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Isolation

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by Pippa, Jul 31, 2012.

  1. Pippa

    Pippa Guest

    It's been what, about 6 weeks, maybe a little more since I came out? It was really good at first.... it was like the "pink cloud" feeling, I guess, simply because I decided to come out and the world didn't collapse around me? Since then, however, I've landed with a very loud thud back on solid earth where the reality seems to suck (e.g. fundamentalists trying to make your life miserable, boycott Chick FilA, more and more stories of lesbians and gays being beaten or killed).... kind of like, when you land, you land HARD....

    What I find myself facing now is an isolation even deeper than when I was in the closet. I have very few friends, and no "everyday" friends, at least not around here. When I was closeted, I was so miserable that it hardly mattered. Now that I'm out, though, it seems like it really DOES matter.... and in a way, the isolation is even more profound because of the fact that I don't KNOW any gay or lesbian people! I used to know a bunch of gay guys, back when I was active in the music and theatre community, but health problems have forced me to leave that particular arena. So it's like right now, I know no one at all. It shouldn't be surprising, this place is as Republican and fundamentalist as you can get, and I can't afford to move.... but surely, statistically I CAN'T be the only gay person in my county. The numbers are against it.

    I don't really know what to do but I've discovered that in three weeks there is a PFLAG meeting about 24 miles from my house. So I'm aiming to go to that. Hopefully this sense of isolation will lift. I guess it's not something I bargained for or expected.

    Feedback appreciated, esp. if you've been to PFLAG, does it help? Thanks much....
     
  2. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Hi there! Sorry that your feeling of coming out has turned from being fantastic to not so good. (*hug*)

    Take your coming out as a new start in making some new friends. Ask yourself: Now that I'm out and can be myself, what can I do, to improve my life (including social life)?

    Going to the PFLAG meeting is a great idea, and will help you in getting to know other LGBT. That's probably a really good chance to get to know others and also to find out about events or social get togethers that you could join.

    Also, you have mentioned that you know a few gay guys. Maybe try contacting them? They might not be in your geographic area, but maybe having that contact to them might help with feeling less isolated as well.
     
  3. Gravity

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    I second this. I haven't been to a PFLAG meeting myself, but I've been to meetings of other lbgt groups and they're very helpful, especially if you're feeling isolated.

    You're exactly right that you can't be the only gay person in your county. In fact I'm betting there are many! But the social conditions you're referring to probably affect others the same way they're affecting you.

    The news can be discouraging at times, I agree. It never makes anyone happy to hear about people being bigoted or prejudiced towards them, or towards a group that they belong to. But like all news in this country, it's much easier to find the bad stories than the good ones - and good ones are happening all the time. Don't forget, in any case, your story:

     
  4. nibbler

    nibbler Guest

    "Now that I'm out, though, it seems like it really DOES matter."

    That's the spirit ! Regardless of what you do events in the world will keep happening. As you mentioned some are depression and bad, eg. Chick-Fil-a but some are great such as more countries legalizing gay marriage. The fact is gay rights today are much better than they were 20 years ago, and I paraphrase Gandhi "The road to freedom is long, but it always bends towards truth." (or something along those lines).