nearly) everyone Location: Ontario, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,969 Join Date: Jun 2010	For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Those of you following along with my coming-out shenanigans, here's where things stand. My family and a couple family friends went out shopping for the whole day. So, I spent the whole day trying to figure out how to come out to my mom, because I promised myself I would do it today. Time ran out and I ended up telling her very briefly in the parking lot before we left. She was cool with it, but it wasn't a very tact decision on my part. Fast forward to dinner. We arrive at the restaurant, she sidebars me for a second before going in to talk a little bit, is happy that my friends are supportive and all that jazz. As we're eating dinner, my brother asks what we kept talking about in secret, so I promised I'd tell him later. We got home and well, I did. Then followed a rather nice family discussion on how proud they were and all those nice things I can't even begin to list. Needless to say it went exceptionally well. So, for all intents and purposes, I think I'm now "out". As in I can post stuff on Facebook if I want and not be concerned at who reads it. All I've got left to do is call my dad in the next couple of days, but he's not connected to any other part of my social life, so it's less urgent. Additionally, if anyone remembers I was concerned my brother was actually gay too... after watching his reaction today, I don't necessarily believe that anymore. And, I know I was concerned my mom would see me as a super stereotypically flamboyant and feminine gay guy, like the rest of her gay friends. She said (even before I got to) that she totally gets that I'm not at all like one of them, and she doesn't expect me to be. Sweet. I couldn't ask for anything more. I'm so happy and drained I don't even know what else to say. So thank you EC, from the bottom of my heart, for listening to me irrationally worry and continuously giving me advice the last 13 months (yeah, it's been exactly 13 months since I first came out, makes my OCD happy :P). I don't think I could've gotten here without you guys. - Budder

28th Jul 2012, 07:03 PM	#2
Night Rain I'M CRAZY!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some Location: I'm Asian. Age: 21 Posts: 1,149 Join Date: Jun 2012 Tournaments Won: 1	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Congratulations to you. Now you need to change your Out Status!

28th Jul 2012, 07:18 PM	#4
Night Rain I'M CRAZY!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some Location: I'm Asian. Age: 21 Posts: 1,149 Join Date: Jun 2012 Tournaments Won: 1	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Oh, do you mind if I ask you what your brother's reaction was?

28th Jul 2012, 07:20 PM	#5
thecat06 Let the journey of life continue! EC Moderator Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! (Homoromantic Demisexual) Out Status: Out as pan to most, out as gay completely Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 20 Posts: 7,054 Join Date: Jun 2011 Tournaments Won: 9	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". That's awesome!! I'm glad to hear that your family is supportive. __________________ The tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. -Anderson Cooper

28th Jul 2012, 07:38 PM	#6
King Guest Posts: n/a Tournaments Won: 15	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Congrats Budder!

28th Jul 2012, 07:49 PM	#7
Orcas EC Board Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and about Location: BC, Canada Age: 36 Posts: 11,824 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Congratulations on coming out to your mom! Well done! __________________ ~ Somewhere within us all there is a secret garden. A garden in which we can seek refuge when times are rough or retire to in joy or contemplation ~

28th Jul 2012, 07:57 PM	#8
maxx Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay, Still Married Out Status: Everyone Location: San Francisco Posts: 166 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Budder - I am so damn PROUD of you! Fantastic! Amazing! And your family rocks! Now go and enjoy your new life! Maxx __________________ This above all: to thine own self be true It is never too late to become the person you were meant to be

28th Jul 2012, 08:02 PM	#9
Josh S Anxiety-Prone Overthinker Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Cleaning out the closet Location: Upstate New York Age: 22 Posts: 966 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Congrats! Glad everything went well. __________________ "Any life, however long and complicated it may be, actually consists of a single moment — the moment when a man knows forever more who he is." - Jorge Luis Borges

28th Jul 2012, 08:18 PM	#10
maxx Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay, Still Married Out Status: Everyone Location: San Francisco Posts: 166 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Budder - I'm also proud of you for using "for all intents and purposes" correctly - so many younger people say "for all intensive purposes"! :-) Maxx __________________ This above all: to thine own self be true It is never too late to become the person you were meant to be

28th Jul 2012, 08:30 PM	#12
Mike92 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: One person. Location: Erie, PA but originally from Buffalo, NY Age: 20 Posts: 1,178 Join Date: Apr 2012	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Congratulations! I recently just told one person and I know how extremely difficult it can be. Takes some balls. __________________

28th Jul 2012, 08:31 PM	#13
BudderMC keep on keepin' on. EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: I have caught 'the gay' Out Status: Out to (nearly) everyone Location: Ontario, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,969 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". It's too late to edit it in the beginning, but thank you to everyone who reminded me that doing it in person was probably worth waiting for - it definitely was. No regrets here. And now I'm going to sleep, for real. :P

28th Jul 2012, 09:22 PM	#14
Lad123 Shine bright like a diamond Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Sister, sister-in-law, cousin, 3 friends Location: England Age: 24 Posts: 669 Join Date: Apr 2012	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Omg I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!

28th Jul 2012, 09:49 PM	#15
starlightonmars The lucky ones Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Je suis homosexual Out Status: Anyone who asks, parents choosing to forget Location: UK Age: 18 Posts: 81 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Well done! I'm glad it went so well. __________________ Could it be, you and me, are the lucky ones?

29th Jul 2012, 07:11 AM	#16
BornAnew Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: 10 close friends & Mum Location: Exeter, UK Age: 21 Posts: 202 Join Date: Apr 2012	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Awesome news!! You must feel so free now!

29th Jul 2012, 07:21 AM	#17
Bobbgooduk Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 54 Posts: 703 Join Date: Jul 2012	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Well done, Budder! Don't feel bad that your timing and the location wasn't perfect. You could have planned it to perfection and it still have a failed mission. As it was, your family reacted with character and distinction - they deserve you!

29th Jul 2012, 12:25 PM	#18
dreamcatcher EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gayelle Out Status: Some people Location: Florida Age: 21 Posts: 675 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Woohoo! Go Budder!

29th Jul 2012, 12:49 PM	#19
karl178 Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: To most of my family and friends Location: London UK Age: 35 Posts: 57 Join Date: Jun 2012	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Sweet story Good for you.

29th Jul 2012, 12:56 PM	#20
Sayu EC Addict Full Member Gender: very tomboyish girl Orientation: I'm into people. Out Status: about 20 friends, brother and Mum <3 Location: Europe Age: 19 Posts: 666 Join Date: Mar 2012	Re: For all intents and purposes, I'm "out". Wow, congrats! __________________ “...the man of my dreams is a girl.” "Don't listen to them, you get to come in, too!" (Chris Colfer)