Best Friend didn't take my coming out to him well :(

You had a bad initial response but in the end it has all worked out.

I think you will have to be ready to have people first response to be a little shocked or whatever just because they have to adjust to the idea and get used to it. I think if you give them time and show them tha you are sill there for them just the same as before and that nothing needs to change in your relationship with them then it will help make them comfortable with it.

Try telling someone you trust to test the water, you probably just need to get it out there to get your confidence back a bit.

Hope it goes well for you

M

 

I don't think you can conclude a general trend from one experience.

As an outsider, I don't really think it went as badly as you thought it did - at least he was prepared to discuss it with you, even if you were not able to agree at the end. I wouldn't take that as a rejection of your friendship. Or you mustn't allow it to seem that way from your part.

Of course you're not an abomination - and that wasn't the question he asked. He asked you if you thought it was WRONG and that is a question that a lot of gay, bi and questioning people ask themselves.

I asked it myself too and decided that if I believe in a loving Father, he would not want me to be tortured, lonely and unhappy and so I was selective in my interpretation, just as many other people are.

Why did you choose this friend to be the one you told? You must have had a reason to trust him enough to tell him. He may have zealotous (nice word) tendencies, but you thought he was a decent guy too.

No - in all, I think it could have gone a lot worst but don't reject him as a friend for asking a pretty normal question for people from a religious background.

And don't take his reaction as being indicative of what you can expect in general. Each time it will be different because everyone is an individual, just as you are. (*hug*)

 

And that is why coming out is so difficult - you just never know 100% how someone will react.

For someone of your age, you seem to understand exactly where you stand and you have anger on your side. People will always find a (mis)quote to throw at you but Jesus left the world with one commandment above ABOVE all others - to love one another as I have loved you.

I think that is a commandment that too often gets overlooked and I ask myself, if I met Jesus today, how would he love me?

If he is what Christians believe he is, then the answer is simple.

And ALL Christians, if they follow his example, will love me in just the same way.

But really, you are not going to convince people who do not want to be convinced. You might need to think about letting go of that particular cruscade - it will cause you a lot of heartache.

There are a lot of people on here who have faced similar difficulties, who have researched the ins and outs of what the Bible does and doesn't say but, ultimately, it is your belief that Christ loves you ans commanded everyone to love "as I have loved you" which is the important thought to hold in your head.

:smilewave

 

http://thewestmeadows.blog.com/2012/07/28/on-the-bible-and-homosexuality/

Good post that basically sheds light on the whole issue of homosexuality being against Christianity. Goes to show that the Bible really doesn't condemn homosexuality... which is great.

 

Congratulations! :eusa_danc

 

I think his response was fairly normal.

When I told my best friend, he went quiet for a few minutes before even making a noise again. He ended out being okay with it, and I think your friend will too. Some people just don't react well to things.

 

If it makes you feel better, my best friend is a religious phreak. When he heard a rumor he got depressed for about 2 weeks and drank every time he could. One day we were all out and he got hammered (because of me) but still he allowed me to support/hug him (he had hard time standing). One other friend began talking about himself kissing a guy (to make me feel more comftorable about coming out) and that did relax me. Later that night they bought me some drinks (also to help me to come out) and the bisexual one asked me. I came out, and surprisingly everyone (5 people i was with including my brother) was ok with it and actually congradulated me on having the strength to say it.

As for my best friend, at that time he was already home and got infformed via cellphone. Next day he asked me to go to cafe with him and I did. On way there I told him that he can ask me whatever he wants about it. He asked some questions, I was embarased a bit but explaind him how I feel about males.

The group began throwing some jokes (to handle it better) and after a week everything retourned to normal.

What I want to say is that different people may have different reactions, however a true friend will stay a friend no matter what. Just give people some time to get used to it.

Also when I came out I regreted it the next day and was regreting it the first week, however that soon became a big relife to me and today I am glad they know.

Gl in your future coming out. I hope my story made you feel better and gave you courage needed (and we all know a lot is needed for the first few times)