Came out to someone ...need advice on what to do next

[nibbler]

Hi everyone !

Last night I came out to the first person ever ! Shes a more distant friend, we only traded some video games a few times and that's it. Judging by her facebook posts, she is a lesbian, so I assumed she would be accepting. And even if she weren't we are not that close so whatever. SO i messaged her on facebook....

Her:
hey

Me:
hey

Her:
wuddup

Me:
can I ask you for advice
and if I go offline is b/c mom is near

Her:
ill try to help
LOL
np

Me:
so ummm...from your facebook posts I assume you like girls right...

Her:
LOLLL
ur the first one
to actually come up to me
and say that about m facebook posts
haha
my*
wait... is it about the xbox bra?

Me:
so I like boys...
ur the first person I told this

Her:
ohhhhh
andyy (not my real name)! O_O
well
Im glad ur telling me!!
woww
ur not joking right?

Me:
no I'm not

Her:
how long have u known?

<so then I came more talkative and continued with the conversation>

She was exhilarated and shocked and said she never suspected it. She even invited me to meet with some lgbt friends from her uni ! Unfortunately, since she is indian, her family was not accepting at all, and she was forced back into the closet. What she suggested is that I should take my time, probably wait until i'm done university and get a job etc.
I don't think I can wait that long. I planned to come out to my parents at my birthday, which is in two months, because frankly I can't stand their comments and speculations about who will be my wife, if I found a GF etc. Staying in the closet is taking a psychological toll on me - I can't fall asleep, sometimes i'm feeling nauseous, sometimes I get aggressive etc.
The question is whether I should come out to parents sooner or later. If I come out sooner I will keep my mental health, even if there will be a lot of arguing, bickering and possibly parents not talking to me. If I come out later (next year birthday) I might have a better support group, but currently I think the few close friends I have is enough.

Thanks for reading my rant

PS: The reason I have to come out on my birthday is because my parents work wierd shifts, and are often stressed from work. On my birthday they usually take the day off, are relaxed and I can tell both at the same time. Not to mention the symbolic meaning.

[thecat06]

Congrats on coming out to your friend!!

I would do what you feel most comfortable with. If you feel comfortable coming out to your parents on your birthday, then go for it!! I would just have some backup plans in place so that if you or your parents needed alone time you could have it.

Good luck!! Let us know how it goes if you do come out!!

[Bobbgooduk]

Originally Posted by nibbler

Hi everyone !

PS: The reason I have to come out on my birthday is because my parents work wierd shifts, and are often stressed from work. On my birthday they usually take the day off, are relaxed and I can tell both at the same time. Not to mention the symbolic meaning.

Will you be 21 on your birthday?

Congratulations on taking your first step. Let us know how the Big Birthday Reveal goes - we're all thinking of you!

[CTJ]

I know exactly how you feel with the speculation and the psychological effects. I came out to two people almost a year ago, and i havent had the guts to do it with anyone else since. Its quite funny really, i can get quite defensive and aggressive if people push the subject of GF's on me, well funny might not be the right word...

But anyway, I think if you're really comfortable and ready to come out to your parents then you should go for it. If i had the guts to, i would shed these feelings of anger, saddness and isolation and just tell mine. Let us know how you get on!

[nibbler]

Hi guys, thanks for the two replies. Strangely enough, the bugging about getting a GF stopped and now I'm feeling much better. However, I think I will come out next year and until then slowly and gradually come out to friends and build a support group.
Considering I'm starting school in September I will not have any time to deal with stuff like this.

[RueBea85]

Congrats on coming out to your friend, I've only come out to two people it was a couple months ago, and I want to come out to others but I think I'm going to wait. There is no problem with waiting, you just have to come out when you feel most comfortable. I think sometimes people get too excited about coming out and if you come out to soon, it can be uncomfortable!