I FINALLY DID IT!!! I came out to my mom, she finally knows. She noticed something was bothering me all evening, I had even taken up nail bitting because I was so nervous. I told her I had something important to tell her and I did not know how would she react about it. She could not stand the anticipation, she kicked my brother out of the room. I was so scared cause she was basically not letting me get out of telling her. I told her I was questioning my sexuality and i thought I was bisexual, maybe a lesbian. She told me she still loved me and that the only thing she was dissapointed about was that she wanted grandkids. I told her I could always adopt or the other alternative methods. I feel kinda upset that she feels she can't have grandchildren but she supports me. She said I should keep the whole being gay thing to myself for a while until I became an adult and was sure. She suggested I never tell my very conservative grandparents, I guess if I decide to have a commitment ceremony some day they arent invited... I told her I was out to my friends and they were supportive of me. I also mentioned we had a gay/straight alliance at my school that I thought about joining. She also mentioned, which kinda annoyed me was that at my age kids always have mixed feelings and I quickly told her it was not a phase. She said she will always loved me and wanted me to be open with her. I feel so much better, a little upset about the whole grandkids thing but overall I am happy. Sorry for the long post. :icon_smil
yay!! congratulations on telling your mom!! I'm glad it went so well, and you're right, there are plenty of other methods of having children cause i mean, all you really need is a sperm donor and you're all set. congratulations again!! that took guts and now you've past that massive step in your coming out process, excellent!
Hey - congratulations! It sounds like it went very well. She will probably want to talk to you over the next few weeks, and will probably go over the same stuff several times. She has to come to terms with this now, which will take time. Only do that if you want kids yourself though. Not just because she wants grandchildren. That's a few years off anyway, so it's not really an issue now.
Congrats on everything and she does have some good advice, grandparents dont have to know, they'll pass on long before any realationship with a girl or boy become serous enough that you cant hide it from them (or at least its habit here, maybe they'll live to a ripe age and you'll have to force it upon them, in which case, tough spinach for them). And the "kids your age" talk, that annoys the tomatos outta' me, but just smile and pretend you're taking it into consideration, arguing with her wouldn't be worth the energy (well, if you succed it would but best not to test your luck). And if she wants grandkids, tell her to pester your brother, she dont need two sets of grandkids and if she wants him. Unless of course you would go through the process for yourself. Dont do it on your mom or dad's requests. Congrats again and here's to hope for a better future with you and your family.
Thanks guys, for the advice and support. I told her there was always my brother. I know kids are far far far away in my future and I don't plan to think about any of that right now. My mom is going to help me come out to my brother. I just hope he accepts me, we have such a close bond, I don't want it to be destroyed.
Don't worry too too much about your brother, i mean, if your mom has already pretty much accepted you then your brother probably will. Also chances are that hes not looking for grandkids from you so thats probably helpful in the acceptance process. I told my sister a few months ago about me and she was totally fine with it...i think the most dissapointing thing i told her all night was that, yes, i still think johnny depp is creepy.
:surprised *slap*....:tantrum: lol, just kidding, but yes, if your mom went over well i wouldnt suspect much of a hassle from your brother. But to tell you the truth, if he did happen to not so much as totally reject you but shy away from you, would it really hurt as much as if your mother shyed? Hopefully all will go well and my sincere best wishes, but dont let it bother you too much if he lets stupidity and indifferenciality (woah, not sure if it's a word, but it's dancy and i like it...therefore, should be in the dictionary) get the better of him...he'll come around.
I hope everything goes well, its just my brother can accept gay and lesbian people in general, just not his sister. I'm not totally sure about my claim yet, we will find out next week when I come out to him. I figure it would be better to come out after his birthday, hehe. True, my brother shying would be better than my mother but I dont want anyone to shy away in general, but I can't always help that, now can I.
In addition to my above post, when I approach my brother with the idea I could be gay he says it is stupid, that teenagers can't be bisexual, that it is just hormones and the whole scenario of me being gay is improbable.
Well that's sort of insulting. So teenagers can know they're straight at that age, but not know that they're gay? If my either of my two brothers said that, I think I might actually hit them! Having people explain things away as hormones is just..... well, it's really, really annoying. You should tell him that whether or not it's hormones, you're still attracted to other girls at the moment, and it's most likely that that attraction will continue past teenage years. If that doesn't appease him, you should at least yell at him... that view of his is a bit close-minded. Some of my older friends have known their sexuality since they were twelve! Of course, not yelling at him would probably be the socially acceptable thing to do. Er.... how about you just try and talk some sense into him your way? I don't think my ranting helped much...
dont worry if your brother doesnt accept you! like at what happened to me, i came out to my sister who is like mungo religous and she compleetly freeked and wouldent talk to me for like three weeks and that was a couple of months ago, she went away to cadet camp for like 7 weeks and when she came back she told us that one of her frends was coming to visit and was wondering if she could stay at our housemy parents where all fine and dandy with that. but later that day my sister confessed to me that the girl that was coming was (surprise, surprise) her girlfriend. so dont get to worked up about it he will eventualy get used to it and become more accepting.
My jaw dropped when i heard that story, both in real life and now. Talk about an out of the blue. But yeah the moral of the story. Appearances can be decieving, your brother could turn out totally accepting. Ciao.
That is strange, but yet oh-so ironic! Ended up workin' out well I s'pose, funny too that she rejected you, but came back with a girlfriend, you should rub it in her face! <- Joking!
Congrats! That's such a great feeling, isn't it? Also, about the whole wanting grandkids thing, my mom said something similar. Kind of jokingly, in a bittersweet way. But dont' worry about that, that's much much much farther down the road. What matters is that she accepts you and loves you for who you are. I think that's one of the best feelings in the world.
